1. Habits of Effective Teens
Milby Mentor Program 2011

2. In the past meetings, we discussed 2 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
In the past meetings, we discussed 2 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. Today we will discuss Habit #3.
Habit 1 : Be proactive
Habit 2 : Begin with the end in mind
Habit 3 : Put first things first
Habit 4 : Think win-win
Habit 5 : Seek first to understand, then to be
understood
Habit 6 : Synergize
Habit 7 : Sharpen the saw
The 7 habits can help you:
1. Get control of your life
2. Improve your relationships
3. Increase your self confidence
4. Be happy! 

3. Habit #1Be Proactive Recap…
A proactive person takes responsibility for his/her life.
Reactive people make choices based on feelings, moods and emotions

4. Proactive people have the following:
Self-awareness
Conscience
Imagination
Willpower
I can stand apart from myself and observe my thoughts and actions.
I can listen to my inner voice to know right from wrong.
I can envision new possibilities.
I have the power to choose.

5. Proactive people:
Know what they stand for and have a strong set of values.
Listen to their “better” selves.
Realize they have choices and take responsibility for those choices.
Bounce back when something bad happens in their lives.
Always look at all the options.
Focus on things they can do something about, don’t worry about the other things.

6. Habit #2 Begin with the end in mind
Recap
Habit #2 Begin with the end in mind
Define your mission and goals in life.
Effective people shape their own future with their personal mission statement as their guide.

7. To determine where you’re headed, ask yourself the following questions:
What qualities do I want to develop in myself?
What contributions do I want to make to others and my community?
What kind of things will I need to have for the kind of future I want?

8. To begin with the end in mind…
You must know where you want to go, who you want to be, and what you want to achieve in life.
You need a mission statement.
A mission statement is a personal credo or motto that states what your life is about.

9. Habit #3 Put First Things First
Recap
Habit #3 Put First Things First
Understand the difference between urgency and importance
Learn to put first things first in your life

10. Review Terms Goals Important Planner Role Urgent
A specific thing you are trying to accomplish
An activity you find valuable and that contributes to your mission, values and high-priority goals
A person who consciously looks ahead and plans with specific goals in mind
The position you occupy in relation to another
An activity you or others feel requires immediate attention
Goals
Important
Planner
Role
Urgent

11. Last week, you were asked to…
Do one thing that would make a significant difference in the roles you listed. Share with your group what you have identified in the previous activity, write one goal next to each role.

12. By the end of this session, you will….
Understand Win-Win
Understand how courage and determination create win-win relationships
Understand how to create win-win agreements

13. Habit # 4
Think Win-Win

14. Important Terms What kind of person are you?
Lose-lose
Lose-Win
Win-Lose
Win-Win
People with this paradigm approach differences with fear.
People with a lose-win mindset are easily intimidated and readily give in or go along with others
These people achieve what they want at the expense of others
These people believe that everyone can win

15. Life is an “All-You-Can-Eat” Buffet
With your group, talk about an experience where you had a win-lose mentality. How did you feel about it? What were the short-term and long- term consequences? Would you do things differently now?

16. Life is an “All-You-Can-Eat” Buffet
With your group, talk about an experience where you practiced lose-win or someone acted in a lose-win way toward you. What were the short-term and long-term consequences? How do you feel?

17. The following exercise will help you start living Habit 4
Discuss a specific situation that you may face in the next seven days that will require win- win thinking- it might be during a music lesson, at work, in a challenging class, or at home with your family. How will you prepare yourself to think win-win?

18. Competition Gives Way to Cooperation
List some activities in your personal life and school life that encourage:
Competition:
Cooperation:

19. Win-Win Agreements Desired Results Mowing the lawn.
Keeping the lawn maintained.
Watering the flowers.
Guidelines
Saturday,A.M
Keep grass2-3” in length
Resources
Lawn mower
Human power
Water, hoses, sprinklers, etc
Accountability
Look at lawn together, Saturday , P.M
Both of us are pleased.
Benefits/
Consequences
$ Weekly. Compensation in $ . Use of car Saturday evenings.
No money. No car.

20. Win-Win Agreements Based on previous activity, Complete the chart for student/teacher win-win agreements.
Desired Results
Guidelines
Resources
Accountability
Benefits/
Consequences

21. Your assignment….
Identify one situation in your personal life and school life that could be better for both people if win-lose were replaced by win-win thinking– if cooperation replaced competition.