1. Lesson 13 – Family Conflict and Crises Robert Wonser

2. 2 Family Conflict and Crises

3. 3 Conflict  What do you think of when you hear the word conflict?

4. 4 What family environment is best for children?  Some conflict is inevitable and healthy  How conflict is handled is critical  Positive and calm family environment makes children feel...  safe and secure  loved and wanted

5. 5 How are Children Affected by Conflict?  When parents fight, children feel  Stressed  Anxious and may withdraw  Self-blame  fight is about them  they try to make peace and fail  Children of violent HH tend to grow up to be perpetrators or victims

6. 6 Intrapsychic/Personal Causes of Conflict  Originate within the individual  Inner drives, instincts, values pull against each other  These conflicts come from family of origin issues and early childhood  Can be:  Unrealistic fears and anxieties  Neurotic needs  Emotional illness  Depression  Mood swings  Solution = resolve personal issues first, then relationship

7. 7 Intrasomatic/Physical Causes of Conflict  Fatigue  Hunger  Overwork  Headaches  Low blood sugar  Medications  Cause conflict because they result in:  irritability  impatience  distorted reasoning  low tolerance for frustration

8. 8 Interpsychic/Interpersonal Causes of Conflict  Based in intimate interactions  Caused by  Misunderstanding  Emotional withdrawal  Miscommunication  Difficulty resolving differences

9. 9 Situational/Environmental Causes of Conflict  Living conditions in household  Societal or cultural strains  Unexpected events  Situations can trigger personal or interpersonal sources of conflict

10. 10 Crises  Drastic change in course of events  Can be good or bad change  Turning point that changes the future  External  floods, fires, war  Internal  divorce, alcoholism, loss of family member, family violence

11. 11 11 Process of Adjustment

12. 12 How people cope with crises  Spirituality  Family support  Sense of humor

13. 13 Violence  The intentional use of physical or symbolic force by an individual aimed at hurting or injuring another person.

14. 14 Family Violence  Affects every class, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation  May or may not = physical injury  Maintain control  Society legitimizes some violence:  Spanking  Video games / movies / war  Societal norms changing

15. 15 Family Violence and Abuse  Under reported in the US  10-18% of adults experience abuse from their partners  FBI, Bureau of Justice and other agencies report 1 million rapes, assaults, and robberies occur among partners each year  85% female victims  1/3 of those 30 and under have experienced dating violence  2002-33% of ♀ murder victims were murdered by a current or former intimate partner (CFIP) (4% ♂ were)  1 in 12 ♀ will be stalked in her lifetime

16. 16 Family Violence and Abuse, continued  34% ♀ were sexually coerced by CFIP  Native American ♀ have the highest likelihood of rape and the offender is most likely to be a stranger  Young black ♀ have the highest rates of CFIP violence  #1 killer of black ♀ 15-34 years is homicide by CFIP  3-10 million kids witness domestic violence annually  Costs  medical costs  damaged property  lost wages

17. 17 Verbal abuse  Words that cause mental or psychological distress  shaming  threatening  swearing  belittling  humiliation  excessive jealousy or possessiveness

18. 18 Physical abuse  Causes physical distress to a person  hitting  kicking  the use of objects to hurt another person  rape  other forced or coerced sexual activities

19. 19 Non-verbal abuse  Use of symbolic force  slamming a door  destroying an object/property of another  tearing up a photograph  silence  sulking  isolation  economic deprivation

20. 20 20 Neglect  not providing food to dependents  not providing medical care

21. 21 Factors that contribute to violence in relationships  cultural values  gender roles  family history of violence  drug and alcohol abuse  dependency  jealousy, possessiveness, and suspicion  need to control  unhappiness and dissatisfaction  anger and aggressiveness

22. 22 22

23. 23 23 Why Women Stay  Abuse starts insidiously and gradually  Childhood history of abuse  Commitment  Underestimate the degree of danger  Fear  Accept blame=think she can stop it  Emotional dependency/low self-esteem  Guilt  Legitimate  Love him

24. 24 Effects of Child Abuse  More aggressive  Behaves negatively  Doesn’t get along well with others  Does poorly in school  Poor problem solving  Long-term adjustment problems

25. 25 Abuse is LESS likely in families where  spouses have an egalitarian relationship  they share equal decision-making power in regard to finances, purchases, vacations, etc.  the marriage is monogamous  normal disagreements are resolved peacefully  there is outside support for the abused and the abused seeks it after the first incident

26. 26 Elder abuse is MORE likely when…  The elder abused the adult child as a child  The elder has decreased functioning  The abuser may not understand the disability  The abusive adult child may use drugs or alcohol

27. 27 Stages of Dying and Grief Elisabeth Kubler-Ross  Denial or shock  Anger  Bargaining  Depression  Acceptance