1. The War Within (1 Peter 2:11) Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. (Genesis 4:6-7) Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? {7} If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

2. Frustrated Longings Envy of other believers can make us angry I wish…I want…If only…I long for… I wish I had that ability. I wish I was friends with _____. I wish I could own one of those. I wish I could afford that lifestyle. I wish I was married…, or was married to someone like her/him. I wish I could experience that pleasure… have an affair. I wish I had children…, or that my children were more like ______. I wish I had parents like ______. I wish I was in charge. I wish those people accepted me. I wish my personality was more… I wish I was more attractive/noticed. I wish I was healthy like _______. I wish my life was like _______ without my mistakes and regrets. I wish I was successful like ______. I wish things were like before. I wish I had less responsibility. I wish I had time to do what _____ does. I wish I got the recognition I deserve. I wish I had that opportunity.

3. How my envy or desires cause conflict Direct conflict – Someone has what I want and I compete with them for it (money, inheritance, position, job, attention, approval, romantic relationship, favorite chair) Transferred anger – My desire to have or achieve something is frustrated, so I take out my anger on someone else – which causes a conflict. Indirect conflict Long for security – I want more money like others, but my boss seems stingy or I think my spouse spends too much. Long for significance – I want to keep my job or position or influence, but someone threatens it. Long for closeness – I long for a “good marriage” so I try to fix/change my spouse into the kind of person I think I want.

4. God’s Jealous Love (Exodus 20:5) You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God… (Exodus 34:14) Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. (Zechariah 8:2) This is what the LORD Almighty says: "I am very jealous for Zion (His people the Jews); I am burning with jealousy for her."

5. James 4:1-5 {1} What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? {2} You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. {3} When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. {4} You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. {5} Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the Spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?