1. Revising the research paper Standard paragraph length Unity Coherence

2. First, a disclaimer Not all instances of errors are marked.

3. Paragraph length

4. Standard paragraph length –Research suggests an average of 8 lines per paragraph for reports and other long documents. –Any paragraph longer than 10 lines must be carefully examined: Do you need to break this up? Does it have unity, or are you including unnecessary sentences? (Lesikar et al., 2008)

5. Paragraph unity

6. All sentences in a paragraph support one idea. Fix: 1.Do you have a topic sentence? 2.Do all your sentences support this topic sentence? 3.Do you need to remove or relocate some sentences?

7. Coherence

8. Two levels Paragraph-level/Local coherence –linkage of ideas/sentences in the within a paragraph Essay-level/Global coherence –linkage of paragraphs in the entire essay

9. Local coherence 1.Use of sentence linkers –Ex: in addition, also for addition; however, on the other hand for contrast; for example for exemplification 2.Leveling up: Linguistic signals to show idea relationships

10. Good: Better: A study by Murrel and Montgomery (2007) shows the effectiveness of using stem cell therapy in treating certain types of cancer... [support] A study by Steuart (2009) also shows that stem cell therapy effectively treats breast cancer.... [evidence] A study by Murrel and Montgomery (2007) shows the effectiveness of using stem cell therapy in treating certain types of cancer... [support] These results are also supported by Steuart’s (2009) study that shows that stem cell therapy effectively treats breast cancer.... [evidence]

11. Common errors thus The pressure builds up, thus causes* fault lines to enlarge. Fix: The pressure builds up, thus causing fault lines to enlarge. The pressure builds up and thus (therefore) causes fault lines to enlarge.

12. Common errors on the contrary Cold therapy accelerates the rate of blood circulation; on the contrary* heat therapy slows it down. Fix: Cold therapy accelerates the rate of blood circulation; in contrast, heat therapy slows it down.

13. on the contrary – intensification The US bases were not established for the Philippines’ protection; on the contrary, they were placed here to promote American security interests.

14. on the contrary Sex education does not encourage sexual experimentation; on the contrary, ____________________________.

15. Common errors Acupuncture has a number of benefits. For one, it stimulates blood circulation. Another*, it releases pain killing chemicals in the body. For another, it releases pain killing chemicals in the body.

17. Global coherence

18. Global coherence strategies Paragraph linkers – within sections Transitions – from one section to the next

19. Global coherence strategies Paragraph linkers –Linguistic signals used to show connection among paragraphs

20. Paragraph linkers One cause of cancer is a person’s lifestyle. Smoking and poor diet, for example, lead to.............. Another cause is heredity. Certain cancers like leukemia are.............. ________________ is the environment.

21. Transitions Use transitions when you go from one major topic to the next Strategy: GIVEN + NEW given = what has been discussed new = what will be discussed

22. The Effects of Trade Liberalization I.Definition II.Advantages A.Economic advantages B.Human development III.Disadvantages A.Loss of livelihood B.Death of local industries

23. Trade liberalization is said to have a number of advantages. One of them is economic... [paragraphs on the advantages] [SHORT TRANSITION PARAGRAPH (1 to 3 sentences): Mention the previous level 1 topic and introduce the next.] One disadvantage of liberalization is that it... [paragraphs on the disadvantages]

24. Trade liberalization is said to have a number of advantages. One of them is economic...[paragraphs on the advantages] As discussed, trade liberalization has been expected to provide benefits in terms of economic and human capital development. However, the Philippines’ experience shows that these benefits have not been realized at all. On the contrary, it experienced many setbacks as a result of economic liberalization. One disadvantage of liberalization is that it... [paragraphs on the disadvantages]

25. Transitions Given + New Sectional preview A paragraph that tells the reader what comes next

26. Studies show that globalization provides a number of advantages for developing countries. These advantages are increased technological development, more opportunities for trade, and greater chance for employment. (preview paragraph) [paragraphs on advantages]

27. Let’s practice. Go over your draft. Start putting in global coherence strategies. –Paragraph linkers –Transitions: Given + new transition paragraphs Sectional previews