1. My momma says that I’m confused about 99% of the time. Is that a lot?

2. Can we make this quick? I can’t be late for my fried Twinkie eating contest. Awesome! Sparky hungry… very hungry!

6. Does this mean I won’t have to remember two sets of rules? That’s kinda like the two-for-one chili-dipped monster burrito deal over at Tangy Tacos!

8. But what if I have to multiply or divide more than two integers at once? It’s a gift!

11. So I just count negative signs to determine the sign of my answer? Then I can forget the signs and just multiply or divide?

13. You can congratulate me after I destroy a couple dozen fried Twinkies! I might have to consider myself a multiplying and dividing integers’ ace, sir!