1. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd.

2. Resistance or Reluctance? ERA Conference 2004 (and the story of our trip to Japan) Jane Katz, M.A., R.C.C.

3. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. We’ve done much to address risk and need, but there is so much more to do to address responsivity. Our annual Show and Tell Sessions are about this.

4. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. SHOW AND TELL

5. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Growth is always possible…. As long as you’re breathing there’s more right than there’s wrong. Jon Kabat-Zinn

6. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. How does it change our work with our clients if we: See Reluctance, Not Resistance.

7. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Resistance or Reluctance Clinical ResistanceReluctance Common Usage Resistance Definition Unconscious opposition to cooperation with therapeutic process Emotion based disinclination to change or desire to maintain the status quo Conscious opposition or striving against therapeutic process Intervention Interpretation of transference or the unconscious dynamic Empathy for underlying emotion, attempts to remove barriers and exploration of benefits of change Confrontation and boundary setting

8. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. The J & Z Rules of Living In all things, in all our relationships. Be Nice – to self and others Be Curious – with self and others Be Committed – to self and others What doesn’t fit in there?

9. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Successful Completion Studies suggest of the following three groups number 3 has the lowest recidivism rate and number 2 has the highest recidivism rate. 1.Those who never take a program. 2.Those who drop out of a program. 3.Those who complete a program. Keep them in the room.

10. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. ANXIETY Frequently defensive behaviour about attending programs has to do with anxiety. Public speaking Public embarrassment Literacy The unknown.

11. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Privilege What makes it possible for some people to make relationships work well? To live pro-social lives?

12. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Unearned Privilege – an invisible package of unearned assets which I can cash in on each day, but about which I remain oblivious. These include tools, maps, guides, passports, codebooks, emergency gear. -MacIntosh

13. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Many of our clients grew up without these things…. “It is like going to a country where you can only learn to speak part of the language and everything else is always kept away from you.”

14. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. I can be pretty sure I know all the rules of play, and any I don’t know I can learn.

15. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Equality means we all have the same barriers.

16. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Relationship One of the best risk predictors and one of the strongest risk factors for men in the community is disruptions in their relationships. What that means is they value them highly and feel a great deal of stress when there is a disruption in the relationship.

17. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Why is a focus on relationship stability and health such a Low Priority for Programs for Men who are incarcerated?

18. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. It Must Be About Creating Relationship Stability …not just ending the abuse.

19. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Emotional Intelligence A wonderful framework for competency development. Self- awareness Self-regulation Motivation Empathy Compassion Social skills

20. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Help clients to rebuild a foundation of personal safety, trust, social skills and self- work.

21. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy The process of doing teaching cognitive skills to difficult clients.

22. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Validation of a truth. Merge opposites. It makes sense. Acceptance and Change. Empathy and Helpful Action. What do you need to do “right now” that would be helpful? Coach in the practice of skills. Learn to cope with the world as it is. Seek commitment regularly – both client and therapist – to avoid “therapy-interfering behaviours” on the part of client and therapist.

23. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Deep Change….What is required? We must work at the bottom of the foundation – at the level of emotional safety to stop what happens at the top. The maintenance of dignity in all interactions.

24. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Hierarchy of Abuse Spousal homicide Assault Verbal and Emotional Abuse

25. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Canada 1999 equal rates of self- reported assault for men and women, however… 34,000 charges of spousal violence in 2000. 85% were assaults on women. Estimated only 37% of cases were reported. 84 spousal homicides in 2002 (67 women killed by husbands or boyfriends) 75% killed by current partners. 20% were sexually assaulted.

26. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. 2003 - Japan 197 homicides (120 out of 197 was by husband) 1250 injuries (1197 out of 1250 committed by husband) 1666 assaults (1528 out of 1666 committed by husband)

27. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Japan (2002) 15.5% of women have suffered physical assault from spouse or boyfriend. 1 in 20 indicated experiencing life threatening violence. 5.6% of women have suffered frightening threats from spouse or boyfriend. 9% have suffered sexual coercion. 1 in 5 have experienced some form of abuse.

28. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Canada Women 3 times more likely to experience injury and 5 times more likely to require medical attention. 38% of women victims feared for their lives. 6% of male victims feared for their lives.

29. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Same work different language

30. © Jane Katz, J & Z Consulting Ltd. Traditional Japanese Coffee House