1. 9/13/20151 How a Righteous Life Makes for a Better Marriage A Study of the Sermon on the Mount.

2. 9/13/20152 Matthew 4:23— “And Jesus was going about in all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among the people.”

3. 9/13/20153 Matthew 5:1-48 Matthew 5:3-12—a description of a citizen in the kingdom. Matthew 5:13-16—a description of the citizen’s mission. Matthew 5:17-20—Christ’s relationship to the law.

4. 9/13/20154 Matthew 5:17—Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill.

5. 9/13/20155 Matthew 5:18--For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass away from the Law, until all is accomplished.

6. 9/13/20156 Matthew 5:19-20—Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and so teaches others, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I say to you, that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.

7. 9/13/20157 Christ’s Teachings on Exceeding Righteousness. We Need To Control Our Anger. We Need To Control Lust Which Is The Birthplace Of Adultery. We Are To Respect The Sanctity Of Marriage. We Are To Be Honest At All Times. We Are Not To Return Evil For Evil. We Need To Learn To Love As God Has Loved.

8. 9/13/20158 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority.

9. 9/13/20159 Matthew 5:21-26—“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22“But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24“leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25“Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26“Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.

10. Matthew 5:21-26 The principle taught (v.21) –Murder is wrong! The Lord’s teaching (v.22) –Anger without cause/spirit of contempt is wrong –How does anger typically manifest itself? 9/13/201510

11. When Anger Is Wrong: No just cause (Matt. 5:22; Prov. 19:19) Harbored and Conceives Evil (Eph. 4:26-27; Rom. 12:17; Mark 6:19; Prov. 22:24-25) Hasty, Soon Angry, or Quick Tempered (Jas. 1:19; Tit. 1:7; Prov. 14:17, 29; 15:18; 29:20, 22) Not Subject to Personal Control (Eph. 4:31; Col. 3:8; Prov. 19:11; 25:28; 29:11) 9/13/201511

12. Application to Marriage No communication Improper communication (Prov. 15:1; 15:23; 25:11) 9/13/201512

13. Application to Marriage 9/13/201513 No Communication Bad Attitude Improper Communication Rage, character assassinations, etc.

14. Application to Marriage Be Resolution Oriented 9/13/201514 What does unbridled anger accomplish? Instead of tearing down build up! How we treat our mate is a salvation matter God may not see it the way we see it!

15. 9/13/201515 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire for Your Spouse Alone.

16. 9/13/201516 Matthew 5:27-30—“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28“But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29“If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30“And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

17. Keep Your Desire for Your Spouse Alone What the Rabbis taught was correct (Ex. 20:14) Jesus was also concerned with the heart of the matter. –Lust—epithumeo—morally neutral, good or bad desire depending on the context. –Looks—Blepon—present tense, i.e. a continuous looking. 9/13/201517

18. Keep Your Desire for Your Spouse Alone Don’t look for the purpose of fantasizing sex Take drastic measures to remove the temptation –Avoid some people –Turn the computer, TV, etc. off –Discontinue the Internet, sell books, etc. 9/13/201518

19. 9/13/201519 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire for Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part.

20. 9/13/201520 Matthew 5:31-32—“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32“But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

21. Really Mean It When You Say, “Till Death Do Us Part” What the rabbis taught: “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.” Perverted the intent of Deuteronomy 24:1- 4. A command intended to discourage divorce was used to justify a lack of commitment. 9/13/201521

22. Jesus Taught: Commitment: Only ONE reason for divorce Marriage is permanent (Matt. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) Divorce is sin (Matt. 19:6; Mal. 2:13-16) Remarriage is adultery (Luke 16:18; Matt. 5:31-32) 9/13/201522

23. Applications: Possess an attitude of permanence in marriage Commitment is the glue that holds marriages together The difference between “good marriages” and “bad marriages” is often commitment The committed will seek solutions, not a way out! 9/13/201523

24. Effects of Commitment No contracting second adulterous marriages Kids aren’t enduring in broken families Divorce lawyers go out of business No bitter custody battles No children bearing feelings of guilt 9/13/201524

25. 9/13/201525 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty.

26. 9/13/201526 MATTHEW 5:33-37--“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.’ 34“But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne; 35“nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36“Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. 37“But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

27. 9/13/201527 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality.

28. 9/13/201528 Matthew 5:38-42—“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

29. 9/13/201529 Matthew 5:38—“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’

30. 9/13/201530 Exodus 21:24—“eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,

31. 9/13/201531 Lev. 24:19-20—‘If a man causes disfigurement of his neighbor, as he has done, so shall it be done to him— 20‘fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; as he has caused disfigurement of a man, so shall it be done to him. 21‘And whoever kills an animal shall restore it; but whoever kills a man shall be put to death.

32. 9/13/201532 Deut. 19:21—“Your eye shall not pity: life shall be for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.

33. 9/13/201533 Purpose of the Law: Purpose of the Law: It held a man responsible for what he did. It up held a plaintiff’s right to compensation and justice. It took vengeance out of the hands of a plaintiff and placed it in the hands of civil authorities. It mandated that the punishment fit the crime.

34. “Eye for eye, tooth for tooth” The Pharisees Perversion of the Law: A Right of Personal Vengeance Principle Taught by Jesus: We should not resist evil with evil (Romans 12:17, 21) 9/13/201534

35. Instead of Retaliation Endure Personal Insult Forgo Personal “Rights” Go the Extra Mile Don’t Withhold Benevolence 9/13/201535 Christians Are NOT Out to Even the Score

36. 9/13/201536 39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

37. 9/13/201537 39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

38. 9/13/201538 39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

39. 9/13/201539 39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

40. Applications to Marriage Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE –Do we insist on our rights? (1 Cor. 9:4-5) –Do my rights outweigh my mate’s needs? –I cannot control my mates’ actions, but I’m responsible to God for my actions and character (Ref. Eph. 5:28-29; 1 Pet. 3:7; 1 Pet. 3:1-2; Eph. 5:33) –Do we focus on giving or receiving? 9/13/201540

41. Applications to Marriage Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE Grace based marriages are focused on FORGIVENESS not SCOREKEEPING –Scorekeeping keeps tabs on the smallest infractions –Scorekeeping results in bitterness 9/13/201541

42. Applications to Marriage Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE Grace based marriages are focused on FORGIVENESS not SCOREKEEPING GRACE = FORGIVENESS 9/13/201542

43. Three Reasons to Forgive Relationship with God Relationship with My Mate Seeing the Results of Forgiveness in Marriage 9/13/201543

44. 9/13/201544 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It.

45. Love (agape) More than a feeling Seeks the highest good Is active 9/13/201545 If we can love our enemies when they don’t deserve it, then we can love our mates when they are “undeserving” of it.

46. “You Shall Be Perfect, Just As Your Father in Heaven Is Perfect” God loves us based upon who He is (Ref. Rom. 5:8) We love others based upon who we are 9/13/201546

47. 9/13/201547 Matthew 5:43-48—“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45“that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46“For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47“And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48“Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

48. 9/13/201548 Lev. 19:18--You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

49. 9/13/201549 Matthew 5:44--“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,

50. 9/13/201550 Matthew 5:45--“that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

51. 9/13/201551 Matthew 5:46-47--46“For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47“And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?

52. 9/13/201552 Matthew 5:48--“Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

53. 9/13/201553 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It.

54. 9/13/201554 The Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 5:21-48—Jesus condemned the Pharisees and scribes teaching. Matthew 6:1-18—Jesus condemned the Pharisees and scribes practices.

55. 9/13/201555 The Pharisees Manifest Pride and Hypocrisy Through Their giving of alms to be seen by men. (vv.1-4) Their prayer life. (vv.6-15) Their practices when fasting. (vv.16-18)

56. 9/13/201556 Matthew 6:1-34 Threats Against True Righteousness Matthew 6:1-18—Hypocritical Behavior. Matthew 6:19-34—Materialism.

57. 9/13/201557 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism.

58. 9/13/201558 Matthew 6:19-20—“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; 20“but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.

59. 9/13/201559 Matthew 6:21--21“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

60. 9/13/201560 Matthew 6:22-23--22“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. 23“But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

61. 9/13/201561 Matthew 6:24--24“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

62. 9/13/201562 25“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27“Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 28“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29“and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30“Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32“For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

63. 9/13/201563 33“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

64. 9/13/201564 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. Be Fair with Criticism.

65. 9/13/201565 Matthew 7:1-2—Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

66. 9/13/201566 Matthew 7:3-5—And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

67. 9/13/201567 Luke 6:35—Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

68. 9/13/201568 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. Be Fair with Criticism.

69. Be Fair with Criticism Jesus is not forbidding all judging (John 7:24; Matt. 18:15-17; Matt. 7:15-20) Jesus is forbidding the “fault finding” spirit (Matt. 7:1-5) 9/13/201569 We would do will to apply this principle to our marriages

70. Double Standards? In child rearing? In money management? In maturity? In communication with in-laws? 9/13/201570 Marriages face enough serious issues without mates manufacturing a few more.

71. 9/13/201571 PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program.) Escalation Invalidation Negative Interpretations Withdrawal And Avoidance

72. 9/13/201572 Matthew 7:6--“Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear your to pieces.”

73. 9/13/201573 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. Be Fair with Criticism. Pray for Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Spouse.

74. 9/13/201574 Matthew 7:7-11— “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened. Or what man is there among you, when his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he shall ask for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!”

75. 9/13/201575 Matthew 7:7-8— “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened.

76. 9/13/201576 Matthew 7:9-11—Or what man is there among you, when his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he shall ask for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

77. 9/13/201577 Matthew 7:7-8— “ Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened.

78. 9/13/201578 Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. Be Fair with Criticism. Pray for Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Spouse. Observe the Golden Rule in Marriage.

79. 9/13/201579 Matthew 7:12— “Therefore, however you want people to treat you, so treat them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

80. 9/13/201580 PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program.) Escalation Invalidation Negative Interpretations Withdrawal And Avoidance

81. 9/13/201581 Conclusion: Matthew 7:13-14 speaks of two paths. Matthew 7:15-19 speaks of two kinds of fruit. Matthew 7:24-27 speaks of two types of foundations.