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Chapter 8 Lecture/Recap
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“…personal information, shared intentionally, that another person would have trouble finding out without being told” (p. 155). “I decided to wear pink today” “I decided to wear pink today in support of my loved ones who have battled breast cancer” Verbal behaviors (intentional) “I really have a crush on Will but no one knows because I’m afraid he won’t like me back” VERSUS “You blush every time Will comes around—you must have a crush on him!”
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Must be INTENTIONAL What, how, how much Must trust the individual How do we know? Disclosing private information Private (reflection of self-concept) vs. public (our public image) Level of risk involved -- WHY?
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Private vs. Public History vs. Story More risk associated with story
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Individual differences (ties to subjectivity) The need for openness and disclosure Culture Sex and Gender Type and life of relationship (3 patterns—p. 16o) Disclosure often levels off or decreases Framing disclosure -- based on relationship type Example:(8:00 mark) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puObmB1Ga3Q
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Great deal of disclosure in few interactions Usually occurs between 2 people in close relationships Exceptions? Ex: 3 friends discussing a break up; the bus rider phenomenon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8p2dYpeO6U
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Reciprocal process Immediate? Matching self-disclosure vs. concern Example: Clip (Charlotte and Miranda) Occurs over time Relationship development linked with self- disclosure
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Dialectics Theory Tension – privacy vs. disclosure Four ways to address this tension Cyclic alternation (disclose or keep private at different times) Segmentation (certain topics for separate settings) Selection (choose one side; ignore the other) Integration (neutralizing—happy medium, disqualifying—taboo topics, reframing)
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Social Penetration Theory/Model http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bMcXVe8zIs – why is this an example of penetration theory? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bMcXVe8zIs Breadth vs. Depth Application Exercise, -Part 1 (5pts): Draw your onion! Consider each level as more information. Also consider different relationships. Where would you put discussions of: Your relationship with a significant other Your political views Your religious views Your goals and aspirations General information about your family Detailed information about your family Detailed information about your medical history Your hobbies, interest, favorite things Your pet peeves and dislikes What would it take for you to peel back each layer?
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Johari (Joseph + Harry) Window Four panes: Open, Hidden, Blind, and Unknown Application Exercise, Part 2 (5pts): Draw out your Johari Window for these different encounters/relationships: With your parent With your best friend With your professor
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Psychological (e.g. catharsis) or physical well being Self awareness Relationships Begin a relationship Maintain a relationship Satisfy expectations of a good relationship Escalate a relationship
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To avoid hurt/rejection Consider “ambushing” from our discussion on listening To avoid conflict/protect a relationship To keep image and/or individuality To reduce stress
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Owning (I-Statements) Honesty Consistency Non-distracting verbal cues Relevancy (consider the context) To situation and conversation Risks vs. Benefits analysis Predict reactions/responses (of the receiver) and effects (on the relationship) Appropriateness Amount, type, receiver
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2 Application Exercises (1 HW; 1 In Class) Quiz (5 questions) – Chapter 9, Conflict Group meetings (last hour) – Bring laptops and materials Looking ahead… Application paper due Monday Week of July 7 th : Film analysis Substitute/online day? Moving date of debate? Finalized plans Monday
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