1. “I have to do it perfectly!” Carrie McMillen

2. “I have offended God and mankind because my work didn’t reach the quality it should have.” -Leonardo Di Vinci

3. a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable; especially : the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness -http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/perfectionism

4. I want everyone to like me. If I don’t do that, everyone will be disappointed. I started it, so I have to finish it.

5. o Self-oriented perfectionists – set high personal goals for themselves. o Society-prescribed perfectionists – believe that others have set high standards for them that they must live up to. o Other-oriented perfectionists – impose high standards on others in his/her life that the person is expected to live up to.

6. “Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.” -Harriet Braiker PerfectionismPursuit of Excellence Thinking less of yourself for getting a B instead of an A Thinking more of yourself for trying something new Being hard on yourself because you aren’t talented in every sport Choosing things you’re good at and also doing things just for fun Criticizing yourself for losing the student council election Congratulating yourself for being nominated and working hard to campaign, and deciding to run again next year!

7. Healthy Perfectionists Unhealthy Perfectionists Need order and organization Extremely high standards Self acceptance of mistakes Have anxiety about making mistakes Positive coping strategiesLack coping strategies View effort as importantNeed constant approval High parental expectations Perceived excessive expectations/criticism from others Question one’s own judgment

8. o Procrastinate or avoid doing their work o Feel that self-worth depends on performance o Experience anxiety, depression, and feelings of hopelessness. o Have stress induced health problems o Have problems with relationships o Are afraid of making mistakes and taking risks o Cannot be satisfied Perfectionists often…

9. Students who commit suicide tend to have: o above-average intelligence o extremely high expectations for themselves and others o a hard time accepting failure and loss What group is most likely to have those characteristics? Gifted perfectionist teens!

10. Parents often push their children, especially first born children, to do things early to stimulate intelligence. Erik Erikson said that students will become workaholics if they are only praised for their accomplishments and not their personal qualities. Pushing students to excel and focusing on their performance creates students who are afraid to take risks because they fear not getting approval.

11. Early successes fuel the student’s desire to be perfect. Gifted students believe they should never be less than perfect and set high, often unreachable goals. May be related to authoritarian parenting, unquestioning obedience, and punitive discipline. Students become dependent on external praise.

12. “The other kids in my class put me down for being smart. They call me “Einstein” and act shocked if I don’t get the highest score on a test.” -Jason, age 14 “Living up to be gifted can be a problem at school. I wish teachers would realize that just because you’re gifted doesn’t mean you’re smart in every subject.” – Charles, age 14 “My geometry teacher knows I get straight A’s in my other classes. He’s always saying things like, “I know you can do better in this class. I don’t think you’re trying hard enough.” -Kimberly, age 15

13. DON’T say… o What’s wrong with you? Why did you make this one B? Aren’t you gifted? o We want you to get All A’s. o Always finish what you start! DO SAY… o Do the best you can! o You win some, you lose some. o Better luck next time! o Live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow! o Great effort!

14. o Learn relaxation strategies o Practice making mistakes and dealing with those feelings o Focus on and celebrate successes o Plan reasonable goals o Make reasonable commitments o Be surrounded by positive people o Learn from mistakes! Parents and teachers can help students….

15. o Louisa May Alcott o Walt Disney o Steve Jobs o Michael Jordan o John F. Kennedy, Jr. o Marilyn Monroe THEY ALL MADE MISTAKES! BUT…they learned from their mistakes, took risks, and never gave up!

16. “Accident is the greatest inventor who ever lived.” – Mark Twain o Cheese o Chocolate Chip Cookies o Coca-Cola o Penicillin o Post-it Notes o Silly Putty

18. Adderholdt, M., & Goldberg, J. (1999). Perfectionism: what's bad about being too good?. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing. Clark, B. (2013). Supporting socio-emotional growth of gifted learners. Growing up gifted. (8th ed.). (pp. 99-102). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson. Galbraith, J., & Delisle, J. (1996). The gifted kids' survival guide. (pp. 70-79). Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing. Perfectionism. (2012). Merriam-Webster. Retrieved from http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/perfectionism