2. Bully Blocking A Presentation of Information & Strategy for Reducing Violence on Campus Created by Albert Gonzales © DifferenceMakers, Ltd. | www.DifferenceMakers.com

3. What is Bullying? Bruce Perry calls this phenomenon the “vortex of violence.” He says that violence always travels from the strongest to the weakest or from the most powerful to the least powerful. People who are the object of violence absorb it, modify it, and then pass it on. Young children, who are at the bottom of this vortex, often do not have anyone to pass it on to; so they absorb it, accumulate it, and wait until they are old enough, big enough, or strong enough to erupt in some dramatic way that hurts other people.

4. Bullying is an act of violence committed to intimidate, coerce, demean or dominate another. It is often a learned behavior manifested verbally and/or physically. Unblocked, bully behavior tends to create more bullies. When bullies are viewed as successful, others tend to mimic the behaviors hoping for the same outcomes. Often victims of bullying adopt the bullying behavior because it is the only successful behavior they have been taught. Most bully behavior is learned at home. Bullying Facts

5. Bullies operate as they do to exercise dominance over a victim who is generally unable to defend him or herself because he or she is physically weaker, more sensitive to teasing or have physical or psychological characteristics that make them more prone to victimization. Bully Facts

6. One-half of all violence against teenagers occurs in school buildings, on school property, or on the street in the vicinity of the school. Most begins as bullying or put-downs. 80 - 90% of students report some form of victimization from a bully at school. The National Education Association estimates that 160,000 students miss school every day, or 28 million missed days per year, due to fear of attack or intimidation by a bully. Why Talk About It At School?

7. The home environment is a major factor in creating bullies. A home where violence is accepted and used as a means for solving disputes is one that helps raise bullies. Environmental Factors HOME

8. Homes in which bullies live will likely be: void of consistent adult supervision. hostile. supportive of aggression as a way of solving conflicts. in neighborhoods where violence is commonplace. run by adults who model bully behavior (consciously or not). Environmental Factors HOME

9. Students forced into competition in social interactions tend to polarize into groups. Grouping leads to feelings of acceptance or non-acceptance, which leads to cliques, which leads to “acting out” of bullying behavior. Environmental Factors SCHOOL

10. Schools which have no clearly defined policy or plan for bullies contribute to the problem. Environmental Factors SCHOOL

11. Schools where bullies thrive will likely: be crowded. not have a clear and consistent policy regarding harassment or bullying. not have a staff trained to identify bully behavior. have an administrative staff overwhelmed with discipline problems. treat every student conflict as mutual combat. Environmental Factors SCHOOL

12. School where bullies thrive will likely: not have adequate adult supervision. not take time to track violent behavior on campus. not have an intervention team who can share the discipline work load. be unaware of vulnerable areas on campus where students can be victimized by bullies. trade bullies with other schools as a means of discipline. Environmental Factors SCHOOL

13. Much of the learned behavior depends upon the social norms of the neighborhood. Lower socioeconomic neighborhoods tend to be problematic for a few reasons… Environmental Factors COMMUNITY

14. Poorer communities usually have more people per capita then affluent communities and crowding leads to frustration and “acting out.” Environmental Factors COMMUNITY

15. Educational levels in lower socioeconomic neighborhoods are generally lower and the social skills for dealing with stress are more prone to be violent. Environmental Factors COMMUNITY

16. Supervision of children tends to be looser and children are victimized more often in poorer neighborhoods. Gangs in a community contribute to learned bullying behavior for survival as accepted rights of passage. Environmental Factors COMMUNITY

17. Communities that spawn and harbor bullies: are crowded with poor housing conditions. have a greater number of impoverished families. have few or no positive recreational outlets for kids. have few or nor positive connections with police and city resources. allow gangs to be the primary influence of children in the streets. Environmental Factors COMMUNITY

18. By now you may think your neighborhood is not overcrowded, overrun by gangs and is clean. So you must be bully-free? Beyond the obvious is the attitude of a community. The physical risk factors discussed before are symptoms of deeper issues, and in many middle class communities, the deep issues are apathy and acceptance of the behavior. What About Middle Class Neighborhoods?

19. Name calling, put-downs, cruel teasing Saying or writing nasty things about someone Deliberately excluding someone from activities Not talking to someone Threatening someone with bodily harm Taking or damaging someone’s things Hitting or kicking someone Making someone do things they don’t want to do Bullying Behavior

20. Peer conflict is a normal part of life and learning to deal with it helps children master socialization skills as they mature into healthy adults. Unfortunately, many people mistake bullying for a “rite of passage” toward maturity. It is important to note that bullying is not the same as a healthy peer conflict scenario. There are distinct elements present with bullying that do not exist in normal behavior. Being able to identify the bullying factors will help keep kids safe. Bullying vs. Normal Peer Conflict

21. Bullies are driven to force their will on others and are determined not to allow any authority to change their minds. In a normal peer conflict, people can be directed to see another point of view and therefore, do not insist their way is the only solution to a problem; bullies cannot. Conflict with a bully is not logical. In a normal peer conflict individuals can give reasons for their disagreement, negotiate, and come to an understanding of the causes and possible solutions to avoid the conflict in the future. Bullies do not negotiate, they blame. If an apology is given it is often followed by an immediate attack on the victim outside the presence of authority to prove they still have dominance. In a normal conflict the combatants often offer sincere apologies and often become better friends as a result of the process. Elements of Bullying Behavior

22. Victims’ attributes may change but bullies can generally be divided into three categories: Proactive bullies have poor social and relationship skills. They compensate for this lack of skill by picking on others. They need no provocation and are naturally more aggressive. Reactive bullies have been victimized by other bullies so they retaliate for their humiliation by striking out at others. Provocative bullies are the most rejected by peers and have the fewest friends. They provoke fights or aggressive encounters with others. They are quick to become oppositional or defiant and cry or display exaggerated responses in conflict situations. Types of Bullies

23. Gather the information To truly understand the bullying situation at your school you must gather the perceptions of your stakeholders- students, teachers, parents, support staff, community leaders. Do not trust the perceptions of only one group or base your long-term safety plan on the perception of only your staff and faculty. Understanding Bullying At Your School

24. Gather your information by: Observation: What are your feelings about the behaviors you observe on your campus? Interview: Gather your stakeholders’ feelings by asking them in personal meetings. Survey: Using a written survey provides the most effective way of gathering useful information from a wide and varied audience. Understanding Bullying At Your School

25. Regardless of your vehicle for collecting, it is important to divide your findings into these three categories: 1. Geographic Safety Zones 2. Relationships 3. Social Climate If you use a survey look for the following information using these questions: Understanding Bullying At Your School

26. Safety Zones Is your walking route to and from school safe for everyone? If not, please tell us where the danger spots are. Have you ever seen anyone bring a weapon to school? Is the bus ride to and from school safe for everyone? Are there places on campus not safe for everyone? If so, where? Are there times when places at school are safer than at other times? If so, which places and what times? Are there times and places at after-school events which are not safe? If so, which places and when? Suggested Survey Questions

27. Relationships Do your friends care about the safety of all students at school? Do all the adults in your life care about the safety of all students? If not who? Are there people at school who use verbal insults (putdowns) to humiliate others? If so, who? Are there people who use violence or physical intimidation to control others? Who? Have you ever felt threatened by anyone at school? If yes, by whom? Have you ever seen another student picked on (verbally or physically) at school? If so, by whom? Suggested Survey Questions

28. Social Climate Is school a safe place? Do all students feel free to express themselves without being ridiculed or teased by others? Is violence a “normal” part of growing up? Can intimidating another person either physically or mentally earn you respect from others? Is using violence ever a good way to solve personal differences? If so, when? Are there times when you feel you have to fight physically to make people leave you alone? Are there groups at school who use violence to intimidate others? If so, which groups? Are there students on campus who get away with intimidating others because they belong to a special group? If so, which groups? Are all students welcome and included in school activities? Are all students treated as equals at school? Do you believe fighting helps release frustration? Please list the cliques (exclusive groups of students formed for their exclusivity) at school. Suggested Survey Questions

29. The ultimate goal for a situational response when a bully is victimizing you is to escape. You need to get to a safe place with the least harm. In every situation you want to be sure an adult (a teacher or supervisor at school) is informed of the incident. Personal Toolbox Tools

30. The best way to prevent becoming a victim is to avoid potentially harmful situations and relationships. Be selective in your friends; make sure that neither you nor your friends are neither a bully nor a victim. If you don’t have a lot of friends try joining a school club and becoming part of a group. Personal Toolbox Tools

31. If you find yourself in a situation where you are being picked on, here are some tips on what you can do: Ignore: Bullies thrive on a response they get from their victims. Often when you simply don’t respond they will go somewhere else. Offer a Deflective Response: If a bully is teasing you and ignoring them is not working, choose a non-sarcastic response to “throw them off balance” (emotionally speaking). Brainstorm with your friends and parents for other deflective comments. Personal Toolbox Tools

32. Get to a safe place: Some bullies are intent on harming you no matter how you respond so the best thing to do is get to a safe place. Safe places are usually very public and within the eye of adult supervisors. If you are not in a publicly safe place when a bully approaches you then get to one as quick as you can. If you know a place on campus is not safe then report it to a school administrator and avoid it until you are certain it is a safe zone. Stop teasing or otherwise participating in bullying behavior. Stand up for the person who may be different. Personal Toolbox Tools

33. What about retaliation? The power of a bully is in their ability to stay “cloaked” from people in authority who can bring consequences in their lives. Most victims fear things will get worse if they say anything, or they will feel ashamed. But the reality is that things will get worse anyway; it will just progress slower. So by saying nothing, the victim is actually empowering the bully. Personal Toolbox Tools

34. You have some choices to make. Some of those choices are personal. You may not be a bully but some of your behaviors are “bully-like”. Do a self- examination of your behavior and make a commitment to change the negatives. Now What?

35. You need to choose to become part of the collective solution at school. Start with your friends; choose them wisely and agree and positive ways of interacting. You can also get involved with a school wide campaign to reduce violent and offensive behavior. Use the survey to determine how much may need to change to make your school a “FearLess” School! Now What?

36. Bully Blocking © DifferenceMakers, Ltd. | www.DifferenceMakers.com