1. Rich Gallagher Point of Contact Group www.pointofcontactgroup.com

2.  Teach you to be “nice”  Convince you to have “a good attitude”  Discuss basic courtesy skills your mother should have taught you when you were six years old

3.  Teach you how to communicate with confidence and leadership - particularly in your very worst customer situations with ◦ Students ◦ Parents ◦ Faculty members ◦ Or anyone else

4.  How to banish criticism - by "leaning into" it with gusto!  How to deliver bad news  How to keep arrogant, entitled people from intimidating you  Trigger phrases to never say  Grounding angry outbursts with the skill of a bomb squad

5.  A new student just saw her dorm room for the first time… and she absolutely hates it. What do you say first?  A) “I’m sorry”  B) “We did the best we could”  C) “Sounds like this didn’t work at all for you! Please tell me more about what you didn’t like.”  D) “Let me talk to my department head”

6.  Reflective listening: Hand their complaint back to them  Use “Wow” words  Steal all their good lines  Never defend yourself first

7.  Paraphrase the other person ◦ “So you were hoping to avoid getting an early morning class” ◦ “You wanted someone to fix the A/C a lot sooner”  Lets them know you heard and processed what they said  The more you use you own words, the better

8.  Don’t minimize the other person’s concerns – be right there with them emotionally ◦ Bad: “So it sounds like you had a little problem” ◦ Good: “Wow, this sounded horrible! This must have been really inconvenient.”  Not the same as admitting fault or giving in to demands  People who feel heard calm down and stop fighting

9.  Worried about what a customer might say? Get there first! ◦ “You are probably worried about how this situation will affect your daughter’s education” ◦ “You obviously want to be made whole from this situation” ◦ “You were hoping this would turn out differently”  Pre-emptive responses defuse anger and frustration

10.  Use the “look up, look down” rule: you want the customer’s head nodding up and down first before you explain or defend yourself  It’s OK to give your side of the story. Just don’t do it first!

11.  A faculty member wants you to do the impossible – and drop everyone else’s work to do it! How do you respond?  A) “I can’t possibly get this done that soon”  B) “Sounds like you’ve got a big deadline. Let’s look at some options”  C) “Here is the best I can do”  D) “You should have told me about this a lot sooner”

12.  Acknowledgement  Reframing  Delivering bad news

13.  Observation: Observe the other person’s feelings and reactions ◦ “I can see how upset you are”  Validation: Acknowledge the other person’s feelings are valid. This always involves describing other people ◦ “No one likes missing a deadline”  Identification: Identify with the other person’s feelings ◦ “Situations like these would bother me too”

14.  Using language to make things palatable or open dialogue  Examples: ◦ Costs: “expensive” versus “a typical fee” ◦ Schedule: “this will happen within 72 hours” versus “you will have to wait three days” ◦ Policies: “30 day limit” versus “one month grace period”  Never “reframe” a customer’s feelings

15.  Deliver bad news in three stages: ◦ A introduction that prepares the listener to hear something important ◦ A summary that gives the customer plenty of details ◦ An empathetic response to anything the customer throws back at you.

16.  The what? The Low Probability Face-Saving Alternative  OK to propose this as long as you explain that it is low probability  Examples: ◦ “We don’t usually do this, but let me check with my manager first” ◦ “Before we completely give up on this situation, there is one last thing we might try”

17.  The father of one of your students is always rude, demanding, and picky – and calls frequently! How do you deal with him?  A) Set boundaries  B) Ignore his temper  C) Put him on hold a lot  D) Learn to speak his language

18.  Accept a customer's self- importance  Use "fogging" to deflect their criticism  Under-react to their threats

19.  Giving orders ◦ "You'll have to …“; “You should have …”; “Did you …”; “I need this form signed.”  Catch phrases ◦ “I understand”; “Calm down”; “Who knows”  Setup phrases ◦ “I hate to say this”; “Let me be honest”; “I don’t know what to tell you”; “What can I say?”

20.  Acknowledge: use the highest “octane level” possible  Ask: Use good questions to calm the other person down  Alternatives: Frame options in terms of what you can do

21.  Some situations go beyond the bounds of good communications skills ◦ Extreme anger, abuse, mental illness, etc.  Have a safety plan  Train everyone and get them on board