1. Why Life Sucks Welcome to… The Return of… In Association with Nothing
By Kat-nip Aspartame Kitty-Sprite Twin
(A.K.A. Kat)

2. The Returning Crew- and The newbies
Maricarmen Senosian
Brianna Wippel
Michael Padon
Adam Linder
And Brad, the InvestiGAYtor
(The Gay Guy)
John Merrill
Emily Bourdreaux
Katheranne Hanley
Katherine Jordan
Catherine Flores
Alejandra Narvaez
Rebecca Werner
Lauren Thomas

3. Quotes (Originals and otherwise)
I’ll try anything once- Michael Padon after being asked if he would steal a potato
F&^% you-Katherine Jordan after being asked “What is your name?” from Monty Python
Mom's got this etiquette thing about it being impolite to invite too many guys. "Stuff" happens, just “stuff” ...like losing your belt in your friend's couch- my to Katherine
It was a possuuuuuuuum! –John
Who put water in my water bottle? – Michael
Notice: went through my hair. Not over, not around, not at the side, THROUGH! - John

4. Teachers “We’re all gonna die!”
Though many of our teachers are sweet (Many, not all) there are a few that should be honored
Mr. Richardson, for his record of saying “M’kay” 175 times in half an hour
Doesn’t that remind you of the counselor from South Park?
Mr. Westerman… definitely… never had his class, though 
M-O-N-D-A-Y S-U-C-K-S
The best teacher, who sits on his leather couch eating bacon and always saying,
“We’re all gonna die!”
Vote for your favorite teacher(s) for next month’s powerpoint today! (corny, I know)

5. John “And now for something completely different!”
Reminds us of the difference between the moon and a corn muffin
The shake of shame
The smart ingenuity of the table
Monty Python’s Flying Circus will be remembered every time I look at him
“And now for something completely different!”
HAH! You KNEW that was coming!

6. Emily
Walks around “like a chicken with its head cut off” or simply walks around aimlessly after school. Thanks, Brianna
She’s my TWIN! We’re fifteen! She reminded me that’s half-way to thirty… … yeah…and ten’s half-way to twenty. Tell you’re brother that, twin.
Anyway, she’s got a better voice than me. She’s in choir!
Mrs. Mendoza mistook me for her once…
Who knew vocal performance had guys?
Let’s sing Courage the Cowardly Dog!
La la la, la la la la…

7. Katherine
“you know me, or i hope you know me so if you really know me, you'd know you don't know me”
Basically, this statement is true. So, whatever…yeah…
Fav thing to do: 1)Come home wet from a concert and tell us about the sweat fat guy who sat in front of her and John
2) Lose her belt at a friend’s house
3)Play with the band, listen to her brother’s band, or watch “Rock & Roll High school”
4) Zone out in the corner of the hallway

8. Catherine Not much to say here Still hates Latin and English
Still has Lusby and Zoch
Still called “shorty”
Still our best voice of reason (but like we really need that anymore)
But I found out something new about her
She likes country! And so does her twin!
Ale’s her twin
Smashes her pb&j sandwiches
She got a container for her sandwiches
Obsessive compulsive tortilla sandwich person
Dreams to become a pilot (in military)

9. Alejandra
Born the day after Christmas (she was a present under the tree!)
Nickname: Ale, JM lover, (fill in the blank yourself)
Catherine’s twin
Listens to country, Backstreet Boys, N’sync, and a few unmentionables that other rap-lovin’ people wouldn’t appreciate mentioning
Ale’s cool! She like the same stuff as me
Cries during every movie: Shrek, Shrek 2, Purple Rain, Barney goes to Jail*, Barney on Death Row*, South Park the Movie**…
Loves John Mayer
NOT “LIKES”! LOVES! 
Identifying quote:
“I love my twin and her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!”
And
“It’s a penis!”
*=these movies do not exist
** I was exaggerating

10. Rebecca Poetry club participant ……..can’t think of anything…..
AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
I’m so sorry! I just can’t think of anything! I’m so so so very sorry, Becca! (cries)
Wait! She’s a great dancer! She’s kinda the motherly figure, but she’s really cool!
Don’t get her angry. That’s asking for a neck brace.
We care Becca. We really do. Anyone have some sandals she can borrow?
And Adam’s her closest friend.
Good luck with surgery Friday.
Sorry if this didn’t have enough stuff. I tried.

11. Lauren Agreeable things that suck:
The online chemistry homework that’s slow and crappy, like the rest of our computer stuff
Stupid classmates, especially some of those who dope up on helium until their high squeaky voices and permeanently set to sound like Chip and Dale
When nalgene top straps break!
Surgery*
Classmate
Bandages that make me look like an Eskimo
Alejandra’s indentifying phrase: 'it’s a penis!'
*This might not include the time my dad had knee surgery and his coworkers screwed a pink bike horn and pompoms to his crutches. They made him honk the horn whenever he was coming down the hallway, so people would get out of his way. It was funny at the time… -_-

12. Salute to the newbies! The InvestiGAYtor
To Michael: for his new insight in comic relief!
To Maricarmen: For her uncanny funniness
To Brianna: For her amazing likeness to Michael (strange)
To Adam Linder: For his common sense and normality in an otherwise psychotic group of people
And Brad!
Brad’s Spies!
Brad, The PI
Brad Broy (Bad Boy, get it?)
Brad, the Nice Guy
Brad, the Cool Guy
Brad, the guy
He’s Brad…
The
InvestiGAYtor

13. I’m Lazy… Octopus Scares Friend Out of Seat – OSFOOS
The feces of a bat, and the blood of an ox = Batox
Ella Enchanted
I can’t write anymore. This episode will end a TBC

14. MONDAYS! And now… The moment you’ve all been waiting for…
The Theme of the Week…
MONDAYS!

15. If you don’t believe me…
Mondays are Cursed!
(For some of us)
If you don’t believe me…

16. You can… Drop your laptop Unable to unlock your homeroom door
Stop a full block short of your locker
Too cold weather
Can’t remember what you were talking about
Clumsy in speech
Picture strange images
Can’t write or think during class
Your uniform isn’t ready
Homework is written down wrong

17. You’re tortured by your friends’ attempts to cheer you up
You realize that it’s not Tuesday
Every class, you realize it’s still a long way until the end of the day, and suddenly, you’re sitting at the lunch table, and you think it’s not so bad.
Then you go to English…

18. You can’t think right.
You had a lousy weekend
Summer was too fast
You’re brand new assignment book fell apart
Let’s skip skool!
Dang! Dean’s coming
“No, Ma’am. My other personality was just having a field day…What are you, stupid?! I’m not gonna say that to her! I’ll get expelled!”
“What? Oh, no, ma’am! The other voices were just talking to me…um, can I go now? They’re yelling’s giving me a headache.

19. ENDING THEME SONG~! M-O-N-D-A-Y-S-U-C-K-S
Monday Sucks! Monday Sucks! Monday Monday Sucks!
De ja vu, no?
Verse 2
T-U-ES-D-A-Y S-U-C-K-S!
(continue until tired or bored out of you mind)

20. BADGERS!!! BADGERS!!! NOW DIE! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
P.S. I hate Web assign too. It’s so slow and it just kicked me off just before I finished all the questions to submit them. Damn.
BADGERS!!!
NOW DIE!