2. Essential to any successful relationship – God communicates to us through His Son, Heb 1:1-2; Acts 20:32 – Children of God communicate with their heavenly Father in prayer, Matt 6:9 – Parents and children must communicate, Eph 6:4 – Husbands and wives must communicate to strengthen their marriages, Eph 5:33 2

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4.  Begin taking each other for granted – Love does not assume or take for granted; it cherishes and delights in the one it loves, cf. SS 2:3; 3:1-4 – World says “familiarity breeds contempt” – God says get familiar and stay that way! Gen 2:21-23 (18) 4

5.  They want to avoid a confrontation – Past conflict can prevent present communication, Prov 21:9, 19 – We convince ourselves of failure before we really try… Negative: “It won’t do any good anyway!” Speaking with grace (seasoned with salt) is good, Col 4:6 5

6. Break the cycle of conflict, silence and avoidance – Soft answer, Prov 15:1-2 – Stop and start, Prov 20:3; Matt 5:23-24 – Commit to listening, Jas 1:19 – Remove anger, Prov 15:18 (29:22) – Always think the best, 1 Cor 13:5 6 Conflict Silence Avoid TOPIC

7.  They are obsessed with their own interests, 1 Cor 13:5 – Sin of selfishness (no self-control), 2 Tim 3:3; Gal 5:23; Phil 2:4 How we spend our time and money, and where we put our interest equates to what we value and where we put our devotion Careful of priorities, Lk 12:15; Matt 16:26 7

8.  They are obsessed with their own interests, 1 Cor 13:5 – Husband whose first concern is his own satisfaction is not following Christ, Eph 5:25 (1 Tim 5:8) – Wife whose first concern is her own pleasure is not following Christ, Eph 5:22, 24 (Prov 31:27) 8

9.  They are obsessed with their own interests, 1 Cor 13:5 – SOLUTION: A concerted effort to be interested in what interests your spouse, Eccl 4:9-12 You may (probably do) have different interests…but still do things together! Nurture your common faith, common love, common hopes, common devotion 9

10.  They think they are being manipulated by the other, Eph 5:33 Why does a husband feel manipulated? Maybe because he is! Silenced by a domineering wife, 1 Pet 3:3-6 Maybe he is not leading firmly, decisively and consistently, 1 Pet 3:6 10

11.  They think they are being manipulated by the other, Eph 5:33 Why does a wife feel manipulated? Maybe because she is by a husband who only shows interest in her when he wants something for himself! 1 Pet 3:7 Leads to resentment, mistrust and animosity Communication is sharing – not controlling, Rom 12:10 11

12.  They think they are too busy, Eph 5:16 Communication requires a time commitment “No time” can become excuse for closed hearts We take time to play, watch TV, video game, ride a bike, read a book, computer, etc. Must make time to attend to our marriages Don’t be a Martha! Lk 10:38-42 12

13.  They don’t want to hurt the other person, Prov 27:5-6, 17; 28:23 Do you want to help your spouse? Are you willing to accept help from your spouse – even when it exposes your shortcoming (or even sin)? Humble hearts are required to give and to receive rebuke, correction, etc. Rom 12:16 13

14.  They don’t want to hurt the other person, Prov 27:5-6, 17; 28:23 SOLUTION: We must help each other know that we always have their best interest at heart, Eph 5:26-27 GOAL: Strengthen each other and help one another serve Jesus Christ and go to heaven! 14

15.  Marriage without communication is like a car without fuel…  Won’t go far …sputter and die!  Rom 12:9-13, 16: Build Marriage…  Sincerity and goodness (9)  Kind affection and honoring preference (10)  Diligent service (11)  Joyful hope, patient steadfastness & prayer (12)  Sympathetic giving and unity of mind (13, 16) 15