1. Social Development St. Maximilian Kolbe Parents Group April 23, 2012 Charlie Robey Charlier@cciu.org 484-237-5246 Charlie Robey Charlier@cciu.org 484-237-5246

2. WELCOME EVERYONE

4. Behavior is:

6. Communication?

7. “I Want A Candy Bar,…”

10. BEHAVIOR And Its Impact on STAGES OF FRIENDSHIPS BEHAVIOR And Its Impact on STAGES OF FRIENDSHIPS

11. FRIENDSHIP – Ages Up to 3  Not what is thought of as friendships  Based on shared interest in an item – toy, book, sandbox, etc  Brief and transient  Not what is thought of as friendships  Based on shared interest in an item – toy, book, sandbox, etc  Brief and transient

12. Friendship – Ages 3-5  Friends begin to seek others out  Boys’ friendships look very different from girls  Boys usually show closeness by running, jostling, wrestling  girls are more verbal, tend to spend more quiet time together and show more nurturing behaviors  able to agree about roles and rules  Friends begin to seek others out  Boys’ friendships look very different from girls  Boys usually show closeness by running, jostling, wrestling  girls are more verbal, tend to spend more quiet time together and show more nurturing behaviors  able to agree about roles and rules

13. Ages 3-5 Continued  prefer to play with similar children – age and gender  more social approaches with more positive and cooperative social interactions and more complex play  also more arguments, more threats and hostility between friends!  most likely because they spend more time interacting together  Friends also resolve conflict  prefer to play with similar children – age and gender  more social approaches with more positive and cooperative social interactions and more complex play  also more arguments, more threats and hostility between friends!  most likely because they spend more time interacting together  Friends also resolve conflict

14. FRIENDSHIPS Middle Childhood (6-10 years)  largely gender bound  rules of friendship are tested and re- evaluated  begin to test their social power and to find their place in the social pecking order  time when bullying can begin in earnest  gossip becomes a reality  largely gender bound  rules of friendship are tested and re- evaluated  begin to test their social power and to find their place in the social pecking order  time when bullying can begin in earnest  gossip becomes a reality

15. Definition of Bullying:  “Bullying is when someone repeatedly and purposely says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself because one person has greater status, control or power than the other.”

16. Signs to look for when distinguishing Possible signs that a situation is not a bullying incident:  When two students show an equal response, such as they are both angry or upset, or laughing, it is less likely a bullying situation.  However each case is different, and an equal response may still be a case of bullying. Possible signs that a situation is not a bullying incident:  When two students show an equal response, such as they are both angry or upset, or laughing, it is less likely a bullying situation.  However each case is different, and an equal response may still be a case of bullying.

17. FRIENDSHIPS Middle Childhood (6-10 years)  friendships last for a year or less  move past just having fun playing together  begin to support each other and affirm each other in ways that parents cannot  help them know where they fit in the world outside their family.  expect friends to be loyal and to stick up for them.  friendships last for a year or less  move past just having fun playing together  begin to support each other and affirm each other in ways that parents cannot  help them know where they fit in the world outside their family.  expect friends to be loyal and to stick up for them.

18. FRIENDSHIP - Adolescents  bound up with intense feelings  report that they have fewer friends on average than younger children  spend increasing amounts of time with peers  more likely to include members of the opposite sex  bound up with intense feelings  report that they have fewer friends on average than younger children  spend increasing amounts of time with peers  more likely to include members of the opposite sex

19. FRIENDSHIP - Adolescents  most trusted with all the young person's hopes, fears and secrets  boys however, more closely guard their secrets – sharing is a test of friendship  recognize that friends can have a degree of autonomy and independence apart from them  a growing sense of connectedness with a broader social group  most trusted with all the young person's hopes, fears and secrets  boys however, more closely guard their secrets – sharing is a test of friendship  recognize that friends can have a degree of autonomy and independence apart from them  a growing sense of connectedness with a broader social group

20. BEHAVIORS – Why they occur!

23.  They can’t get your goat if they don’t know where your goat is tied up.

24. #1 Consequence Strategy Pay more attention to the behaviors you want than the behaviors you don’t want!

25. - a consequence that results in increasing or maintaining the future rate of the behavior it follows - a consequence that results in decreasing the future rate of the behavior it follows 1. 2.2. -anything that happens after behavior CONSEQUENCE 25

26. Consequence* Pay attention to:  What the adult(s) do  Give a verbal reprimand  Keep child from preferred activity  Send to timeout  Ignore the behavior  What the other children do  Laugh at the child  Imitate the child  Ignore the child * “Nothing” is not an option! 26

27. Reinforcement – VERBAL PRAISE  Tell the child what he or she did that was correct.  Stay close when acknowledging appropriate behavior.  Tell the child what he or she did that was correct.  Stay close when acknowledging appropriate behavior.  Provide positive acknowledgement that fits the situation.  Provide the positive consequence within 3-5 seconds of recognizing the appropriate behavior.

28. Teaching the Expectations  Teach Behaviors like we Teach Academics 1.State the behavioral expectation (include a brief rationale statement) 2.Specify the expected behaviors (rules/expectations) 3.MODEL appropriate behaviors 4.Children must PRACTICE appropriate behaviors 5.ACKNOWLEDGE appropriate behaviors  Teach Behaviors like we Teach Academics 1.State the behavioral expectation (include a brief rationale statement) 2.Specify the expected behaviors (rules/expectations) 3.MODEL appropriate behaviors 4.Children must PRACTICE appropriate behaviors 5.ACKNOWLEDGE appropriate behaviors

29. Teaching the Expectations  Tips for Teaching Behavior  Practice in actual setting (whenever possible)  Child only practices EXAMPLES  Use high frequency acknowledgements  Remind child of expectations before activity  Have a plan for misbehaviors  Tips for Teaching Behavior  Practice in actual setting (whenever possible)  Child only practices EXAMPLES  Use high frequency acknowledgements  Remind child of expectations before activity  Have a plan for misbehaviors

30. Stages of Learning Application -Behavior extended and used in new ways Generalization - Behavior transferred to other settings or people Maintenance - Fluency and accuracy of behavior retained Proficiency - Behavior performed with high accuracy and fluency Entry – Behavior performed at slow rate or not at all Increasing degree of independence Adapted from D.P. Rivera and D.D. Smith 1997 Maintenance - Fluency and accuracy of behavior retained Proficiency - Behavior performed with high accuracy and fluency Entry – Behavior performed at slow rate or not at all Increasing degree of independence Adapted from D.P. Rivera and D.D. Smith 1997

31. Point to Ponder Remember…through the course of a day…and even a given smaller period of time (like a class period)…all children will likely do something that is worth giving positive attention towards. The key is to be looking for it!

32. 32 Consequences are what happen when rules are broken or followed.

33.  Consequence provided that strengthens the behavior it follows  Tangible - food, drink, toys, etc.  Social – praise, facial expression, nearness  Preferred activity – computer time, free time, listening to music, etc.  Tokens – tickets, points, etc. that can be “cashed in” for other types of reinforcement  Being excused from unpleasant activities  Consequence provided that strengthens the behavior it follows  Tangible - food, drink, toys, etc.  Social – praise, facial expression, nearness  Preferred activity – computer time, free time, listening to music, etc.  Tokens – tickets, points, etc. that can be “cashed in” for other types of reinforcement  Being excused from unpleasant activities Reinforcement- What is it???

34. Consequences for following the rules:  Must be specific, descriptive, and contingent  Use the vocabulary of the rules to praise for rule following  Provide praise feedback more frequently than you think is necessary (4 to 1 ratio)  Recognize that some children will need more reinforcement than others  Expand reinforcement choices yearly and vary choices throughout the year Consequences for following the rules:  Must be specific, descriptive, and contingent  Use the vocabulary of the rules to praise for rule following  Provide praise feedback more frequently than you think is necessary (4 to 1 ratio)  Recognize that some children will need more reinforcement than others  Expand reinforcement choices yearly and vary choices throughout the year Reinforcement

35. Not every behavior deserves a pony (or a Wii)  Time with parents doing something special  Going to the park  Playing a game  Building a model  Choosing dinner  Choose where we are going for dinner  Choosing Family movie  A special item – make it equal to the expectation  Friend stays over  Play date with peers  Extra video game time  Lunch with a friend  Time with parents doing something special  Going to the park  Playing a game  Building a model  Choosing dinner  Choose where we are going for dinner  Choosing Family movie  A special item – make it equal to the expectation  Friend stays over  Play date with peers  Extra video game time  Lunch with a friend

36. Remember… It is not about the stuff … It is about the acknowledgement and feedback that lets children know they did it the correct way. Remember… It is not about the stuff … It is about the acknowledgement and feedback that lets children know they did it the correct way.

37. 3 Basic Principles:  Be Firm  Be Fair  Be Consistent  Be Firm  Be Fair  Be Consistent