1. Agenda 3/16 Focus: Editing for argument, organization and writing fluency 6 th hour: Sharing poem imitations Peer grading with the rubric: Focus on the 1 st two columns (Development of Position and Organization) SAS editing for Use of Language and Sentence Structure (password: ahswarriors) HW: Follow the website calendar. Remember that your cumulative vocab. test is tomorrow.

2. Its the final countdown… 55 hours to go… Tick tock, tick tock

3. Agenda 3/17 Focus: Transforming your essay into a glorious, shining piece of rhetorical brilliance Cumulative vocab. test: Units 1-7 A special presentation just for you ALIS editing: Whats wrong with my sentence? HW: Follow the website calendar.

4. Agenda 3/18 Focus: Transforming your essay into a glorious, shining piece of rhetorical brilliance Finish our riveting round of Whats wrong with my sentence? An intensive 20 minutes of self-editing The final round: Grading with the rubric HW: Put together your ALIS folder and plan on turning it in tomorrow (Friday 3 pm at the latest, no late work accepted).

5. Its Time To Play… Whats Wrong with My Sentence? Its fun for the whole family!

6. He regarded all natives as sly, ignorant, and not to be depended on. Issue: Parallel structure Fixed: He regarded all natives as sly, ignorant, and untrustworthy.

7. This passage depicts the roaring of the cannon, the running of the horses, and how afraid the inexperienced soldiers were. Issue: Parallel structure Fixed: This passage depicts the roaring of the cannon, the running of the horses, and the inexperience of the soldiers.

8. Capote emphasizes society's influence in the stereotyping of genders and the battle for supremacy between the two genders to control each other. Issue: Parallel structure/wordiness Fixed: Capote emphasizes the social stereotypes of genders and their battles for control.

9. It was during his freshman year that Jack discovered the existence of girls in the world. Issue: Wordiness Fixed: During his freshman year Jack discovered girls.

10. Her first solo flight alone was very frightening, but her second flight was really invigorating. Issue: Wordiness/violation of the Kakos bad word list (really and very) Fixed: Her first solo flight was frightening, but her second was invigorating.

11. The narrator had insomnia, walking helped him to relax. Issue: Comma splice (two independent clauses joined by only a comma) Fixed: The narrator had insomnia, but walking helped him to relax. The narrator had insomnia; walking helped him to relax. Though the narrator had insomnia, walking helped him to relax.

12. Edna was so consumed by her thoughts of Robert, she neglected her household duties. Issue: Comma splice Fixed: Edna was so consumed by her thoughts of Robert that she neglected her household duties. Because Edna was so consumed by her thoughts of Robert, she neglected her household duties.

13. The house was old and spacious; holding many memories. Issue: Misused semicolon (if you use a semicolon, you must have complete sentences on BOTH sides of it). Fixed: The house was old and spacious; it held many memories.

14. After Robert left for Mexico, Edna feels that the world is dull and colorless. Issue: Tense shift (leave your sentences in the present tense) Fixed: After Robert leaves for Mexico, Edna feels that world is dull and colorless.

15. At the beginning of the novel, the society regards Wilson as a Puddnhead; however, Wilson regained his reputations when he won the court case in the end. Issue: Tense shift Fixed: At the beginning of the novel, the society regards Wilson as a Puddnhead; however, Wilson regains his reputations when he wins the court case in the end.

16. Seth must attempt to be good again because he has done a lot of bad things. Issue: Kakos bad word list! (good, a lot, bad, things) Fix: Seth must attempt to be virtuous again because he has committed endless atrocities.

17. The protagonist does not conform. Issue: Kakos bad word list (not) Fixed: The protagonist refuses to conform.

18. By facing Macduff, Macbeth shows that he isnt afraid of death. Issue: Kakos bad word list (not) Fixed: By facing Macduff, Macbeth shows that he is unafraid of death.

19. Walker shows how one can regain their faith. Problem: Subject-verb agreement Walker shows how one can regain his or her faith. Walker shows how one can regain ones faith. Walker shows how we can regain our faith.

20. Fitzgerald questions whether ones social position can determine their happiness. Problem: Subject-verb agreement Fitzgerald questions whether ones social position can determine ones happiness. Fitzgerald questions whether peoples social positions can determine their happiness.

21. ALIS Folder Checklist Must haves: Your stapled, final draft (with a Works Cited page) At least two rough drafts with editing comments Your rough draft with my comments (if you turned one in) Optional: Your ALIS essay from last semester A mix CD for Ms. Leclaire to put her in a happy mood while she grades your essay