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Published byLeonard Johns Modified over 9 years ago
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How to Raise a Child with High EQ Becoming a High EQ Parent
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Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10 What must you teach your child about emotions?
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Near-Perfection Disappointment, Frustration and Optimal Failure Sense of Self & Other Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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If you know everything… no need for your child to communicate clearly If you understand everything… no need for your child to understand self or others If you protect from everything… no need for your child to become strong and wise If you handle everything… no need for your child to be capable, resourceful and creative Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Play is the work of children …Anna Freud Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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“a subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to… … monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions … discriminate among them … use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (Salovey & Mayer 1989) Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Empathy Expressing & understanding feelings Controlling one’s temper Independence Adaptability Being well-liked Interpersonal problem solving Persistence Friendliness Kindness Respect Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Each is a mix of what we get & what we become Natural ability/ 10,000 hours Temperament/ Environment Both develop step by step Each impacts the other Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT Measurable Stable after Age 6 EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT Not measurable, but recognizable Grows and develops throughout life Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Emotions are natural responses, all part of one wide range of feeling and expression Cutting off the “bad” ones impacts our ability to feel and express all the others Ideas of which emotions are “bad” change over time Parents may feel obligated to prevent their children from feeling or expressing “bad” emotions Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Understand what’s essential Know yourself and your style Take an affirmative approach to caring and discipline Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Consistent and strict rules Expects obedience and respect Discourages questions or opinions Devoted to structure and tradition Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Situational guidelines instead of rules Passive expectations for behavior Encourages questions and opinions Devoted to accepting and nurturing children as individuals Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Balance clear limits with a nurturing approach Give guidance and structure without being overly controlling Explain decisions and allow children to have input, while remaining “the bottom line” Value independence but hold high standards for responsibility to others Encourage and praise competence Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Accept Imperfection Accept how you parent, and how you want to parent Balance Yourself Balance with Others Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Participate in a planned, active and reflective way Follow your child’s lead Praise honestly and accurately Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Know your rules Teach expectations Prevent problems Shape behavior Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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First step: Warning Broken Rule: Punishment that’s immediate, appropriate & commensurate Options: Learn to use a range of discipline techniques Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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Reprimand Natural consequence Time-out Taking away a privilege Overcorrection Behavior system Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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April 7: EQ Thinking Skills (Shapiro, Part 3) May 5: Self-Motivation and Achievement Skills (Shapiro, Part 6) Chase Collegiate School 3/3/10
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