1. Chapter 4 Dating and Cohabitation
Cultural and Historical Background of Dating
Functions of Dating in the U.S.
Meeting a Partner
Dating after Divorce
Cohabitation
Consequences of Cohabitation
Ending an Unsatisfactory Relationship

2. Functions of Dating in the U.S.
Confirmation of social self.
Recreation
Companionship/intimacy/sex
Anticipatory socialization
Status achievement
Mate selection

3. Relationship Problems: Casual Daters
Communication
Lack of commitment
Jealousy
Other problems: sex, alcohol/drugs, etc.
No Problems
Different Values

4. Relationship Problems: Involved Daters
Communication
Other problems: sex, alcohol/drugs, etc.
Jealousy
Time for relationship
Lack of money
Places to go

5. Dating After Divorce Over 2 million Americans divorce annually.
3/4 of divorced people remarry.
The divorced who date are 10 years older than those dating/marrying for the first time.

6. Cohabitation
60% of U.S. women who married in the 1990s cohabitated before marriage.
In Sweden, 90% of first marriages preceded by living together.
In Iceland, norm is to have children, cohabitate with children, then marry.

7. Increase in Cohabitation
Reasons
Career commitments.
Fear of marriage.
Increased tolerance from society.
Birth control technology.
Avoid legal control of relationship.  

8. Types of Cohabitation Relationships
Here and now: future plans uncertain.
Testers: test to see if relationship is right for marriage.
Engaged: partners are formally engaged.
Money savers: partners live together out of economic convenience.

9. Types of Cohabitation Relationships
Separated: partners are divorcing previous partners.
Pension partners: live with new partner to keep health benefits from deceased partner.
Cohabitants forever: live together forever instead of getting married.  

10. Experience of Cohabitation
Deciding to move in together
Couples “drift” into living together by spending increasing amounts of time together
Rarely is there a “decision” to live together.
Money and property
Most keep money/property separate.

11. Experience of Cohabitation
Sexual values and behaviors
More likely to have less traditional sexual values.
Higher frequency of sexual behavior than marrieds or singles.

12. Advantages of Cohabitation
Happiness: happier than noncohabitant singles but less happy than marrieds.
Delayed marriage: better to live together than to marry at a young age.
Learning about self and partner.
Less traumatic ending.

13. Disadvantages of Cohabitation
Higher depression levels among cohabitant mothers.
Partner most involved may feel used or tricked.
Some hide cohabitation from parents, which can strain relationship.
Partner may receive no health, Social Security, or retirement benefits.

14. Considerations in Ending a Relationship
Consider improving a relationship before ending it.
Acknowledge that ending relationship will be painful.
Blame decision to end relationship on self, not partner.

15. Considerations in Ending a Relationship
Cut off relationship completely if you are the person being terminated.
Learn by looking at issues that ended the relationship.
Allow time to heal: it takes 12 to 18 months to heal from an intense relationship.