1. COACHING FOR IMPROVED PERFORMANCE: ENGAGING CONFIDENTLY IN CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS 9.25.12

2. BY THE END OF THIS SESSION, YOU WILL HAVE… Considered conversation skills and behaviors that contribute to the building of successful relationships and extraordinary leadership Participated in a structured conversation Engaged in collaborative problem-solving

3. SUSAN SCOTT, FIERCE CONVERSATIONS Our lives are a series of relationships, the success or failure of which happen one conversation at a time. Extraordinary leadership is the result of having fierce conversations with ourselves first and then with others. Only then can any of us hope to provide the caliber of leadership that our organizations need and desire.

4. A PARTICULARLY VALUABLE RESOURCE…

5. 7 PRINCIPLES OF A FIERCE CONVERSATION Principle 1: Master the courage to interrogate reality. Reality has a habit of shifting. People change and forget to tell each other. Not only do we neglect to share this with others, we are skilled at masking it even to ourselves. Principle 2: Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real. While many fear "real", it is the unreal conversation that should scare us to death. When the conversation is real, change occurs before the conversation is even over.

6. 7 PRINCIPLES OF A FIERCE CONVERSATION Principle 3: Be here, be prepared to be nowhere else. Our work, our relationships, our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time. While no single conversation is guaranteed to transform a relationship, any single conversation CAN. Speak and listen as if this the most important conversation you will ever have with this person. It may be. Principle 4: Tackle your toughest challenge today. Burnout doesn't occur because we're solving problems; it occurs because we're trying to solve the same problems over and over. The problem named is the problem solved. Confront the real obstacles. Travel light - agenda free.

7. 7 PRINCIPLES OF A FIERCE CONVERSATION Principle 5: Obey your instincts. Don't just trust your instincts - obey them. Tune in. Pay attention. What we label as illusion is the scent of something real coming close. Principle 6: Take responsibility for your emotional wake. The conversation is not about the relationship; the conversation is the relationship. Learning to deliver the message without the load allows you to speak with clarity, conviction, and compassion.

8. 7 PRINCIPLES OF A FIERCE CONVERSATION Principle 7: Let silence do the heavy lifting. When there is a whole lot of talking going on, conversations can be so empty of meaning they crackle. Slow down the conversation, so that insight can occur in the space between words, and you can discover what the conversation really wants and needs to be about.

9. USING A STRUCTURE TO FACILITATE THE CONVERSATION 1.Be clear about what you want from the conversation and what you do NOT want from the conversation: What do I want for myself? What do I want for others? What do I want from the relationship? How would I behave if I really wanted those results?

10. USING A STRUCTURE TO FACILITATE THE CONVERSATION 2.Establish a mutual purpose and find common ground: Find a shared goal—it reduces stress Clarify the common outcome

11. USING A STRUCTURE TO FACILITATE THE CONVERSATION 3.STATE your course: S hare your facts (start with least controversial and most persuasive) T ell your story (explain what you are beginning to conclude) A sk for other’s facts and stories T alk about what is fact and what is assumption E ncourage differing views

12. USING A STRUCTURE TO FACILITATE THE CONVERSATION 4.Actively listen to understand Express interest Respectfully acknowledge emotions Restate what you have heard to reflect understanding State your agreement, where fitting When there are significant differences, compare the two views as opposed to pointing out right and wrong

13. USING A STRUCTURE TO FACILITATE THE CONVERSATION 5.Finish clearly Determine any action to be taken and by whom Establish any timelines for completion of actions Schedule a follow-up time

14. EXPERIENCE THE CONVERSATION Choose a scenario that reflects an area where you would like practice Take a few minutes to think about what you want from the conversation Role play or process the conversation you might have Process the role play

15. WINDSHIELD WORK Role play/process the other scenarios