1. LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION

2. Small Talk

3. LEVEL 1: SMALL TALK No Sharing of yourself or personal feelings Ex: weather Used when you meet new people. Used with acquaintances too

4. Small Talk Tell facts about yourself

5. Examples of facts: background, interests, skills. No personal feelings Report only facts LEVEL 2: TELL FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF AND OTHERS

6. Small Talk Tell facts about yourself Express Ideas

7. If you feel comfortable with people, you will express some of your ideas You are watching for rejection or acceptance If your ideas are accepted, then you will go into level 4 LEVEL 3: EXPRESSING IDEAS

8. Small Talk Tell facts about yourself Express Ideas Share Feelings

9. You are able to share some thoughts and feelings, but still on guard LEVEL 4: SHARING FEELINGS

10. Small Talk Tell facts about yourself Express Ideas Share Feelings Be Completely Honest

11. Also known as peak communication Share all feelings and ideas Others will accept and respect these ideas and feelings without question Complete openness and honesty Some relationships may take months or even years to reach this level; some may never reach it LEVEL 5: BEING COMPLETELY HONEST

12. LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION Activity: Break into groups of 4-5 and make a small circle with desks Everyone must participate and no talking with other groups

13. LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION ACTIVITY Round #1: Each person should engage in small talk with group members.

14. LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION ACTIVITY Round #2: Each person should share an event they have experienced.

15. LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION ACTIVITY Round #3: Each person should describe a situation that has proven to be a good influence in his/her life.

16. LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION ACTIVITY Round #4: Each person should describe a quality he/she already has that will make her/him a better parent or spouse.

17. LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION ACTIVITY Round #5: Each person must give a compliment to at least one other person in his/her group.

18. IMPROVING COMMUNICATION Read Virginia Satir and Communication on back of levels of communication notes

19. PATTERNS OF COMMUNICATION PLACATING Always agreeing Always pleasing others Called “yes-men”

20. PATTERNS OF COMMUNICATION BLAMING Blames others Tries to control others Person is loud, tyrannical, puts everyone down

21. PATTERNS OF COMMUNICATION COMPUTING People who hide feelings Sensible Correct Calm, cool and collected Uses big words and stays away from emotional upsets Never gets close to people Unable to communicate with others on meaningful levels

22. PATTERNS OF COMMUNICATION DISTRACTING Whatever he says or does, does not relate to what anyone else is saying or doing Ignores questions Changes subject Acts as if surroundings are meaningless

23. What communication skills could be used to avoid or deal with these four patterns? Placating? Blaming? Computing? Distracting?