1. 乐清市第二中学 陈凌云

2. 高三（ 1 ）（ 2 ）学生温二模得分数据 档次人数百分比 第一档（ 10 分以下） 00% 第二档（ 11-15 分） 5150% 第三档（ 16-20 分） 4343% 第四档（ 21-25 分） 77% 第五档（ 26-30 分） 00% Average score: 16.1 77%

3. Road to better essays 方海燕

4. 高考写作评分标准 第四档（ 21-25 分） 完成了试题规定的任务。达到了预期的写作目的。 1. 虽漏掉了一两个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容。 2. 应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求 3. 语法结构和词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是 因尝试复杂语法机构和词汇所致。 4. 应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。

5. 高三（ 1 ）（ 2 ）学生温二模得分数据 档次人数百分比 第一档（ 10 分以下） 00% 第二档（ 11-15 分） 5150% 第三档（ 16-20 分） 4343% 第四档（ 21-25 分） 77% 第五档（ 26-30 分） 00% Average score: 16.1 /32(14-15) /32%

7. Find out and correct mistakes 1. I still remember the mistake, what still makes me regretful. 2. It was happened when I was only seven years old. 3. My mom chosed to trust me. 4. I was very regretful that I couldn’t forgive myself. 5. Never I will tell a lie from then on. happened chose Road to better essays which so will I Tip 1. Make your essay correct

8. There was a time when I was addicted to watching TV six years ago. However, at the same time, it was my duty to look after my little brother. Not having taken the safety into consideration, I left him alone in the ground which was next to a busy street. Much to my regret, he was knocked down by a car by coincidence, with his leg hurt badly. On account of it, he had got to stay in hospital for a long time. It was I, his beloved sister, who had a bad impact on his life, even if I didn’t make it on purpose. I was not a responsible sister. I felt ashamed about what I did, and I had no alternative but to treat him better than before. ( 陈小燕 ) Road to better essays

9. There was a time when I was addicted to watching TV six years ago. However, at the same time, it was my duty to look after my little brother. Not having taken the safety into consideration, I left him alone in the ground which is next to a busy street. Much to my regret, he was knocked by a car by coincidence, with his leg hurt badly. On account of it, he had got to stay in hospital for a long time. It was I, his beloved sister, who had a bad impact on his life, even if I didn’t make it on purpose. I was not a responsible sister. I felt ashamed about what I did, and I had no alternative but to treat him better than before. ( 陈小燕 ) Road to better essays was addicted to taken into consideration, left him alone Much to my regret, by coincidenceOn account of had a bad impact on on purpose. had no alternative but to Tip2: Proper word choice was addicted to taken into consideration, was addicted to taken left him alone into consideration, was addicted to taken Much to my regret, left him alone into consideration, was addicted to taken by coincidence Much to my regret, left him alone into consideration, was addicted to taken Onby coincidence Much to my regret, left him alone into consideration, was addicted to taken account of Onby coincidence Much to my regret, left him alone into consideration, was addicted to taken had a bad impact on account of Onby coincidence Much to my regret, left him alone into consideration, was addicted to taken on purpose. had a bad impact on account of Onby coincidence Much to my regret, left him alone into consideration, was addicted to taken had no alternative but to on purpose. had a bad impact on account of Onby coincidence Much to my regret, left him alone into consideration, was addicted to taken

10. There was a time when I was addicted to watching TV six years ago. However, at the same time, it was my duty to look after my little brother. Not having taken the safety into consideration, I left him alone in the ground which was next to a busy street. Much to my regret, he was knocked by a car by coincidence, with his leg hurt badly. On account of it, he had got to stay in hospital for a long time. It was I, his beloved sister, who had a bad impact on his life, even if I didn’t make it on purpose. I was not a responsible sister. I felt ashamed about what I did, and I had no alternative but to treat him better than before. ( 陈小燕 ) Road to better essays Tip3: Use some good sentence patterns

11. 1.I went away even more quickly, and I ignored it was bleeding. （用 v-ing 结构改写句子） 2. I still remember the day when I was learning to ride a bike and my mother accompanied me. ( 用 v-ed 结构改写 句子 ) Practice Road to better essays I went away even more promptly, ignoring it was bleeding. ( 林子娴 ) I still remember the day when I was learning to ride a bike, accompanied by my mother. ( 杨培禾）

12. 3. On an afternoon, I hid the bottle. It belonged to my best friend. ( 用定语从句改写句子 ) 4. We should never forget to be grateful to the lovely strangers around us. On a sweating afternoon, I hid the bottle which belonged to my best friend.( 吴海武） Road to better essays Never should we forget to be grateful to the lovely strangers around us. （杭州二模 )

13. 5. 我太害怕了以致于不承认这事，还撒谎说是猫应该受到 责备。（用强调句来翻译句子） Road to better essays I was too frightened to admit it, lying it was the cat that was to blame. ( 二模作文范文 )

14. I still remember the mistake I made which still makes me regretful. It happened when I was only seven years old. ① And one day I broke an expensive bottle of wine by accident. ② The wine had been treasured for many years. ③ I was so worried because I knew how much it cost, so I decided to tell a lie. ④ At first, I cleaned the broken wine bottle and then told my mom that my brother did it. Due to my good performance, my mom chose to trust me. As a result, my brother was punished later on. 修改提示： 将①, ②两句话合并成一句 话 ________________________ _________________________ _________________________ 将③, ④两句话分别修改 _____________________ _____________________ _____________________ _____________________ _____________________ _____________________ _____________________

15. I still remember the mistake I made which still makes me regretful. It happened when I was only seven years old. 1.And one day I broke an expensive bottle of wine by accident. 2.The wine had been treasured for many years. 3.I was so worried because I knew how much it cost, so I decided to tell a lie. 4. At first, I cleaned the broken wine bottle and then told my mom that my brother did it. Due to my good performance, my mom chose to trust me. As a result, my brother was punished later on. I still remember the mistake I made which still makes me regretful. Due to my good performance, my mom chose to trust me. As a result, my brother was punished later on. It happened when I was only seven years old. And one day I broke an expensive bottle of wine which had been treasured for many years by accident. Knowing how much it cost I was so worried that I decided to tell a lie. Having cleaned the broken wine bottle, I told my mom that it was my brother who did it. Road to better essays

16. I still remember the mistake I made which still makes me regretful. Due to my good performance, my mom chose to trust me. As a result, my brother was punished later on. It happened when I was only seven years old. And one day I broke an expensive bottle of wine which had been treasured for many years by accident. So worried was I that I decided to tell a lie, knowing how much it cost. Having cleaned the broken wine bottle, I told my mom that it was my brother who did it. Road to better essays Beginning: topic Body: story in detail (setting, development and ending) Ending: your point of view outline

17. I still remember the mistake I made which still makes me regretful. It happened when I was only seven years old. And one day I broke an expensive bottle of wine which had been treasured for many years by accident. So worried was I that I determined to tell a lie, knowing how much it cost. Having cleaned the broken wine bottle, I told my mom that it was my brother who did it. Due to my good performance, my mom chose to trust me. As a result, my brother was punished later on. Ending: your point of view Original ending: I was very regretful to do so. And I told my mom the truth and I felt relaxed. I will never tell a lie from then on. Your ending: _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

18. I still remember the mistake I made which still makes me regretful. It happened when I was only seven years old. And one day I broke an expensive bottle of wine which had been treasured for many years by accident. So worried was I that I determined to tell a lie, knowing how much it cost. Having cleaned the broken wine bottle, I told my mom that it was my brother who did it. Due to my good performance, my mom chose to trust me. As a result, my brother was punished later on. Road to better essays Ending: your point of view Original ending: I was very regretful to do so. And I told my mom the truth and I felt relax. Never will I tell a lie from then on. One possible version: Afterwards, the lie was bothering me though mom and brother didn’t discover it. How regretful I was for what I had done. Finally, I gathered my courage to tell the truth. Now I feel relieved, just as an English proverb goes, “Honesty is the best policy.” ( 参考二模作文范文） Tip4: Express your emotions and convey positive energy

19. I still remember a wrong thing. It left a deep impression on me and also made me know more about friendship. It happened between my best friend and me. One day, I planned to do my homework, but I couldn ’ t find my notebook anywhere I could imagine. It made me very sad. At the same time, my best friend came and carried my notebook. When I saw my notebook, I thought he brought my book to copy homework at first, so I was angry with him. After a minute, I realized that I just left my book in the playground and he helped me take it back. I felt very sorry and said sorry to him finally. And he forgave me at once. Since then, before I do anything, I ’ ll think more carefully. Also, I know that he is a real good friend. Polish the essay given

20. Eg1. From the above experience, I’ve learned that it is not our inborn gifts but our efforts that help us achieve success. When confronted with challenges, we should fight bravely instead of giving up. ( 杭州一模 —— 生活中遇到的最大的挑战 ) Eg2. I am really proud of this experience, because it helps me realize that we all can fulfill our potential and achieve our goals through hard work. It also helps me better understand the proverb “Practice makes perfect” (13 年浙江卷 —— 我骄傲的一件事 ) Eg3. I think smiling not only makes us happy but also helps build up our confidence, which makes a difference to our life. Furthermore, it will improve the relationship between us. It’s smiling that brings harmony to our life. Only when you smile to the world will the world smile at you. Therefore, keep smiling and show your best to the world. ( 温州一模 —— 微笑 ) Eg4. In life, we are now and then supported by the people around us, of which we are sometimes unaware. It is their efforts and contribution that make our life better. Never should we forget to be grateful to the lovely strangers around us. （杭州二模） Examples of point of view

21. 观点表达句式范例： 1. How regretful I was for what I had done. 2. Now I feel relieved just as an English proverb goes, “…….” 3. Finally I realized that …. But what really matters is….. 4. I firmly believe if everyone does their bit, food waste will be significantly reduced. 5. What a lesson! Every time I look at the scar in my leg, I couldn’t keep telling myself it is never too careful to cross the road. We’d better think twice before taking action. 6. Therefore, please bear it in mind that take a positive attitude to life, no matter how difficult it is.