1. Abuse, Bullying, Stress and Teens; Sensitivity and Satisfaction; plus Whole Organization and Whole Community Programs? and/or Small Group Ministry Programs Tom DeLoughry, Ed.D. © Center for Health Management, 2014 - www.BeingYourBest.org May be used, copied or modified without permission by churches in the Upper New York Conference of the United Methodist Church www.NeverTooOld.net or the Upstate New York Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America www.NEFOSA.org All others must seek permission from the Center for Health Management.

2. Pray First

3. Can a few factors solve many problems? Is good nutrition and regular exercise only good for teens? ….adults? ….seniors? Does good nutrition only help obesity? …heart disease? …diabetes? Is good communication only useful for emotional problems? …family problems? …worksite problems? Is stress management only helpful at work? …or school? …or home? Does prayer only help with spiritual problems? …relationship problems? …health problems?

4. These “few factors” are used with three generations and many problems in Living Well Plus the principles of Covenant Discipleship are used for motivation and to strengthen or create small-group ministries: watching over each other in love to support acts of Devotion, worship, compassion, justice and forgiveness

5. The Living Well Flyer summarizes our goals and methods

6. Action Guides with a Teen Focus

7. Stories for teens Like Getting Stoned A true story about the teen who taught me to teach I Don’t Want to Talk About it! Cindy doesn’t know what to do when her daughter is raped on a date Because of All the Pictures When a volunteer comes, Bernice wonders: "Why would a young man like you spend the middle of a busy day delivering meals to an old lady like me?"

9. What might you say to make it worse? What might you say to help?

10. Abuse thrives and fear and silence. Is this true for all types of abuse? …sexual abuse? …elder abuse?

11. You Can Help!

12. Help for child abuse, domestic abuse, elder abuse, sexual abuse and rape

13. Awareness - Use “focusing” to direct your attention to whatever is most helpful Affirmations - Remember and share the good things about yourself, and your life. Assert - Speak up and tell your friends, family, teachers and others (even the bullies) what you think, want or feel Accept - This doesn’t mean you give up on making a bad situation better. Instead, it means not dwelling on a problem. Or, maybe, even forgiving someone for his or her bad behavior.

15. Use Four Steps to Living Well to deal with bullying, abuse and other problems Start solving your puzzle Start making your plan Use four steps to stop stress Use help when you can

16. Community Partnerships Create collaborations to reach out to the spiritually independent, spiritually passive and the lonely Other faith communities Professionals providing medical, emotional and social services Senior Centers Assisted Living Nursing Homes Home delivered meals

17. Action Guides for Community Organizations and Faith Communities For Senior Centers, Worksites and Schools Sensitivity and Satisfaction Stop Stress Teen and secular versions Eliminate Abuse Stop Bullying Healing, Hope and Hospitals For churches plus families of senior members Stop Stress and See! Pray Find More Love End of Life, the Law and New Beginnings

22. Organizations, Groups, Conversations and Lectures can influence thoughts and actions Belief you are facing a serious problem More discussion and awareness of consequences through shared stories Belief in the benefits Helps three generations with any Mind-Body-Spirit issues in any setting Perceived barriers Reduces stigma associated with admission of problems and /or attempts to change Reduces confusion and dead-ends from problem-solving in “silos” Belief in your own ability Positive example from respected peers improves self-efficacy Readiness to change Nudges people toward change Support From three generations, peers and God Cues or Reminders Informal discussions and free posters provide frequent reminder Adapted from Session 3: Coaching Conversations

23. Edit this draft to launch Living Well at your church

24. Edit this proposal to launch Living Well at your community organizations

25. Prior Inter-generational / Multi-problem Programs The Love Skills - (Buffalo Children’s Hospital) Story: Like Getting Stoned - Adolescent Psychiatry and Drug Abuse Services Managing Stress / Occupational Stress (American Lung Association) Component of ALA’s national program for COPD Honored with National Award for Excellence from the American Occupational Health Nurses Association Feeling Fit at Work and School (Independent Health managed care) 40+ school district and 100+ worksites Feeling Fit With Diabetes and Hypertension National Excellence Award in Quality Improvement Being Your Best / The Golden Rule (Niagara County Office for Aging) AARP’s Social Impact Award as a “simple mind-body-spirit program for grandparents, parents and teens of any faith or no faith Upper New York Conference of the United Methodist Church Fall – 2012 One hour workshop at CCYM workshops Summer - 2013 – Teens as Teachers – half day CCYM

26. …Now what?