1. Adult Attachment, Personality, and Close Relationships
R. Chris Fraley
Department of Psychology
These overheads can be downloaded as a PowerPoint file at

2. Why Study Intimate Relationships in Personality Psychology?
Close relationships
Source of joy, strength, and security
Source of pain, conflict, and sorrow
Many of the goals that organize peoples’ lives are relational
My objectives today:
Discuss briefly an attachment theoretical view on intimate relationships
Review some interesting research that has been generated from this perspective

3. Attachment Theory as Applied to Infant-Caregiver Relationships
John Bowlby’s (1969/1982) attachment theory: An ethological approach to the study of infant-caregiver relationships
Attachment behavior and its function
The “attachment behavioral system”: an innate homeostatic feedback system for regulating attachment behavior

4. Separation distress and anxiety experienced
Felt security,
love,
confidence
Playful, less
inhibited, smiling,
sociable
Yes
Is the
caregiver
near, attentive,
responsive, etc.?
Separation distress and anxiety experienced
Attachment behaviors are activated to some degree, ranging from simple visual monitoring to intense protest, clinging, and searching No
Adapted from Fraley & Shaver (2000)

5. Individual Differences in Attachment Organization
Normative system with variation
Ainsworth’s strange situation paradigm
Three attachment patterns:
secure
anxious-resistant
avoidant
These differences are thought to be reflections of the way a child’s attachment system has become organized in the context of his or her caregiving environment.

6. Individual Differences in Attachment Organization
Secure
Seems to believe that parent is likely to be accessible and responsive. Seems competent, exploration-oriented, and affectively positive. Soothes easily. Shows early empathy, communicates clearly about feelings. Solves problems effectively. (Theoretically stems from accessible, sensitive, reliable parental caregiving.)

7. Individual Differences in Attachment Organization
Anxious/ambivalent
Exhibits more crying and separation anxiety. Does not seem to be confident that parent will be accessible and responsive. Vigilance and preoccupation interferes with exploration. Attachment behavior has a low threshold for activation. Seems fussy, angry, immature. (Theoretically stems from parental anxiety, insensitivity to child’s signals, intrusiveness, and inconsistency.)

8. Individual Differences in Attachment Organization
Avoidant
Cries relatively little during separation and actively avoids parent upon reunion. Engages in displacement exploratory behavior, characterized as “[turning] to the neutral world of things, even though displacement exploratory behavior is devoid of the true interest of secure exploration.” (Theoretically stems from parental rejection and discomfort with close physical contact.)

9. Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult Relationships
Bowlby (1980) and Weiss (1982) suggested that the attachment system continues to play a role in adult relationships.
Shaver, Hazan, and Bradshaw (1988) argued that romantic love is an attachment process involving the integration of caregiving, sex, and attachment.

10. Parallels with respect to Attachment
Infant-caregiver relationship
Romantic love
When AO is not available, infant is anxious, preoccupied, and unable to explore freely
When LO acts uninterested or distant, person becomes anxious, preoccupied, unable to concentrate
Child desires an exclusive relationship with AO; siblings or other parent may be viewed as a threat to the bond
Lovers often desire an exclusive relationship; acquaintances & former lovers may be viewed as a threat to the bond
When afraid, distressed, sick, threatened, etc., infants seek physical contact with AO
When afraid, distressed, sick, threatened, etc., lovers would like to be held and comforted by LO
Distress at separation or loss: crying, calling for AP, trying to find AO, becoming sad and listless if reunion seems impossible
Distress at separation or loss: crying, calling for LO, trying to find LO, becoming sad and listless if reunion seems impossible

11. Parallels with respect to Caregiving
Infant-caregiver relationship
Romantic love
The AO is sensitive to the infant’s physical and psychological needs
The LO is sensitive to his or her lover’s physical and psychological needs
An AO will frequently forsake his or her own needs and activities in order to protect or tend to his or her child
A LO may forsake his or her own needs or plans in order to accommodate those of his or her lover
An AO will sometimes put his or her life at risk to protect the well-being of the child
A LO will sometimes sacrifice him- or herself for the protection of the lover
An AO will feel empathically uneasy or anxious if the child is at risk, ill, etc.
A LO will feel empathically uneasy or anxious if lover is at risk, ill, etc.

12. Parallels with respect to Sexuality
Infant-caregiver relationship
Romantic love
Infant may feed from AO’s breast; nibble or suck on skin, fingers, kiss
Lovers may “feed” from breasts, nibble on earlobes, suck on skin (“hickey”), kiss
Infant and AO frequently engage in eye contact; infant seems fascinated with AO’s physical features and enjoys touching nose, ears, hair, etc.
Lovers frequently engage in eye contact and seem fascinated with each other’s physical features and like to explore noses, ears, hair, etc.
Infant coos, “sings,” talks baby talk, etc.; mother talks a combination of baby talk and “motherese.” much nonverbal communication
Lovers coo, sing, talk baby talk, use soft maternal tones, etc., and much of their communication is nonverbal
prolonged ventral-ventral contact, sleep in same bed

13. Mouth-to-Mouth Feeding and Courtship

16. Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult Relationships
In short, the dynamics of romantic relationships are theorized to be driven by the same behavioral systems that drive infant-caregiver bonds.
This suggests that the same kinds of individual differences that characterize infants might characterize adults.

17. Hazan & Shaver (1987) measure
Read each of the three self-descriptions below (A, B, and C) and then place a checkmark next to the single alternative that best describes how you feel in romantic relationships or is nearest to the way you feel. (Note: The terms "close" and "intimate" refer to psychological or emotional closeness, not necessarily to sexual intimacy.)
i>clicker
______A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.
______B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.
______C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.

18. Hazan & Shaver (1987) measure
Read each of the three self-descriptions below (A, B, and C) and then place a checkmark next to the single alternative that best describes how you feel in romantic relationships or is nearest to the way you feel. (Note: The terms "close" and "intimate" refer to psychological or emotional closeness, not necessarily to sexual intimacy.)
______A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. (AVOIDANT)
______B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me. (SECURE)
______C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away. (ANXIOUS)

19. Attachment Styles
These different “attachment styles” are thought to reflect the unique ways in which people think about or represent their attachment experiences.
Want to know your attachment style? Try this on-line test:

20. Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult Relationships
Here are some of the issues we will cover today:
How is attachment behavior patterned among adults?
Attachment and sexual behavior
Attraction and partner pairing
The development of attachment styles

21. How is Attachment Behavior Manifested in Romantic Relationships?
Are there parallels between attachment dynamics in infancy and attachment dynamics in adults?
What is needed:
A situation that is mildly stressful or likely to activate attachment-related concerns (like the strange situation)
A setting amenable to nonobtrusive observation

22. Fraley and Shaver Airport Study

23. The Airport Study: Methods
Questionnaire
Observed and coded the behavior of (a) separating and (b) nonseparating couples
109 couples
Median age: 33 (16 to 68 years)
Median relationship length: 3 yrs. (1 month to 43 yrs.)
47% married

24. The Airport Study: Sampling of Behaviors
brief hug
kissed several times before she leaves
eye-to-eye contact
crying
extended hand stretch
waves “good bye”
whispers “I love you” when boarding
watches plane from window
massages thigh
sitting close together
watching game on TV
last person to board plane
intimate kiss
long hug

26. The Airport Study: Variability in Attachment Behavior
Nonetheless, there is considerable variability in the expression of attachment behavior.
People with avoidant attachment styles should exhibit less attachment behavior.
Contact Seeking
Frequency

27. CONTACT SEEKING AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT 14 SEPARATING NOT SEPARATING 12 108 6 4 2 -2 -1 1 2
AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT

28. Do Links Exist between Sexual Behavior and Attachment Patterns?
Sexual activity involves some degree of exploration, novelty, and curiosity.
According to attachment theory, the degree to which people liberally explore their environments is facilitated by security
Exploration, of course, also entails risk, and the defenses people use to avoid threat may manifest themselves in the way they think about sexuality.

29. Unpublished data from Hazan

30. Unpublished data from Hazan

31. Psychological Needs Sexual behavior can also serve attachment needs.
“Make up sex,” for example, is a means for people to reestablish proximity and to build a sense of security following a relationship conflict.

32. Motives for sex Sex for stress reduction Sex for self-esteem
Sex for reassurance
Sex for emotional closeness
Want sex when insecure
Correlations
Data from Davis, Shaver, & Vernon (2004)

33. Attraction and Partner Matching
In general, people tend to be most attracted to people with secure-seeming qualities.
If made to choose between insecure types, people tend to prefer partners that have attachment styles similar to their own.
How does this come to be?

34. Brumbaugh and Fraley Transference Study
People described for us a significant romantic partner from their past.
Two weeks later we invited people to the lab for an unrelated study on dating and personal ads.
People read online ads describing two people
One that resembled their past partner
One that resembled another person’s past partner (yoked control)
People rated how much they wanted to date the person and how secure they thought they would be in a relationship with the ad person.

36. Transference Study
Overall, people tended to relate to the people in the ads in a way that was consistent with their prior attachment style
People who were secure in the past felt more secure with the people in the ads.
People who were insecure in the past generally felt more insecure with the people in the ads.

37. Transference Study
Matching effects: People were more likely to transfer their attachment styles if there was some degree of overlap between their past partner and the person described in the ad
If secure with past partner, especially likely to feel secure with the person in the ad who resembled the past partner.
If insecure with past partner, especially likely to feel insecure with the person in the ad who resembled the past partner.

38. Transference Study
Overall, people were more interested in actually dating the people who resembled their past partner.
This is an important finding because it suggests that insecure people, despite feeling insecure with the person who resembles their past partner, nonetheless want to date that person.
This process may lead people to recreate and promote insecure relationship patterns from their past.

39. How stable are attachment styles from infancy to adulthood?
This is one of the big questions in the study of attachment
Implications for how we think about the enduring impact of early experiences, stability and change, and intervention
Unfortunately, Bowlby was vague regarding the issue of stability
On one hand, Bowlby argued that attachment styles should be open to revision
On the other hand, Bowlby believed that early attachment patterns served as the foundation for subsequent development

40. How stable are attachment styles from infancy to adulthood?
Meta-analysis is a technique used to combine results across multiple studies that address a similar phenomenon.
All studies containing test-retest data on attachment between 12 months of age and subsequent ages were identified (27 samples total)
Studies classified as belonging to one of five test-retest intervals: age 1, age 2, age 4, age 6, and age 19

41. Importantly, this degree of stability is constant over time.
Overall, there is a weak to moderate degree of stability in attachment patterns from infancy forward.
Equivalent to a correlation of (60% of people secure at age 1 are secure at age 19.)
Importantly, this degree of stability is constant over time.
1.0
0.8
0.6
Continuity
0.4
0.2
0.0 5 10 15 20
Age
Fraley (2002)

42. Summary
Attachment theory is a rich theoretical framework in which to study some of the enduring themes of psychology
development, stability, and change
mental representation
psychological growth and psychopathology
emotions
the evolution and function of behavior patterns
the influence that people have on one another’s experience

43. Thank You!