1. Mr. Kondrk Law and Society
CHAPTER 34 DIVORCE
Mr. Kondrk Law and Society

2. DIVORCE TRENDS:

3. DIVORCE TRENDS
AMERICANS LIKE MARRIAGE: One of highest marriage rates in industrialized world.
AMERICANS DON’T LIKE MARRIAGE: One of the highest divorce rates in world.
AMERICANS LIKE MARRIAGE: One of the highest remarriage rates in the world (1/3 remarry within a year).

4. 50% OF ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKELY TO END IN DIVORCE
By 1974 more marriages ended in divorce than by death.

5. THE RISING PROPORTION OF MARRIAGES THAT WILL END IN DIVORCE

6. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE?
Activity:
Discuss:
1. When people get married today they don’t need to make a commitment because it is so easy to get a divorce.
2. Social scientists are increasingly viewing divorce as one path in the “normal” family life cycle.
3. Is falling out of love an appropriate reason for wanting a divorce? What is?
4. Is divorce the problem or is it a solution to other problems?
5. Death is easier for children to accept than divorce.

7. HOW CAN WE PREVENT DIVORCE?
Make getting out of marriage more difficult? It used to be hard for a reason.
Encourage women to stay home with children so they can’t afford to get out? ( Large contributor to likelihood of divorce.)
Encourage family self sacrifice and less self-fulfillment?
Impose more religious constraints?
Should we re-stigmatize divorce?

8. Case Studies Why do people divorce
Case Studies Why do people divorce? List on board and discuss case studies in groups.
Activity:
CASE #1: Ned worked full-time as a teacher. In order to make ends meet, he also “moonlighted” four nights a week as a chef in a local restaurant. It seemed that no matter how hard he tried to earn enough money, there was always something more the family needed. His wife, Ruth, did not work outside the home, and occupied her time caring for their three children. Ruth felt resentful that Ned did not seem to be able to get all the yard work done and never sat down to read to the children at night. She complained constantly that his work did not pay enough, and told her husband that she wished he had gone into a different line of work that paid more. Ned felt unappreciated and found himself not wanting to come home right after work. He would rather visit with friends who understood him or go fishing.

9. Case #2
Susan had five children under the age of eight. Three were still preschoolers. Her days consisted of doing laundry, cleaning, picking up toys and clothes, taking the children to medical appointments, and cooking meals. She was exhausted at the end of the day, and felt angry when her husband had plans after work and on the weekends with his buddies. She tried not to complain but found herself wondering why all the child care was left up to her. Wasn’t he their father too? She was so tired that she went to bed about 10:00 each night. He husband did not like the fact that she was too tired to spend the evening with him. He felt she should be anxious to talk and relax with him. It seemed that other wives were more responsive and that he deserved better from his wife.

10. Case #3
Chris was thirty-four and had a career as a banker. His wife, Jill, was thirty-six and worked full-time as a newspaper editor. They both had good incomes and earned enough money to travel and buy the things they wanted. Now that Chris was secure in his position at work, he wanted to direct his attention to having a family. He and Jill had decided when they married that they wanted three children and now seemed the best time for them to support children. However, Jill was having second thoughts about having children. Her work demanded her full attention and on weekends she liked to entertain guests and go sailing. The more she thought about children, the more she felt that they would hamper her free time and ability to do what she wanted. She tried to explain her thoughts to Chris but it always ended in an argument. He thought he should have married someone else who would give him children. He wanted a divorce.

11. GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE? Impotency at time of marriage
Adultery committed after the marriage
Desertion of a spouse for more than one year
Failure to provide the common necessities of life
Habitual drunkenness
Conviction of a felony
Mental or physical cruelty that causes bodily injury or great mental distress.
Being legally separated by a court degree for more than three years in a row.
Permanent or incurable insanity, established by competent medical testimony.

12. DEMOGRAPHIC FACTORS AFFECTING DIVORCE:
WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO DIVORCE?
High or low income? Low
Woman has the higher or lower income? Higher
High or low education? Low
More or less religion? Less
Religion? (Jewish, Catholic, Protestant) Protestant
Race? (white, African American or hispanic) African American
Younger or older at time of marriage? Younger
1st or 2nd marriage? second
Parents married or divorced? Divorced

13. FACTORS AFFECTING DIVORCE:
The shift from agriculture to industrialization undermined many of the families traditional functions.
Social integration – the degree of interaction between individuals.
America emphasizes individualism and this can take priority over family.

14. ASPECTS OF LIFE AFFECTING DIVORCE:
Adolescent marriages = twice the likelihood of divorce
Premarital pregnancy does not significantly increase likelihood of divorce.
But it increases if she;
is an adolescent.
drops out of high school.
faces economic problems.

15. PEOPLE WHO MARRY YOUNG ARE MORE LIKELY TO DIVORCE

16. Majority of divorce is caused by idealization of marriage.
THE ACTUAL DAY-TO-DAY FAMILY PROCESSES MAY BE THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR
In descending order:
Personality problems
Home life
Authoritarianism
Differing values
Majority of divorce is caused by idealization of marriage.
Must realize marriage is like LIFE – it is a lifelong commitment involving considerable sacrifice. It is hard and has many problems.

17. PUBLIC OPINION FAVORS ENDING UNHAPPY MARRIAGES

18. ATTITUDES ABOUT DIVORCE
Activity:
Positive/negative feelings. What were you taught growing up about the acceptability of divorce? How did this influence your perceptions of appropriate reasons to divorce? Draw an imaginary line across the room with one side being positive feelings and the other being negative. Stand on the line according to how you feel about these issues:
Staying married for the sake of the children
Impact of divorce on children
Single parenting
Children living between two households
Child support
Alimony
Remarriage
Being a stepmother/stepfather

19. COVENANT MARRIAGE Requires pre-marital counseling.
Couples agree to pledge, renew, deepen vows and improve marriage.
Couples agree not to leave marriage before counseling unless there is infidelity, abuse desertion, addictions, abandonment or criminal activity.
Couples agree to seek counseling and have a waiting period prior to divorce.
Couples need to disclose before the marriage anything in their past that could ruin the union.

20. DIVORCE PROCESS: Not a single event but a complex process
Do you see a judge?
Do you go to trial?
Attorneys never work to reconcile a divorcing couple – catalyst for adversary
90% NO CONTEST No Fault Divorce (irreconcilable differences, neither party responsible)
Cost?

21. DIVORCE PROCESS (continued)
Emotional Divorce: one spouse disengages
Legal Divorce: court ordered
Economic Divorce: property settlement
Co-parental Divorce: Marriage ends but parenting does not
5. Community Divorce: In-law become ex-laws, friends take sides
6. Psychic Divorce (Most Difficult): Former spouse becomes irrelevant to you
Question:
Why do 1 out of 2 women live below the poverty level?

22. MARITAL SEPARATION
= A more crucial event than the divorce
1. SEPARATION DISTRESS: Situational anxiety caused by separation from an attachment figure.
2nd only to death of a spouse
All attentions are centered on spouse with feelings of anxiety & fear
Sometimes immediate effect of separation is euphoria, but usually slips into separation anxiety
Slowly gives way to loneliness

23. MARITAL SEPARATION (continued)
2. UNCOUPLING: a quiet detachment of one of the spouses
When does the last stage of uncoupling really happen? At the announcement, the physical separation, or knowing the relationship cannot be saved?
Question:
3. NEW SELF: Post-divorce identity has two stage: The transition period with separation distress and loneliness and the recovery period with stable life and less emotional.

24. DATING AGAIN: Statement to community
Opportunity for building self esteem
Initiates into single subculture
No relevance between dating and happiness as a single

25. DATING IS DIFFERENT FROM PREMARITAL DATING
Is not leisurely
Less spontaneous
Finances may be strained
Sexual ethic may change

26. CONSEQUENCES OF DIVORCE
Most divorces are uncontested and settled out of court

27. NO FAULT DIVORCE Question:
All 50 states have adopted “No Fault Divorce”
No one is guilty
No adversary process
Settlements are based on equity and need
Promotes gender equality
Question:
Who might be at a disadvantage due to “No Fault Divorce”?

28. RESULTS OF NO FAULT DIVORCE:
Divorcing women are impoverished
27% decline in income for women
10% decline for men (1/2 the income to live on)
What are some causes of women being on the verge of financial disaster at the time of divorce? Why does the man’s financial status improve?
Question:

29. ALIMONY Trump to Avana = $60,000/month Alimony in only 15% of divorces
Investment Doctrine: Medical education support entitled to future income and retirement
Trump to Avana = $60,000/month

30. CHILD SUPPORT 60% of divorces involve children.
90% of moms get custody. Why?
Children rarely see divorce
as the opportunity parent
may see it but if abuse
stops it is a relief.

31. 3 STAGES OF DIVORCE FOR CHILDREN:
THE INITIAL STAGE = high stress, escalated conflict, unhappiness
THE TRANSITIONAL STAGE = economic and social restructuring of the family
RE-STABILIZATION STAGE = establishment of post divorce family

32. 6 DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS CHILDREN NEED TO UNDERTAKE WHEN PARENTS DIVORCE
Acknowledging parental separation
Disengaging from parental conflicts
Resolution of the loss of the familiar parental relationship & everyday routines
Resolution of anger and self blame
Accepting the finality of divorce
Achieving realistic expectations for later relationship success

33. CHILDREN AND DIVORCE Activity: Discuss in groups
Who deals better? Young or older children? Boys or girls?
Do they feel guilt, anger, blame? How about teens?
How to tell and how to answer questions?
What are some things that are important for the children to know about the divorce?
What are some things that the children should not know about the divorce?
How to help them adjust? Communicate, continued involvement, lack of hostility and stable living conditions.

34. IMPACT OF DIVORCES ON CHILDREN
Divorce will not have the same effect on all children but generally what effect does divorce have on:
Self concept?
School performance?
Peer relationships
Dating and marriage?

35. EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON AGE OF CHILD
PRESCHOOLERS: Fear of abandonment, sleep disturbances
YOUNG CHILDHOOD: Fear of being displaced and grief, school difficulties, fear for well-being of absent parent
OLDER CHILDREN: Acting out, fight with parent, spying for other parent
ADOLESCENCE: Fear of own relationship failure, independence, promiscuous-type behavior could increase
Taken for “Children and Divorce by Dr. Judith S. Wallerstein

36. CHILD CUSTODY
SOLE: Child lives with one parent who has sole responsibility for physically raising child and making all decisions.
JOINT LEGAL: Child lives primarily with one parent but both share in decisions.
JOINT PHYSICAL: Child lives with both parents, splitting time equally.
SPLIT CUSTODY: Splits the children of a couple between parents, girls to mother, boys to father usually.
JOINT: Parents share legal rights and responsibilities (10% of cases).

37. NONCUSTODIAL PARENTS:
Often have disruption or disappearance of parenting role during divorce.
Children tend to have little contact with the nonresident parent which weakens the bonds of affection.

38. CUSTODIAL DISPUTES AND CHILD STEALING
As many as 1/3 of all post-divorce legal cases involve children.
About 350,000 children are abducted each year by family members in child custody disputes.

39. DIVORCE MEDIATION:
Mediator attempts to assist divorcing couples in resolving personal, legal and parenting issues in a cooperative manner.
Mediators are generally professionals with family therapy backgrounds.
Encourage shared custody.
Encourage development of communication skills.
It is not a panacea for difficult divorces.
Husbands who feel good about it are more willing to pay child support.

40. VOCABULARY
1. Alimony: Court ordered monetary support to a spouse or former spouse following separation or divorce.
2. Covenant Marriage: A new anti-divorce reform of legal marriage in which couples acknowledge the life-long nature of their marital commitment. It includes pre-marital counseling, and marital counseling if needed & only divorce under extreme hardships via a fault-based divorce.
3. Divorce Mediation: The process in which a mediator assists a divorcing couple in resolving personal, legal, and parenting concerns in a cooperative manner.

41. VOCABULARY cont’d
4. Joint Custody: Custody arrangement in which both parents are responsible for the care of the child.
5. Joint Legal Custody: Child lives primarily with one parent but both parents jointly share in important decisions regarding the child’s education, religious training, and general upbringing.
6. Joint Physical Custody: Child lives with both parents in separate households and spends more or less equal time with each parent.