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Bringing the Best Out of People
Presented by: Dr. Adrienne Pasek Introductions before slide 2
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Outline of the day Navigating emotions
Perceptions, feelings, absolutes Communication Ten Commandments for resolving conflict Neutrality Techniques for disagreeing without taking a position Negotiating Finding common ground Average 15 minutes per topic Group work 20 minutes Last slide and questions 15 minutes
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Navigating Emotions Perceptions Feelings Absolutes
Responding to an Angry Person paper
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ABSOLUTES Things will happen that you cannot control
You cannot change that which is out of your control The only change you can make is within yourself and
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Perceptions Reality is just a perception
Perception is a combination of beliefs, values, experiences Purple horses
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SCHEMAS Underlying cognitive structures and rules that consist of core beliefs and that determine how we codify, categorize, interpret experiences Develop early in life Beck, (1967, 1984)
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DYSFUNCTIONAL SCHEMAS
impair reality and the ability to think reasonably
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Six Universal Feelings
Anger Disgust Fear Happiness Sadness Surprise Anger: unmet expectations, Disgust: undesired expectations, Fear: scary expectations, Happiness: met expectations, Sadness: loss of expectations, Surprise: unexpected expectations
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Communication Speaking Listening Conveys meaning +
Interpretation of what was heard Before we begin talking about communication, body language, let’s talk about some situations
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Communication Research
7% of meaning is derived from the spoken word 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way the words are spoken) 55% of meaning is derived from facial expression
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Rules of Engagement What is the purpose of the message?
(Why do I need to know this?) informational, educational, personal What do you need me to feel? (universal feelings)
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More Rules of Engagement
Behavior is an outward expression of feelings/thoughts/perceptions
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Neutrality Techniques Tactics Strategies
Keeping a frame, paraphrasing, breathe, Break into groups
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Negotiation Finding Common Ground Sandbox 101
11:50 What you learned in Kindergarten, politeness, respect, caring
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