1. Purposes & Stages
of Dating

2. Dating Questions
Answer the following questions…be honest, no one will see your answers!
My first date was…
My dream date would be…
My most memorable date was…
My worst date was…
I think dating should be…
Now think about these questions as you take the notes on the Purpose of dating!

3. Purpose of Dating 1. Socialization
To develop appropriate social skills.
To practice getting along with others in different settings.

4. Purpose of Dating 2. Recreation
To have fun and enjoy the companionship of others.
To try new and different activities.

5. Purpose of Dating 3. Mate (Partner) Selection
To see others in many different settings.
To compare the personality and
characteristics of many people.

6. What is your Ideal Date?
Make a list of at least 15 creative date ideas. Dates may NOT exceed $10.00

7. Other Date Ideas…Write down 10 more for your notes
Go to the park play football or baseball Go to the zoo
Rafting Go to a museum
Rent Movies Go out for breakfast
Swimming Fireworks
Ride bikes to store and buy ice cream cones Play catch
Ice skating Dessert cook off with judges
Card games or board games Play on a school play ground
Watch cartoons; eat cereal and milk (wear pj’s) Go to a pet store
Candlelight dinner with happy meals Make ice-cream
Mud football/wrestling Make cookies or something
Roller skating Feed the ducks/have a picnic
Canoeing Go caving
Dancing (dance, dance revolution) Holiday activities
Mountain biking Batting cages
Make home-made ice cream Karaoke
Video game competition Do service for someone
Visit a rest home
Go to a video arcade
Scavenger hunt
Play pool
Sound scavenger hunt
Video Scavenger hunt
Basketball, tennis, volleyball, etc.
Play musical instruments (guitar hero, rock band)
Fly kites
Homeless shelter volunteer

8. The Purpose of Dating BOYS: When dating, Boys like it when Girls…
When dating, Boys hate it when Girls…
GIRLS: When dating, Girls like it when Boys…
When dating, Girls hate it when Boys…
Discuss

9. Stage One: Gushy Typical Comments “We have so many things in common.”
“No one else has ever felt quite like this before.”

10. Characteristics of Stage One
Always on time for dates
Laugh at each others jokes
Agree on everything
Artificial –both are on best behavior
Same likes: music, cars, people, food
Non-critical
Conversation keeps going
Need to be physical (always holding hands, hugging)
Writes the other persons name all over everything
Love the sound of their names together
Dating relationships are usually short
Everything is funny
Co-equals (where to eat, “you decide.” “No, you decide etc.)
Lots of kissing
Constantly saying “I love you”
Lots of talking to each other on the phone
Lots of text messaging, ing, instant messaging
Attend ready made entertainment (movies, dances etc.)

11. Stage Two: Playing Games
Typical Behaviors
Have hearts crossed out all over their notebooks.
Have swollen eyes from crying on the average of three times a day.

12. Characteristic of Stage Two
Have hearts crossed out all over their notebooks
Have swollen eyes from crying on average of three times a day
Remember who their friends are now, because they need someone to cry to.
Have lots of ups and downs
Very possessive and jealous
Comes late for dates or the girl is not ready
Fighting all the time
Power struggle-where to eat, etc.
A time of extremes: tears, happiness
Pettiness – little things made into big things

13. More Characteristics Stage Two
Pettiness- little things made into big things
A time to look at personality and character, not just appearance
Dating relationships like to be confined to one person
Personality traits values more than just an interest in the opposite sex
Feel more confident with the opposite sex now

14. Stage 3: Goal Directed Typical Comments
“Were planning our future together”
“I want YOU to be happy”
“ I will love you unconditionally”

15. Characteristics of Stage Three
They are glad to see each other do things with other friends
They trust one another
They are not all over each other whenever they’re alone
The are interested in seeing each other fulfill goals
They want each other to be happy
They are interested in each other’s long term happiness
It’s not all about short term pleasures
They can talk about non-romantic topics (in-laws, children, money, sex, religion, occupation, politics, holidays etc.)
They are comfortable being themselves
They may become engaged
More mature
They begin to remember things about each other and adapt to it (which foods they don’t like, they stay up late, they go to bed early, they are tight with money etc.)
They will often times start to make wedding plans

16. Miscellaneous Notes about the Stages…
1. Everyone move through the stages differently.
2. Everyone will move through the stages from time to time.
3. Teenage marriage often begin in stage one: but still need to move through the other stages, and often end up divorced.
4. Stage three is for marriage.
5. Stage three is not always followed by marriage.