1. E7+M7-Intro, E051 PE-course Project Organised Learning (POL) Mm 6: Conflict Handling Master of Science – Introductory Semester (E7 + M7 – Intro) Lecturer: Lars Peter Jensen Ass. teacher: Xiangyun Du

2. E7+M7-Intro, E052 Project Organized Learning (POL) 6: Conflict Handling Agenda: 1.Lecture 1: On conflicts 2.Role play about conflicts 3.Lecture 2: Preventing conflicts 4.Role play on creative problem solving 5.Lecture 3: Conflict behaviour and conflict solving

3. E7+M7-Intro, E053 Project Organized Learning (POL) 6: Conflict Handling My goals for your learning After this lesson you should be able to: Describe and explain simple ways of preventing conflicts Explain different behaviour in a conflict situation Describe and explain simple ways of solving a conflict

4. E7+M7-Intro, E054 Conflicts – WHAT? WHY? HOW? WHAT? Behaviour exhibited by one (or more) person(s) which bothers another (or other) person(s) and/or prevents them from doing something they would like to do. WHY? Disagreement, “bad chemistry”, fight about power, lack of respect, cultural insensitivity e.g.. HOW? It is easy to start a conflict – but it might be hard to solve it satisfactorily!.

5. E7+M7-Intro, E055 Role Play about conflicts The six roles: –The speaker –The listener –The active listener –The interrupting person –The shy or not participating person –The observer

6. E7+M7-Intro, E056 The roles The speaker You have to speak for approximately 5 minutes about a topic of interest to you – it can be your hobby, a holiday or an experience you have had – most important is that you are engaged. You have to try to make the other group members understand what you are talking about. The listener You listen to the speaker and express interest for the topic via your body language (nodding, varied facial expression, leaning forward etc.) and by asking small open-ended questions, encouraging the speaker to continue talking. The active listener You listen to the speaker and express interest for understanding the topic by listening both to the words and to the feelings underlying the words. You repeat sentences in your own words and try to explain and interpret what you hear. Be aware that your body language also expresses interest.

7. E7+M7-Intro, E057 The roles The interrupting person Your role is to try to interrupt the speaker several times and speak about something different. Your body language expresses a slight lack of interest, because you would rather speak about something else. The shy or not participating person You behave as if you don’t want to participate in the discussion. You either just sit there or play with the computer, talk in your mobile, look out through the window. Your body language expresses no interest or understanding. The observer Your most important role is to keep an eye on time and not let the speaker speak for more than 5 minutes. Further, you observe the communication in the group and note down your impression afterwards.

8. E7+M7-Intro, E058 Role Play about conflicts After playing different roles (app. 2 – 4 plays) you discuss: Your immediate feelings and reactions concerning the different roles. To which extent can you recognize some of the roles from your discussions in the group ? To which extent can you learn something from the role plays that could be useful in your future discussions in the group ?

9. E7+M7-Intro, E059 Role Play (Plenary discussion and a break)

10. E7+M7-Intro, E0510 Lecture 2: Preventing Conflicts 1.Preventing conflicts 2.Dialogue versus discussion 3.Reflexive writing and marking rounds 4.The ’Hot chair’ 5.’I’ – messages

11. E7+M7-Intro, E0511 Preventing Conflicts ”Prevention is better than cure” - also when it concerns conflicts in a group!! ”Remember that the sooner a conflict is identified and handled, the less dramatic it is. Prevention of conflicts builds on mutual understanding and respect for diversity.

12. E7+M7-Intro, E0512 Preventing Conflicts Conflicts are best prevented by: Knowing and understanding expectations, opinions and feelings - your own as well as those of others (dialogue, I-messages) Agreeing on rules, roles and relations in the group, (co-operation agreement) Evaluating your group co-operation regularly (’hot chair’, team health profile).

13. E7+M7-Intro, E0513 Dialog versus diskussion Dialogue and Discussion Dialogue is an expansive process - your knowledge is increased. How is the ’mind map of the world’ for the others?? Discussion is a narrowing process - you agree on a collective ’mind map of the world’

14. E7+M7-Intro, E0514 Dialogue The objective is to understand what others understand – understand their ’mind map of the world’ The means are: listening – passively and actively. The characteristics are: to be curios; open minded; eager to learn. Cultural sensitivity requires dialogue !!

15. E7+M7-Intro, E0515 Passive Listening Builds on the ability to: Be silent Express acknowledgement Invite others to go into details using encouraging words: ”Yes”,”No”,”I see”,”Hmmm” and openers: ”Tell more”, ”How would you” etc.

16. E7+M7-Intro, E0516 Aktiv lytning Active Listening CodingDecoding

17. E7+M7-Intro, E0517 Active Listening Builds on the ability to: ’Mirror’, (repeat with your own words) what the other person says Communicate on the other person’s premises Show understanding and respect for the other persons opinion Interpret – not judge or condemn.

18. E7+M7-Intro, E0518 Body language of a listener Has eye contact Has an open posture Is leaning slightly forward Nods at intervals Is conscious of own and receiver’s body language A listening person:

19. E7+M7-Intro, E0519 Discussion The objective is to agree upon a decision – a common ’mind map of the world’ The means are: shift between listening, reflecting, developing ideas and speaking The characteristics are: holistic judgements (see it as a whole) and reasonable decisions

20. E7+M7-Intro, E0520 When you have to make a decision… Split up your discussion into 4 phases: 1.Making suggestions – ’drawing different maps’. 2.Elaborating, explaining – ’understanding the maps’. 3.Developing further, comprehensive assessment – ’heading for a better map’. 4.Deciding – ’drawing the (best) collective map’ Phase 1 – 2 is the dialogue. Phase 3 – 4 is the discussion.

21. E7+M7-Intro, E0521 Reflexive writing and ‘marking rounds’ Can be used before, during and after a decision-making process: Five minutes ’time-out’, where All speaking in the group is forbidden and Each student spontaneously writes down his or her thoughts about the form of the discussion and the issues discussed at the moment After 5 minutes take a ‘marking round’ where everyone explains their thoughts

22. E7+M7-Intro, E0522 Reflexive writing and ‘marking rounds’..are good tools in team work because they: Give those who have ’dropped out’ of the discussion a possibility to come back in. Give everybody a possibility to put forward their views and opinions. Make the communication process open and visible because of the writing. GOOD ADVICE: Let the less speaking student start!!

23. E7+M7-Intro, E0523 Evaluating personal relations: The ’Hot chair’ Every 2-3 weeks group members evaluate each other one at a time according to the following rules: The person in the ‘hot chair’ is not allowed to comment, she/he is supposed to listen to the constructive and loyal criticism of other group members All the others have to give positive and negative feedback e.g. Two things they like about the person’s behaviour within the group, and two things they don't like

24. E7+M7-Intro, E0524 Evaluating personal relations: The ’Hot chair’ Feedback must: Describe behaviour – not interpret motives Express your own feelings directly – not indirectly Be specific – not general Only address issues which can be changed Make room for change Be non-judgmental Only be given when asked for/agreed upon – not uninvited Be motivated by a wish to help others – not to hurt

25. E7+M7-Intro, E0525 A good advice to remember !! Be towards others as you wish them to be towards you!!

26. E7+M7-Intro, E0526 ’I’-messages The ’I’-message is a clear, unambiguous and honest message about your thoughts and feelings You can share your thought and feelings with others but they cannot deny them or say that they are ’wrong’

27. E7+M7-Intro, E0527 How to use ’I’-messages to tell others about something you don’t like PhaseExample Start (state the factual behaviour) ”You didn’t tell me that the meeting was cancelled. Consequence (describe the consequence of this behaviour for you) So I have wasted my time coming here. Feeling (describe how you feel about this) This makes me angry and I feel that you disrespect me and my job. Alternative (point out another way to behave) If you had notified my secretary she could have notified me.”

28. E7+M7-Intro, E0528 Break for 15 minutes Deadline is deadline !

29. E7+M7-Intro, E0529 Creative conflict solving A conflict is identified and everyone in the group can see the problem It may be better to create a NEW solution together rather than to quarrel about which one to chose With the new solution everyone wins something, but at the same time you also have to let go of something

30. E7+M7-Intro, E0530 Creative conflict solving In a trade-off discussion people often go for win/lose solutions To go for win/win solutions you can try a special negotiation game called Movement Making a Movement is a game you are playing so you should have fun while doing it

31. E7+M7-Intro, E0531 Movement – the rules When someone makes a suggestion you are not allowed to question it or criticize it You are only allowed to say YES AND … to spontaneously follow up the idea Movement is playing with ideas and the ideas are allowed to ‘live their own life’ and therefore they develop The wilder an idea the better Even though you don’t like an idea, following up on it might end with a brilliant idea later on that might lead to a new solution to the conflict

32. E7+M7-Intro, E0532 Movement - afterwards When running out of ideas the Movement stops You can now look at the conflict with new eyes One of the wild ideas may be transformed into a new solution that everyone thinks is good This way you have solved the conflict and created a win/win solution for all

33. E7+M7-Intro, E0533 Movement – try it Playing a role play in mixed groups will demonstrate how Movement can be used to conflict solving. Each group selects two persons to play person A and B who has some disagreement that now has turned into an open conflict. The rest of the group has no direct part in the conflict, but it influences the group’s work. Now use the rules of Movement to create new ideas to help A and B settle their disagreement. All of the group should participate and have fun and create wild ideas, so A and B should try not to focus their mind on the disagreement for a while. Afterwards the group try to find a solution to the conflict based on the ideas from the movement.

34. E7+M7-Intro, E0534 A: Ambitious person Person A: is ambitious and using a lot of time on the project is working with the project most evenings and weekends does a lot of work and expects others to do the same wants to learn as much as possible and is very career-minded is very co-operative dislikes people being late or not delivering on time.

35. E7+M7-Intro, E0535 B: relaxed person Person B: seems more focused on having a good time than on studying hard is often late in the morning because there has been a party the night before is sometimes late in delivering his tasks in the project is funny and wants to socialize with both the group and others is well liked in the group and co-operative has very good technical skills in the area of the project and is brilliant in math

36. E7+M7-Intro, E0536 Conflict to solve A has long been unsatisfied about B being late and not delivering on time. The group has a code of conduct stating that everyone arrive at 8.15 and deliver working tasks on time. A is now suggesting that B starts following the code of conduct or he shall be expelled from the group. B thinks that social life is also important and that the code of conduct shouldn’t be followed strictly. The rest of the group feels that both A and B contribute to the project and both are important for both the work and the good spirit so they want to find a new code of conduct that can be accepted and followed by all in the group.

37. E7+M7-Intro, E0537 Lecture 3: Conflict behaviour and conflict solving 1.How to spot a conflict 2.Personal conflict behaviour 3.Conflict solving 4.Consequences of conflicts

38. E7+M7-Intro, E0538 How to spot a conflict Very loud discussion in stead of dialogue – nobody is trying to understand each other Very long arguing but no decisions Goes ‘for the man’ not ’for the ball’ Postulate in stead of reasoning Formation of cliques Talk about people behind their backs REMEMBER: Deal with conflicts, the sooner the better !!!

39. E7+M7-Intro, E0539 Personal conflict behavior Goal Relations Important Not importantImportant Accommodating - smooth things out Collaborating ForcingAvoiding Compromising

40. E7+M7-Intro, E0540 Personal conflict behaviour ProfileCharacteristic individual behaviour Avoidance ’drawing’ Avoid, deny, ignore, turn away. Accommodating ’smooth things out’ Forthcoming, abandon personal goals, relations to others is more important. Win/loose ‘forcing’ Dominating, aggressive, want to win, demonstrates power. Compromising ’do compromises’ All shall gain something – there is different ways to do things, compromises. Collaborating ’confronting’ Acceptance of conflicts. Everybody's needs are legitimate and important. Respect for personal relations. Make allowances

41. E7+M7-Intro, E0541 One way to solve a conflict Those involved in the conflict state their point of view, one at a time. A mediator sums up the main issues in the conflict. The mediator and the persons involved try to uncover underlying reasons for the conflict. Everyone participates in the development of possible solutions. The group agrees upon trying one of the solutions and the mediator writes down the agreement. Everyone evaluates the process and states whether they are satisfied with the solution.

42. E7+M7-Intro, E0542 Another way to solve a conflict  Those involved in the conflict tell How they have experienced the situation How they have contributed to creating the problem How they can contribute to a solution  Mediator and persons involved participate in the development of possible solutions.  The group agrees upon trying one of the solutions and the mediator writes down the agreement. Everyone evaluates the process and states whether they are satisfied with the solution.

43. E7+M7-Intro, E0543 Conflict solving – think about PhaseAgenda ProblemWhat’s the reason for the conflict GoalA ’win/win’-solution Confrontation’I’ messages Active listening Understanding others’ ”mind map of the world” Solutions As many as possible to increase creative solutions Judgement and choice Consensus or compromise AgreementWho is going to do what ? EvaluatingWhat did WE learn ?

44. E7+M7-Intro, E0544 Conflicts – negative or positive ? A conflict can be destructive, but it can also bring forward different sides of a case Enhance creativity and stimulate learning. Also, a satisfactorily solved conflict is likely to Create better co-operation, more trust and deeper friendships, and Improve the ability to handle conflicts in the future – both in the group and in a later job situation. It is not the conflict itself, but the lack of ability and will to solve it, that creates problems.

45. E7+M7-Intro, E0545 Remember: Conflicts arises !!! It is your choice whether they shall lead to positive or negative results. It depends upon whether your mental frame is positive or negative ! What do you read here? OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE

46. E7+M7-Intro, E0546..and this was it for today!!