1. Emotional Intelligence and the ESCI-U A Presentation for the Virginia Conference United Methodist Church November 2, 2011 November 2, 2011 Susan Brock Wilkes, Ph.D. Wilkes Consulting

2. Emotional Intelligence and the ESCI-U Virginia Conference Board of Ordained Ministry United Methodist Church November 7, 2012 November 7, 2012

3. What is “Intelligence”? Traditionally, we look at “IQ” – one’s cognitive capacity and functioning Traditionally, we look at “IQ” – one’s cognitive capacity and functioning IQ - “one’s ability to learn, recall, apply, think, reason, and abstract” IQ - “one’s ability to learn, recall, apply, think, reason, and abstract” Emotional Intelligence - understanding oneself and others, relating to people, and coping to be more successful in dealing with demands. Emotional Intelligence - understanding oneself and others, relating to people, and coping to be more successful in dealing with demands. IQ alone is not a good predictor of success in life and work; EQ is a powerful predictor of success at work IQ alone is not a good predictor of success in life and work; EQ is a powerful predictor of success at work

4. What is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional Intelligence is about our ability to be self-aware and how we manage ourselves! Emotional Intelligence is about our ability to be self-aware and how we manage ourselves!

5. About Emotional Intelligence Many studies show the impact of EQ at work: Many studies show the impact of EQ at work: When measuring ingredients for excellent performance, EI proved to be twice as important as IQ across organizational levels When measuring ingredients for excellent performance, EI proved to be twice as important as IQ across organizational levels Emotions determine 50-70% of the workplace climate Emotions determine 50-70% of the workplace climate EI grows with age (maturity) EI grows with age (maturity) Training, support, and feedback aid in more rapid development of EQ Training, support, and feedback aid in more rapid development of EQ

6. In his own words Daniel Goleman speaks about emotional intelligence and the new brain research on social intelligence… Daniel Goleman speaks about emotional intelligence and the new brain research on social intelligence… For more, see the video of Goleman speaking at the Google authors conference: http://www.youtube.com/wat ch?v=-hoo_dIOP8k For more, see the video of Goleman speaking at the Google authors conference: http://www.youtube.com/wat ch?v=-hoo_dIOP8k

7. SelfOthers Recognition Self-Awareness Social Awareness Regulation Self- Management Relationship Management Goleman’s EI Categories “If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self- awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

8. Self Awareness and Management Self Awareness Self Awareness Noticing internal thoughts and feelings, especially around stress and change. Noticing internal thoughts and feelings, especially around stress and change. Knowing strengths and weaknesses Knowing strengths and weaknesses Self Management Self Management Avoiding the “amygdala hijack” Avoiding the “amygdala hijack” Lessening reactivity Lessening reactivity Choosing wise action Choosing wise action Buffering stress and “overwhelm” Buffering stress and “overwhelm” Channeling emotions in useful ways Channeling emotions in useful ways

9. Amygdala Hijack! Don’t let it happen to you! Don’t let it happen to you!

10. Why is this such a big deal? Self-control affects performance! Self-control affects performance! Self-control affects effectiveness! Self-control affects effectiveness!

11. Stress and Performance

12. Social Awareness and Relationship Management Noticing and understanding the emotional signals of others Noticing and understanding the emotional signals of others Realizing our impact on the emotions of others Realizing our impact on the emotions of others Interacting in constructive ways Interacting in constructive ways Moving the emotions of others in positive directions Moving the emotions of others in positive directions

13. Recent examples of EQ in action Recent examples of EQ in action “great leadership works through the emotions”

14. EI and SI EI is how you master and motivate yourself EI is how you master and motivate yourself “50% of leadership is self-leadership” “50% of leadership is self-leadership” SI is your ability to motivate, inspire, lead SI is your ability to motivate, inspire, lead

15. Table Conversation #1 On a scale of 1-10 with ten being highest, how important are “emotional intelligence” and “social intelligence” ? On a scale of 1-10 with ten being highest, how important are “emotional intelligence” and “social intelligence” ? Share about a time when your emotional intelligence led the day? Share about a time when your emotional intelligence led the day? Share about a time when you allowed your amgdala to be hijacked? Share about a time when you allowed your amgdala to be hijacked?

16. Working with the ESCI-U A multi-rater assessment tool designed around emotional intelligence abilities A multi-rater assessment tool designed around emotional intelligence abilities Looks at five clusters of abilities Looks at five clusters of abilities

17. The 5 Clusters of Abilities

18. Partner UP! What are the most relevant competencies for ministry? What are the most relevant competencies for ministry? Reach an agreement on 3 competencies understanding that this is an empirical question. Reach an agreement on 3 competencies understanding that this is an empirical question.

19. Reviewing the ESCI-U Results Scan overall summary on p. 12. Look at: Scan overall summary on p. 12. Look at: Range of scores on average others’ rating Range of scores on average others’ rating How many arrows? How many arrows? Particular high and low others scores Particular high and low others scores Discrepancies between self and others (>.5) Discrepancies between self and others (>.5)

20. Detailed Review, pages 14-19 Look at range of self scores Look at range of self scores Look at range of others scores; # below 4.0 Look at range of others scores; # below 4.0 Identify “blind spots” (>.5 higher self ratings than others) Identify “blind spots” (>.5 higher self ratings than others) Identify areas where candidate is harder on self (.>5 higher others ratings than self) Identify areas where candidate is harder on self (.>5 higher others ratings than self) Identify strengths and opportunities for growth Identify strengths and opportunities for growth

21. Supporting the “Learning Agenda” The “Five Discoveries” Ideal Self Ideal Self Real Self Real Self Learning Agenda Learning Agenda Experimentation and Practice Experimentation and Practice Trusting Relationships Trusting Relationships Suggested Learning Activities Specific readings in EQ related topics Training (e.g., Nonprofit Learning Point; online and youtube resources) Individual Coaching Spiritual Practice, including mindfulness Mentoring

22. A Few Book Recommendations Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence Series of Goleman articles in HBR Series of Goleman articles in HBR The Leadership Challenge The Leadership Challenge Leadership from the Inside Out Leadership from the Inside Out The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook Learned Optimism Coaching Skills for Nonprofit Leaders and Managers Gifts Differing Crucial Conversations Getting to Yes Transitions Switch

23. Sample Questions Where are you now in relationship to where you want to be in emotional intelligence? Where are you now in relationship to where you want to be in emotional intelligence? What did you learn from the EQ assessment? What did you learn from the EQ assessment? What EQ strengths do you possess that relate to being effective in your clergy role? What EQ strengths do you possess that relate to being effective in your clergy role? In what areas of EQ might you want to enhance your skills? In what areas of EQ might you want to enhance your skills? What is the primary focus of your learning agenda moving forward? What is the primary focus of your learning agenda moving forward? See Coaching Skills for Nonprofit Leaders and Managers

24. Table Conversation #2 Based on what you’ve learned today, Based on what you’ve learned today, What stands out to you about emotional intelligence as a concept for effective clergy? What stands out to you about emotional intelligence as a concept for effective clergy? What might be possible with this new approach to reviewing candidates? What might be possible with this new approach to reviewing candidates? How do you personally want to use the information in your role on the Board? (be specific) How do you personally want to use the information in your role on the Board? (be specific) What is important to keep in mind as you proceed? What is important to keep in mind as you proceed?

25. Final questions and comments