1. Meeting God through... Divorce... NB Very conscious that this is one of several very personal and potentially painful areas of life Come back to me with thoughts – pastoral care is for the whole body of Christ to share in How do we regard people who have been divorced? Why might divorced people feel they may not be welcome in church? How can we show the love of Christ? What about the ‘guilty party’?

2. The starting point... Human nature is always imperfect Genesis 3 – ‘The Fall’ Guilt, so try to hide from God Inability to keep the simplest commandment, despite lavish provision Blame someone else So the world no longer works as God originally intended –Danger in childbirth –Power games will be the norm –Work will be a necessary evil all life long This is the lot of all humanity (Eve as mother of all) – indeed all of creation

3. So how should we regard people who have been divorced? The same as everyone else – we are all in the same boat! Part of fallen humanity Redeemed by Christ if we turn to him This does not take away the consequences in this world even though it means that we are ‘found again’ by God –Compare with Peter after the first Easter: guilt hanging over him, but restored by Jesus –Work still to do for God, and not an easy life (Peter’s execution foretold in John 21)

4. Why might divorced people feel uneasy in church? Bible teaching on marriage and divorce Only one husband / wife One flesh until death parts Jesus ‘Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces and marries another man, she commits adultery’ (Mark 10) ‘Anyone who divorces his wife except for ‘porneia’ and marries another woman commits adultery (Matthew 19) ‘Anyone who divorces his wife, except for porneia, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery’ (Matthew 5)

5. But remember Jesus also said: ‘But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart’. –Gouge out your eye! Cut off your hand! So God’s rules haven’t changed... But were they ever obeyed? Polygamy in the Old Testament – including the heroes David, Solomon Writing a bill of divorce for various reasons (Deuteronomy) – used by Pharisees to test Jesus (became ‘any reason’...)

6. Back to the fall.. Can God’s laws ever be fully kept? If they could be, why was the cross necessary? Did Jesus intend to make people realise that it is impossible? –In order to bring them to repentance and accept the need for a Saviour –While giving apparently harsh laws, he was also eating with sinners... –And forgiving a woman caught in adultery

7. So where have we got to? Yes, divorce is a sin So too are loads of other things We all fall short So who are we to condemn? Practicalities –hard for divorced people to remain in the same church fellowship –But possible still to be committed to Christ and therefore join another –The blame game... Guilty party? Yes, pretty clear sometimes –But is it still possible for the ‘guilty’ one to be a Christian? What would repentance actually mean? Another divorce?

8. We are in the murky ground of the real world. This age The age to come This age First coming of JesusSecond coming of Jesus We live here... Old Testament view New Testament view

9. The only unforgiveable sin is rejecting God (Holy Spirit) God’s standards are to be aimed for –They are the way the world works best Every other way is sin –Humility and repentance –Realise we only have any hope through grace –Not by our own efforts Brilliant advice in Eph 4:

10. Put off your old self, put on the new Speak truthfully – no games When angry don’t let it lead to sin –Don’t go to bed angry –Or the devil has a foothold Work don’t steal Let your talk build up not put down Get rid of: –Bitterness –Rage –Slander –Malice Be kind and compassionate –Forgive others because you yourselves are forgiven in Christ

11. Hanging on to these things only harms you, even if you are the one who has been wronged The church as a place where we are all in it together, a collection of people, all of whom need healing and grace