2. ROAD MAP To Family Engagement Team Up for Your Child Melton Hill Media LLC Wendy Lowe Besmann, MHM Team Up for Families Project Road Map Series Unit 3 February 21, 2014

3. Who’s in the room, and why? Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

4. Today’s Goal: Explore these questions What do I want to happen? What strengths, barriers or opportunities could affect this outcome? What strategies might work? What are my top priorities for action? Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

5. Talk Story: Where are we connected? Why does that matter? Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

6. How do families cope with difficult situations? Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

7. For better or worse, family (bio and non-) Provides the most CONSISTENT source of support and influence. Can NEVER be replaced as a long-term support by an agency or institution. Agree or disagree? Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

8. What’s at stake? 1 in 5 children with health challenges. Estimated 75 % among those in child welfare. Most serious disorders are heritable, share genetic links (e.g. bipolar and autism). Bottom Line for child-serving staff and agencies??? Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

9. Name Your Table Family! Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

10. PASS RIGHT, PASS LEFT Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

11. What’s Your Job? In 3-5 points, sum up your main job responsibilities as they apply to interactions with families. Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

12. Destination: The New Normal Finding the New Normal ….means mobilizing the strength and support a family needs to overcome long-term challenges without getting overwhelmed. Road Map “Five Routes” Family Unit Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

13. Finding the New Normal …Can mean learning to work with a team of professionals and systems that may not see “The Big Picture” of a child’s strengths and needs. I only see your child during a 15-minute medication management visit. Pretty limited view from here! Road Map “Five Routes” Family Unit Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

14. Sharing the Big Picture I know a lot about THIS SYSTEM and how it can help your child. But I’M the one who sees THE BIG PICTURE--what happens everyday–what other providers are doing—and what I want for my child’s future. Sharing The Big Picture with providers is a family’s most important role! Road Map “Five Routes” Family Unit Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

15. …Can be the eyes and ears you need. …See the child in a variety of environments and time periods. …. Have a perspective that is critical to providing adequate services. Family members (biological and non-)…. Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

16. Family Engagement “Model Shift” FROM Deficit-based Family passivity or non-participation Agency “in charge” of creating change. TO Strength-based Active Partnership, Family and agency “in charge” of creating change. Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

17. Understanding Your Role is Key to Engaging with the Family You are: A source of support, information, system expertise, boundaries, and modeling. You are not: The expert on that youth or family. The family decision-maker. The one who will “save” that youth or family. Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

18. Sometimes you have to help a parent value his or her role in the system. Starts when YOU value that contribution and show respect. Continues when that person learns basic self-navigation skills. Reinforced by peer support. Successful when family can function and meet the needs of its members. Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

19. Five Routes to Better Services 1.Keep good records—but use shortcuts. 2.Learn key words that open doors. 3.Tell a clear “symptom story.” 4.Ask questions effectively. 5.Help all professionals who serve your child stay informed about treatment progress and life changes. Road Map “Five Routes” Family Unit Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

20. Keep Good Records—but use shortcuts. I keep paperwork organized and available for appointments, meetings, and phone calls. At the end of the year, stick me on the shelf—I’m a convenient annual record of treatment! Road Map “Five Routes” Family Unit Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

21. Ask questions effectively. Remember to ask about NEXT STEPS! Ask questions that begin with: Who..What…When…Where…Why …Can you please explain? Amazing But True: Busy providers pay more attention when you pull out a WRITTEN list! Road Map “Five Routes” Family Unit Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

22. Tell a Clear Symptom Story A “Symptom Story” is a list of the top 1-5 things that concern you about your child’s health, behavior or development. It can help you and the provider decide where to focus first! Road Map “Five Routes” Family Unit Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

23. Families are resourceful. Families are the experts on their needs. Families learn from experience. Agree or Disagree? Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

24. Barriers and challenges to navigating systems Transportation Care of Other Children Balancing Work Demands and Other Appointments Mental Health or Substance Abuse Issues Blame and Shame (assumed, real, internal, or external). Cultural Factors. Crisis Fatigue (remarkably similar to PTSD symptoms). Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

25. Impact of multi-stressor environments Individual or group is affected over a period of time by one or more significant stressors. Unrelenting stress is “normal.” Stress feels out of one’s control. Multi-stressors can make people process information more slowly and make decisions with more difficulty. Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

26. Professionals may think: They don’t understand the limitations of my job. That family is too broken to ever help this child. They don’t really want to try. They don’t know how to parent. They don’t really care. They have a mental illness, too— that’s where the kid gets it. Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

27. Parents may think: They won’t listen to me. Their minds are already made up. They think I’m a bad parent. They blame me for my child’s behavior. They don’t understand what it’s like at home. They don’t realize I have other kids in the house who need things. They don’t realize I’m overwhelmed. Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

28. Map It: How do families experience your office environment? Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

29. What do I need most from this system? What strengths and assets do I bring to the table? What challenges and barriers do I face? What’s my role in this system? What are the basic things I need to know about how this system works? What strategies have worked for other families? What did I learn from this experience that I might want to share with other families? Breaking up a Big Problem into Tasks You Can Handle This approach to problem-solving (continued on the next slide) is adapted from a draft peer support tool developed through a collaboration between PA SOC Partnership’s “Families for Families” online learning and support project and Melton Hill Media Team Up for Families project.

30. Other Strategies for Direct Care Staff Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

31. Crossing the Bridge Road Map is a trademark of Melton Hill Media. This material may not be reproduced with express permission from the publisher. Contact wendy@meltonhillmedia.com

32. Families are part of the solution – engaging them will lead to better outcomes for youth. Contact Wendy Lowe Besmann at wendy@meltonhillmedia.com,wendy@meltonhillmedia.com 865-803-2286 Learn more at http://teamupforyourchild.com