1. Sample OMAM Essay Revision Body Paragraph

2. Lennie and George are best friends that travel together to find work during the Great Depression. It’s hard because Lennie is mentally handicapped, so he slows George down a lot from getting their dream of a little ranch. One time, George told Lennie, “God a’mighty, if I was alone I could go get a job an work, an no trouble. No mess at all, and when the end of the month come I could take my fifty bucks and go into town and whatever I want.” (Steinbeck, 11) This shows that George can’t get his dream because he wants to go into town and have no trouble. The author is saying that George is sacrificing because he cares about Lennie and wants what is best for him, thus giving up his own happiness. Whenever Lennie gets in trouble at a job, George and Lennie “got to sneak out in the dark and get outa the country”.(Steinbeck, 28) George is very frustrated because he feels like Lennie’s disability is constantly keeping them from reaching their dream by financially hindering them. This is important because if Lennie keeps getting in trouble, the friends will not get their dream. I really think George loves Lennie a lot and wants him to have the rabbits so he’s happy and doesn’t have such a hard time.

3. TASK # 1: CIRCLE ALL CONTRACTIONS AND PERSONAL PRONOUNS

4. Lennie and George are best friends that travel together to find work during the Great Depression. It’s hard because Lennie is mentally handicapped, so he slows George down a lot from getting their dream of a little ranch. One time, George told Lennie, “God a’mighty, if I was alone I could go get a job an work, an no trouble. No mess at all, and when the end of the month come I could take my fifty bucks and go into town and whatever I want.” (Steinbeck, 11) This shows that George can’t get his dream because he wants to go into town and have no trouble. The author is saying that George is sacrificing because he cares about Lennie and wants what is best for him, thus giving up his own happiness. Whenever Lennie gets in trouble at a job, George and Lennie “got to sneak out in the dark and get outa the country”.(Steinbeck, 28) George is very frustrated because he feels like Lennie’s disability is constantly keeping them from reaching their dream by financially hindering them. This is important because if Lennie keeps getting in trouble, the friends will not get their dream. I really think George loves Lennie a lot and wants him to have the rabbits so he’s happy and doesn’t have such a hard time. TASK #2: HIGHLIGHT “NO-NO” PHRASES

5. Lennie and George are best friends that travel together to find work during the Great Depression. It’s hard because Lennie is mentally handicapped, so he slows George down a lot from getting their dream of a little ranch. One time, George told Lennie, “God a’mighty, if I was alone I could go get a job an work, an no trouble. No mess at all, and when the end of the month come I could take my fifty bucks and go into town and whatever I want.” (Steinbeck, 11) This shows that George can’t get his dream because he wants to go into town and have no trouble. The author is saying that George is sacrificing because he cares about Lennie and wants what is best for him, thus giving up his own happiness. Whenever Lennie gets in trouble at a job, George and Lennie “got to sneak out in the dark and get outa the country”.(Steinbeck, 28) George is very frustrated because he feels like Lennie’s disability is constantly keeping them from reaching their dream by financially hindering them. This is important because if Lennie keeps getting in trouble, the friends will not get their dream. I really think George loves Lennie a lot and wants him to have the rabbits so he’s happy and doesn’t have such a hard time. TASK #4 AND #5: UNDERLINE ALL CDs IN A RED PEN AND ALL CMs IN GREEN

6. TASK #6: FIND YOUR CM:CD RATIO YOU ESSENTIALLY HAVE FOUR CM SENTENCES IN THE SAMPLE PARAGRAPH. YOU HAVE 4-5 CD SENTENCES. SO, YOU HAVE A SIMPLIFIED RATIO OF 1:1. THIS SHOULD SHOW YOU THAT YOU HAVE TOO MANY CD SENTENCES IN YOUR PARAGRAPH. LOOKING AT THE PARAGRAPH, YOU SHOULD SEE THAT YOUR TOPIC SENTENCE, YOUR CONCLUDING SENTENCE AND ONE OF YOUR CM SENTENCES WERE ALL ACTUALLY CDS. CHANGING THESE TO QUALITY ANALYSIS WOULD HAVE GOTTEN YOU MUCH CLOSER TO THE 2 CMS:1CD RATIO YOU ARE LOOKING FOR WHEN WRITING A RESPONSE TO LITERATURE ESSAY.