1. How a Bully Gets Power An invitation to: Reflect, Think, Understand, & Make a change

2. Definitions Bullying… 1. Is aggressive behavior with intent to harm that involves unwanted, negative actions. 2. Involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time. 3. Involves an imbalance of power or strength.

3. Examples of Bullying Physical – Pushing, shoving, fighting, spitting, tripping Emotional/Social – Excluding – Threats – Spreading lies and false rumors – Recruiting people to “turn” against someone – Cyber-communication -- Texting, Facebook, etc – Repeated teasing while knowing it is hurtful

4. Bullying is not:  Rude behavior  Having a lack of or weak social skills  Choosing another peer group (or deciding not to be friends with someone)  Being “annoying”  Being in a bad mood  Being insensitive  Having a dominating personality  Conflict or disagreement

5. Gateway Behaviors In the moment, single-event verbal or nonverbal communication with an unkind spirit. Some examples:  Teasing  Eye-rolling  Laughing at another student  Whispering about someone  Not allowing someone to join an activity or discussion or lunch table  Moving to another lunch table because you don’t like someone Invitation for students to think: Why is it important to recognize and stop Gateway Behaviors?

6. Roles Target (Victim) Bully (Aggressor) Witness (Bystander)

7. Target/Victim Not randomly chosen They tend to have a perceived vulnerability – Not many friends – Glasses – May be overweight (girl/boy) – Not athletic (boy) – Small for their size – Sensitive (Wear their heart on their sleeve)

8. Target/Victim  In the past, schools would often ask targets of peer aggression to:  “be strong”  “ignore it”  “try not being so sensitive”  Now, we encourage and teach you to develop the capacity and communication skills to be safe and report aggressive behaviors

9. Bystander/witness Two types of bystanders/witnesses 1) Reluctant (fear that aggressor will turn on him/her or that they will lose social power) 2) Strong/”un-teasable” (something about the way he/she carries themselves”) Invitation to reflect: How can “strong bystanders” help the culture?

10. Bully Why? Gain/retain social position, to impress bystanders Where? Mostly in unstructured settings with little adult supervision When? When adults are not looking (mostly) PROFILE – average to above average self esteem, lacking intrapersonal skills, motivated to obtain or lock in social status, may have lots of unsupervised time at home coupled with not much “tender time” with parents.

11. Myths about students who engage in Bullying behaviors Bullies suffer from low self-esteem (Not true) He/she knows exactly what they are doing (A tiny bit true) Ignoring the behavior will stop a bully (Mostly NOT true)

12. What about the Social Ladder? Definition Some kids not tuned into it Some kids highly tuned into it Perception – There is only so much room at the top! “How can I move up or make sure I don’t lose my spot?” Insecurity or uncertainty (rampant at this age level) An invitation for students to think: Which kids do you suppose are happier and more secure socially? (Highly aware of S.L. or not?)

13. Girls ------------ Boys Different style (typically)  BOYS – physical, verbal, “move on”  GIRLS – emotional, verbal, social, “hold on”

14. What are Effective Strategies to REDUCE/STOP Bullying? All staff trained in district policy, addressing gateway, and creating safe & respectful learning environments Student leaders trained as “strong bystanders” Support from well-informed parents & guardians School-wide program focused on pro-social, interpersonal skill development Comprehensive reporting system Communication and consequences enforced by Administration

15. Prevention Plan at Fowler o Second Step (6- 8) & Steps to Respect (4/ 5) o All staff are trained to address gateway behaviors in the moment for all to hear (MARC training) o Student Government – develop leadership capacity o Communication with parents/guardians -- Plan is on district website o A shared and caring culture (kids, parents and teachers) of “We don’t do that here!”

16. Intervention Plan at Fowler  Reporting – three ways: o Written o Verbal o Anonymous - written or verbal (note- no disciplinary action may be taken based solely on an anonymous report)  Investigation takes time  Serious consequences  Development of Safety Plan in the event of a finding of Bullying  Consequences are confidential

17. Did you know that… Massachusetts has some of the toughest anti-bullying laws in the entire country?  Focus is prevention (Steps to Respect & Second Step)  Mandatory action – administration  Shared accountability  Shared commitment & responsibility in community  Strong consequences for students (suspension, possible expulsion)

18. For students to discuss… Agree/Disagree/Neutral or No Comment If one person is hurt by being bullied, we are all hurt. Kids who continue to bully eventually become adults who struggle with relationships, friendships and in the work place. There is a difference between snitching/tattling and asking an adult for help A kid who bullies others has very little insight