1. Module Five: Listening

2. Please do the following:
List the three best listeners you know.
Do you dislike any of the three people you listed?
List three of the worst listeners you know
Do you like any of these three people?
List five characteristics each of the best and worst listeners you know
Friendly, warm, open, empathetic, honest, sincere
Closed, impatient, nervous, angry, unwilling to share

3. Interpersonal Listening
In interpersonal communication,
listening is the activity to which we devote most of our time

4. The Stages of Listening
Hearing/Receiving
Understanding
Remembering
Evaluating
Responding

5. Stage One: Hearing/Receiving
Focus your attention on the speaker, not on what you’ll say next
Focus your attention on the speaker’s verbal and nonverbal messages
Avoid distractions in the environment
Maintain your role as listener

6. Stage Two: Understanding
Relate the speaker’s new information to what you already know
See the speaker’s messages from the speaker’s point of view
Ask questions for clarification
Rephrase the speaker’s ideas to check on your understanding of the speaker’s thoughts and feelings

7. Stage Three: Remembering
Identify the central ideas and the major support advanced
Summarize the important points of the message
Repeat names and key concepts to yourself
If this is a formal talk, identify and visualize the organizational structure of the information

8. Are You Listening? Are You Remembering?
50%
now
25%
In 24 hrs
12.5%
In 7 days

9. Word List page 95 Write down all the words you remember
There are twelve words – how many did you remember?

10. Remember:
Repeat an important idea or piece of information after you hear it; say it out loud if you can
Associate a word, phrase, or idea with something that describes it
Visualize a word, phrase, or idea
Use mnemonics; a memory aid that is based on something simple like a pattern or rhyme (acronyms, poems, etc.)

11. Stage Four: Evaluating
Resist evaluation until you fully understand the speaker’s point of view
Assume the speaker’s goodwill; ask for clarification on points to which you object
Distinguish facts from inferences, opinions, and personal interpretation by the speaker
Identify any biases, self-interests, or prejudices that may lead the speaker to slant information unfairly
USE YOUR CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS

12. Stage Five: Responding
Be supportive of the speaker by using varied backchanneling cues (I see, yes, uh-huh)
Express support for the speaker in your final responses
Own your own responses; state your thoughts and feelings as your own, using I-messages

13. Responding Styles
Judgmental/Evaluative
Advice
Questions
Supportive

14. Listening to Respond Respond verbally and non verbally
Paraphrase: the ability to restate what people say in a way that indicates you understand them
When you paraphrase, you go beyond the words you hear so that you understand the feelings and underlying meaning that accompany the words.

15. Your Turn!
Complete “Test Yourself” on page 97
What do you do when you do your BEST listening?

16. Listening Strategies and Skills
Most people talk at about 125 – 150 words/minute
Most people think 3 – 4 times faster than that
Thought speed – the speed at which most people can think compared with the speed at which they can speak

17. Listening Strategies and Skills
Poor listeners daydream, talk, notes, plan response…
Conscientious listeners use their extra thought speed to enhance all types of listening by:
Ensuring they HEAR what someone says
Determining the MEANING of a message
Identifying and summarizing KEY IDEAS
REMEMBERING what someone says
EMPATHIZING with a person’s expressed FEELINGS
ANALYZING and EVALUATING arguments
Determining the most appropriate way to RESPOND to what they hear

18. Feedback Provide appropriate feedback – verbal and nonverbal
Listen before you speak
make sure you understand the speaker’s message before reacting, either positively or negatively (bring your emotions under control)
Listen before you Leap!!!

19. Take Notes That Matter We listen at about 25% efficiency
Take notes of important facts and big ideas
remember they do not include the nonverbal cues
Effective listeners adjust their note taking to the content, style, and organization pattern of a speaker - adaptability

20. Listening and Culture Culture impacts our listening:
Language and speech: no one speaks exactly the same – different meanings/different experiences
Direct and indirect styles – say what you mean/polite not literal truth
Nonverbal differences – display rules
Feedback – direct, honest/positive rather than truthful

21. Men as listeners: Listening and Gender Desire respect
Display expertise
Prefer more factual topics
Give fewer listening cues
Make less eye contact
Listen less to women than women do to men

22. Listening and Gender (continued)
Women as listeners:
Desire to be liked
Express interest
Rarely interrupt
Give many listening cues
Make more eye contact
Listen more to men than men do to women

23. The Purposes of Listening: The Same As the Purposes of Communication
Relate
Learn
Influence
Help
Play
Please read the “Skills Toolbox” on page 99

24. Difficult Listeners Static listener – no feedback
Monotonous feedback giver – same response…
Overly expressive listener – react to all
Eye avoider – looks everywhere but at you
Preoccupied listener – listens to other things at same time
Thought-completing listener – finishes your thought/sentences

25. Listening Dimensions Empathic vs. Objective
Non-judgmental vs. Critical: watch your biases
Surface vs. Depth: literal or deeper
Active vs. Inactive: you understand all message – verbal, non verbal, content, feelings
READ pgs

26. Purposes of Active Listening
Show you are listening
Check understanding
Express acceptance
Explore feelings and thoughts

27. Techniques for Active Listening
Paraphrase the speaker’s thoughts
Express understanding of the speaker’s feelings
Ask questions

28. In Your Teams Complete the following:
A kindergarten teacher has told your five year old cousin that she or he will win a prize if she or he can be a good listener for one week. What would you teach your cousin to help her or him win the prize?
Compare and contrast the communicative behaviour of a person you go to when you need to vent and a person you avoid when you need to vent
How do you listen differently when you are listening for understanding versus when you are listening for pleasure?

29. And then….
Complete Assignment 5.2 on Page 110

30. Please bring your laptops to next class
We will be working on
Developing your personal mission statement