1. ECET² Conference Difficult Conversations in Service to Students

2. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 2 Do Now Think about a difficult conversation you have had that went well and one that did not go well. What made the conversations effective or ineffective?

3. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 3 Session Outcomes ECET² participants will: Understand principles for engaging in difficult conversations aimed at changing adult attitudes and actions towards students. Experience engaging in difficult conversations in order to change adult attitudes and actions in support of increasing academic achievement for ALL students.

4. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 4 1. Session Framing – Why This Topic? 2. Principles for Engaging in Difficult Conversations 3. Analysis of a Difficult Conversation 4. Application: Difficult Conversation Role Plays 5. Final Thoughts and Wrap-up Agenda

5. WHY THIS TOPIC???

6. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 6 Why This Topic? Have You Heard… “I had his brother and sister, they didn’t have a clue either. That whole family is hopeless…” “I have high expectations, but aren’t we setting our students up for failure when we say that they ALL should be college and career ready…” “My third period students are gems, but there is just no hope for my fourth period. They don’t care about their education!” “Have you met her mother? Nothing but excuses. She is a lost cause” How many of you have heard your peers and colleagues make the above, or similar types of statements?

7. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 7 Why This Topic? (Animate) "Leadership is a choice. It is the choice not to do nothing." Not only do new instruction shifts and practices to support the demands of new standards need to happen, there is also a mindset shift that needs to happen. It’s not a matter of SKILL vs WILL. We need teachers and leaders with the SKILL AND WILL. Challenging negative beliefs, mindsets, and behaviors takes COURAGE! One way to demonstrate COURAGE is to engage in DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS, Conversations that push your peers and colleagues to consider the impact that negative attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs have on students and a school community.

8. PRINCIPLES FOR ENGAGING IN DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

9. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 9 Principles for Engaging in Difficult Conversations Time and Place—Choose an appropriate time and place to have the conversation. Address Directly Address the person who prompted the conversation; don’t speak to someone else about it first. Name The Situation/Issue —Start out by recounting what happened. Truth Assumption—Don’t assume the person holds the truth; there can be one or more sides to the story No Judgments—Don’t make assumptions about intentions; assume best intentions as a default. Avoid the Blame Game—Don’t blame the person. Inquire and Listen to Learn—Ask open-ended questions. Really listen. Acknowledge Feelings—Make the person feel heard and understood. Say What You Mean—Don’t rely on subtext. Start with what matters most. Be professional and direct. Problem-Solve– Invent options together. Watch Your NonVerbals – don’t let your actions undermine your words. Adapted from EPIC video Principles for Having Difficult Conversations, KIPP DC: KEY Academy (Charter), Washington, DC, and from Stone, Patton and Heen, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Penguin Books, 2010. Principles for Having Difficult Conversations

10. PRINCIPLES IN ACTION ANALYSIS OF A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION

11. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 11 Difficult Conversation Practice: Roles & Responsibilities Initiator—the person to initiate the difficult conversation. Colleague—the person with whom the Initiator is having the difficult conversation. Observer—responsible for observing the interactions using the provided form and timekeeping. Role Plays will be done in trios and each person will assume each of the above roles once.

12. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 12 Difficult Conversations Role Play Protocol StepsTiming 1. Identify two other participants to work with and, determine who will be acting as the Initiator in each role play and who will be serving in the remaining roles. 1 min 2. Everyone prepares for their difficult convo as the Initiator. Everyone reviews their colleague role. 5 min 3. Engage in the Difficult Conversation Role Play. During role play Observer documents feedback for Initiator on the provided form. Colleague is reminded to use provided statements. 5 min 4. Colleague (1min) and Observer (2min) provide feedback3min. 5. Initiator reflects on what they would do differently2 min Switch 2X and repeat steps 3 -5(approx 30 min)

13. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 13 Difficult Conversation Scenarios

14. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 14 Planning for Your Scenario Role Play #1Role Play #2Role Play #3 Person 1Initiator Scenario1 ColleagueObserver Person 2ObserverInitiator Scenario 2 Colleague Person 3ColleagueObserverInitiator Scenario 3

15. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 15 What’s Happening Now? ROLE PLAY SCENARIO 1

16. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 16 What’s Happening Now? FEEDBACK FOR SCENARIO 1

17. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 17 What’s Happening Now? ROLE PLAY SCENARIO 2

18. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 18 What’s Happening Now? FEEDBACK FOR SCENARIO 2

19. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 19 What’s Happening Now? ROLE PLAY SCENARIO 3

20. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 20 What’s Happening Now? FEEDBACK FOR SCENARIO 3

21. WRAP UP

22. © New Leaders, Inc. All rights reserved. | 22 Reflections What are your take-aways from this session? What will you use or apply in your school? What ACTION will you take

23. LEADERSHIP IS ABOUT ACTION BE PROFESSIONAL BE DIRECT BE COURAGEOUS YOUR VOICE MATTERS

24. Mission Our mission is to ensure high academic achievement for all children, especially students in poverty and students of color, by developing transformational school leaders and advancing the policies and practices that allow great leaders to succeed. Vision We envision a day when there is educational excellence and equity in America – when our country’s public schools ensure that every student is prepared for success in college, careers and citizenship. www.newleaders.org