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English 105, Meeting 4 Adopted from Teri Tosspon
Ms. Oliver, Heald College Powerpoint Templates
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Meeting 4 Review: Commas/ Capitalization, Thesis Intros/Conclusions
New material: Run on Sentences Body Paragraphs Compare/Contrast
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Futbol del Oliver– or some variation thereof
15 minutes to correct the capitalization and punctuation on the handout One team sends a player to the front to draw a #. That player is responsible for answering that question. The ball will move one line forward for each ITEM the player corrects from the handout, IN ORDER If they player misses one, the other team has a chance to “steal” the ball and move it down the field the opposite direction. If they make an error, the original team can steal back Both teams will try to move the ball down the field When a team scores, the ball starts all the way at the other end of the field.
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Combining Sentences Coordinating
1.Use a comma & a coordinating conjunction The speaker rose to his feet, and the room became quiet. 2. Use a semicolon, an adverbial conjunction, and a comma – I worked hard; therefore, I expected results. 3. Use a semicolon I worked hard; I expected results Subordinating 1. Subordinating Conjunctions While he was eating breakfast, the news came on. 2. relative pronoun. (Who, whose, whoever, what, whatever, whichever, when, that…) The researcher who was studying diabetes had a breakthrough. Ask for student input as much as possible.
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Clauses A clause is a group of words with a subject and a verb
You stink. Sally is talking. Most clauses have further information after the verb Subject Verb I love grammar Sally is talking loudly
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Two Types of Clauses Independent clause (Main clause)
Can stand alone as a sentence Can be joined to another clause Fred filled a cardboard tube with gunpowder. Dependent clause (Subordinate clause) Cannot stand alone as a sentence Must be joined to an independent clause Because he wanted to make his own firecrackers. A word that joins clauses is a conjunction
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Joining Clauses A dependent clause can be joined to an independent clause to make a sentence Fred filled a cardboard tube with gunpowder because he wanted to make his own firecrackers. Or Because he wanted to make his own firecrackers, Fred filled a cardboard tube with gunpowder. When the sentence starts with the dependent clause, it must have a comma before the independent clause
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Run-ons Run-ons are independent clauses that have been combined incorrectly. There are several types: The AND run-on The Fused run-on The comma splice We will be going into detail on each one
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The and run on (pg 146) two or more relatively long independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction without any punctuation. Goal 1 AND per sentence (some situations warrant 2) (Because this has no punctuation, we have to read it in one breath.) I met Charlyce in a yoga class at the YWCA and we liked each other immediately and we soon became friends and we often hang out at each other’s houses.
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The Fused run on two or more independent clauses run together without any punctuation. The girls made the fire the boys cooked the steaks.
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The comma splice run-on
The comma splice: two or more independent clauses run together with only a comma. I met Charlyce in a yoga class at the YWCA, we soon became friends. Sounds right? It is actually two separate independent ideas/clauses. We COULD add a ; (semicolon) to make it correct, or we could separate into two sentences.
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Run-ons In the story of Fred, identify what kind of run-on these are!
Fred didn’t throw the firecracker, he placed it between his legs, he wanted to put the lighter away first. Comma splice The fuse burned too quickly before he could throw it the explosive blew up between his legs. Fused
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There are 3 ways to fix Run-Ons
Make into 2 (or more) separate sentences. Make a compound sentence *using the methods of coordination* Make a complex sentence *using the methods of subordination*
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Practice- Packet 1. I'd like to buy a piano, but I really don't have the money right now. 2. She gives wonderful parties, I can't wait for her next one. 3. The people on the park bench who meet every day and eat lunch together. 4. I'm saving money for a trip to Oklahoma my brother lives out there. 5. He was beaming he got an A on the exam. 1. No Change! I'd like to buy a piano, but I really don't have the money right now. 2. Run On! She gives wonderful parties. I can't wait for her next one. 3. Fragment! The people on the park bench who meet every day and eat lunch together. 4. Run on! I'm saving money for a trip to Oklahoma; my brother lives out there. 5. Run on! He was beaming. He got an A on the exam.
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Paragraphs prove your thesis.
Body Paragraphs (p 47) Chpt 3, Turn to pg 50 Think of your essay like a Hamburger …. Mmm Without all of the pieces… it’s just not complete! Introduction/Hook Paragraphs prove your thesis. Your thesis is the MEAT!!! Conclusion
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Each Paragraph has a part to play
Your individual paragraphs are like pieces of pie. Topic sentence Prove your point: Evidence, a story, a quote, data, research Why does this point matter to your topic???
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Topic Sentence (pg 50) Supports the thesis by clearly stating a main point in the discussion Announces what the paragraphs will be about Controls the subject matter of the paragraph Its like an umbrella for the paragraph All of the information in the paragraph should RELATE to the topic sentence The Topic sentence should “prove” or discuss a portion of the thesis!
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Focusing & Placing (pg 53)
Focusing – be specific (read examples pg 53) Placement – usually the first sentence in the body paragraph, but does not HAVE to be (read examples pg 54-55)
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Paragraph Development (59)
Include enough supporting info/evidence to make readers understand the topic sentence Make the information clear and specific Avoid vague generalities and repetitious ideas
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Paragraph Length (pg 62) Long enough to accomplish its purpose and short enough to be interesting. Avoid one- or two-sentence paragraphs Divide long-ish paragraphs at a logical point. Use transitional phrases
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Paragraph Unity Stick to the subject
Unify sentences around a central or main idea- the topic sentence Unify paragraphs around a thesis
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Paragraph Coherence Use a recognizable order Use transitional phrases
Time Space Deductive Inductive Use transitional phrases Use examples, compare/contrast, sequence, results Avoid whiplash – maintain coherence!
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Practice Pg 57, Letter C Add topic sentence to the paragraphs
Not all inventors had it easy in life. Items originally owned by Elvis have increased in value substantially. Most people do not consider writing a real occupation. Just as records are kept for collge football winners, records are kept for college football losers!
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Paragraph Tournament Each person write A Paragraph about that would support the thesis: “Job interviews can lose a job for you, if you’re not ready.” These WILL be read aloud to the class Get peer feedback because You could WIN a homework exemption!
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Paragraph Tournament In groups of 2 discuss whose paragraph is the best. Why? Why should it move on to the next round? Take the “winner” of the partners to a group of 4 people. Discuss whose paragraph should move on to round 3. Take the winner to a group of 8… Etc. We will do this until we arrive at the top 4, then the class will hear each one, vote for the top 2. Hear again and vote! The class winner will earn a 1 HW exemption
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Plagiarism & Citing Sources
Oliver’s English 105 Heald College
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Obvious Plagiarism buying, stealing, or borrowing a paper (including, of course, copying an entire paper or article from the Web); hiring someone to write your paper for you; and copying large sections of text from a source without quotation marks or proper citation.
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Cite It Words or ideas presented in a magazine, book, newspaper, song, TV program, movie, Web page, computer program, letter, advertisement, or any other medium Information you gain through interviewing or conversing with another person, face to face, over the phone, or in writing When you copy the exact words or a unique phrase When you reprint any diagrams, illustrations, charts, pictures, or other visual materials When you reuse or repost any electronically-available media, including images, audio, video, or other media
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DON’T Cite It Writing your own lived experiences, your own observations and insights, your own thoughts, and your own conclusions about a subject When you are writing up your own results obtained through lab or field experiments When you use your own artwork, digital photographs, video, audio, etc. When you are using "common knowledge," things like folklore, common sense observations, myths, urban legends, and historical events (but not historical documents) When you are using generally-accepted facts, e.g., pollution is bad for the environment, including facts that are accepted within particular discourse communities, e.g., in the field of composition studies, "writing is a process" is a generally-accepted fact.
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Best Practices: Research
Reading and Note-Taking Interviewing and Conversing Writing Paraphrases or Summaries Writing Direct Quotations Writing About Another's Ideas Maintaining Drafts of Your Paper
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Must Cite in 2 places: In-text citations Works Cited Page
(also known as ‘parenthetical documentation’) In other words- in parentheses. Your in-text citations work with your bibliography (works cited) page to identify where any quotes or ideas borrowed from another author came from. “References in the text MUST clearly point to specific sources in the list of works cited.” - MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers, 6th ed.
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Works Cited Halio, Jay L., "Elizabethan Age." Grolier Multimedia Encyclopedia. Scholastic Library Publishing, HF-L High School. 1 Apr 2006 < Life in Elizabethan England. Summer Mar 2006 < .net/compendium>. Pressley, J. M. "An Encapsulated Biography." Shakespeare Resource Center, February 10, Mar 2006 < Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet. New York: Scholastic, Inc., Thomas, Heather. The Life in Times of Queen Elizabeth I. 23 Mar Apr 2006 <
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In-text citations: Direct Quote
In the body of the paper, it looks like this: When Mercutio is wounded, he screams “A plague on both your houses!” referring to both the Capulets and the Montagues (Shakespeare 70). The parenthetical notation (Shakespeare 70) identifies where the quote came from and refers to your bibliography page for further publication information Works Cited Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet. New York: Scholastic, Inc., 1969.
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Direct Quotes Direct quotation: Paraphrase with in-text citation:
Educators are cautioned that “…labels tend to stick, and few people go back later to document a shifting profile of intelligences” (Gardner 139). Paraphrase with in-text citation: Gardner explains that there are difficulties in labeling children with a type of intelligence, including the problem that labels may last, while the assessment may change (139).
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How to Paraphrase Paraphrase
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Which of these should be cited?
On September 11, 2001, the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked by hijacked airplanes. Atta, Binalshibh, al Shehhi, and Jarrah had lived in Germany and were chosen over more established Al Qaeda members due to their exposure to the West and ability to speak English.
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B was correct: it is specific and not commonly known
How would you cite it? In the text of your paper: Atta, Binalshibh, al Shehhi, and Jarrah had lived in Germany and were chosen over more established Al Qaeda members due to their exposure to the West and ability to speak English (National Commission 160). In the Works Cited: National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States. The 9/11 Commission Report. New York: W.W. Norton, 2004.
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Which of THESE do you need to cite?
A. “The science labs at East St. Louis High School are 30 to 50 years outdated.” B. When public schools were segregated, conditions were not equal.
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A! It is very specific, even w/ out quotes!
How would you cite it? In-body: “The science labs at East St. Louis High School are 30 to 50 years outdated” (Kozol 27). In the Works Cited: Kozol, Jonathan. Savage Inequalities: Children in America’s Schools. New York: HarperCollins, Print.
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Good Sources/Bad Sources
Do NOT use wikipedia as a cited source. Sources that end in .edu or .gov are more reliable. News agencies often end in .com Beware of .org, .com, and .net websites. Sometimes can be used to show people’s opinions. Should NOT be used for facts unless reputable source.
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Exposition: Compare and Contrast
Pg 227
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Compare and Contrast these 2 clips
“Exposing” the subject: give information about it
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Compare/ Contrast “Alice in Wonderland” Trailers
Imagery/Art Colors Tone/Style Intended Audience Actor(s) vs Cartoon Compare/ Contrast “Alice in Wonderland” Trailers 1951 vs 2010
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Block method: Alice in Wonderland
1951 Version Colors Happy/bright Greens/yellows Characters Child Alice Silly, over-the-top Words Constant text on screen Descriptive + Sentences 2010 Version Colors Dark Reds and blacks Characters Nearly adult Alice Intense, scary Words Almost NO text Text it actors’ names, etc. Theme
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Point by Point Thesis: The 2010 version of Alice in Wonderland a was MUCH darker and more sinister movie than the 1951 version. Colors 1951 Version: Happy/bright; Greens/yellows 2010 Version: Dark; Reds/blacks Characters 1951: Child Alice; Silly, over-the-top 2010: Nearly adult Alice; intense/scary! Tone 1951: Wonder, surprise; Mischievous 2010: evil/harmful magic; fearful, intense
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Known Issues (pg 230-231) “So what?” –
Why should your reader care? FIND A PURPOSE Direct your thesis to a particular audience Describe your subjects clearly and distinctly Avoid a choppy essay – use transitions! (pg 231)
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Choose your topic Pre-Write checked in by end of class today (Venn diagram or Evidence Gathering sheet, etc) Research Scaffold – what research should/can you do? Rough draft due next meeting Final draft will be due the following week Topics choose from: online: Propose a topic to me by the end of class today.
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Homework Compare/Contrast 1st draft beginning of NEXT MEETING (50 points) Read: Compare/Contrast Student Essays – pgs Research Scaffold Vocab 3 – from the articles you read
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