1. Conflict and absorbing pain Part 1- who are you?

2.  Victim or victor?  Actor or reactor?  Leader or cannon fodder?  What did you expect to happen when you accepted the appointment?

3.  Hitler, Eeyore, William Wallace, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Jesus, you  Leaders are going somewhere  Where are you going?  What are you about?  Do you have a direction or not?

4.  If you cannot do this, then your leadership will not be positive  No one can make you a leader  The bishop can appoint you, but he cannot make you someone’s pastor

5.  Diploma, robe, cross, bumper sticker – none of this makes you their pastor.  people will tell you when you are their pastor or friend  You can be hired for a job, that is supposed to lead, but you will never be someone's leader until they trust you

6.  Clarity – What are you about? Set the example – they will only follow what they see you model (giving, church work days)  Humility – Its not about me, its about the mission People can smell false humility Get yourself out of the way The need for attention is a sign of insecurity The story of the bankwalkers

7.  Caring – Bring them along with you  Collaboration Build the team. Right people in the right seats on the bus. Look them in the eye If you don’t know how, learn how

8.  Trust is gained through Vision Where are we going? Leaders see the unseen, the invisible Vision is no longer a business plan- Callahan's book Vision is using the resources and opportunities of today to make the right choices for tomorrow’s successes

9.  Success Don’t shoot yourself in the foot. A pastor stood up to say that he did not want to be appointed to a church Don’t drop the ball- complete circle Build a track record of success

10.  Success The reservoir of good will

11.  Leading means moving - which implies change. Trees that have to be moved. Policies that have to change. Everything in life changes.  The potential for change in a large organization. Need for change in a dying organization  Alice Mann’s elevator story

12.  From Managing Transitions by Wm Bridges Three stages of change Leave the Old The Neutral Zone Embracing the New

13.  Leaders help people be comfortable in the neutral zone  Leaders also understand chaos and are not afraid of it  Sometimes we want to control things – some things are beyond our control

14.  Leaders expect the pain of change  Leaders expect resistance  Leaders rise from their moments of pain  Leaders win over resistance Limit resistance thru communication Apologize when you are wrong The cup of coffee

15.  Limit resistance thru pacing change and regulating pain- building campaigns  Leaders heal wounds – leaders don’t cause pain, they bear it. calm to the storm  Richardson’s electrical lines  “a wise man makes even his enemies to be at peace with him”

16.  A sign of mature spirituality is to be able to accept the presentation of those who do not agree.  The real golden age of any organization is not its heyday. It is the hard work behind the scenes that made the heyday possible.

17.  Leaders open themselves for criticism When u get hurt – what do you do? 1. You might hold back- less likely the next time to step out. We are artists is k-garten 2. We start making lists-labels…. They hurt me because they are _________. We protect ourselves by shutting off people that we think might hurt us 3. Revenge- sometimes w hurt back

18.  Leaders have to learn to forgive Not just student s of forgiving, you have to get really good at it  Forgiveness means refusing to make them pay for what they did  To refrain from lashing out at someone when you want to do it with all of your being is a form of agony

19.  In forgiveness, you are absorbing the debt. Taking the cost of it completely on yourself.  You completely absorb the pain instead of lashing out at the other person. It feels like a kind of death - a kind of suffering

20.  Parker Palmer “The cross says, the pain stops here.” The cross is a way of absorbing pain, not passing it on. “Father forgive them, they don’t know what…”  The way of the cross is a way that transforms pain from destructive impulse into creative constructive transforming power

21.  You see, you are a leader, you do have great power  When Jesus accepted the cross, his death opened up a channel for the redeeming power of love.  This pattern unleashes amazing power in this world- and you get to play.

22.  Identify successful mid-level managers and lieutenants.  Let go- so that they can do it.  Moses Father in law – Jethro Ex 18 - you cant do it alone

23.  Let their light shine…mentor and deploy.  Then you spend your time doing what only you can do. What you need to do.  Using your AA’s

24.  They invite people to see in themselves what the leader sees  Gifts night in disciple Bible Study  Leaders give them a chance to further their potential by asking- What are your dreams? Where do you want to go?

25.  Leaders take responsibility, give credit

26.  What is your passion?  Bill Hybels book – “Holy Discontent”  Permission giving at WCC the three questions  What is on your heart – go do it

27.  Learn to be a problem solver  Learn what you do not know  Be willing to remake yourself  What are you reading? Who are you? Who are you becoming?