1. American Dream Song Essay Peer Editing September 18, 2013

2.  If you go to the American Dream Song Essay link on my website, you will find the following VERY USEFUL handouts:  Essay assignment  Presentation on essay organization  How to Introduce Quoted Material  Electronic version of this presentation – I would recommend you using it tonight to get another set of eyes on your essay before you turn it in!  Rubric Just So You Know…

3. 1.Essay Fundamentals:  Strong thesis statements that establish personal definition of the American dream and how the selected song conveys it  Clear topic sentences that set the direction for each body paragraph  Organization of essay – a sense of logic/order 2.Development of ideas  How specific are you in connecting your song lyrics to your dream’s definition?  Use of specific examples (if you see lots of repeated words and/or of “everyone, anybody, sometimes, never, always,” etc., you’re likely being too general) WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR ON FINAL COPIES…

4. ROUND ONE: You will do a few things to YOUR PAPER.

5.  Highlight your thesis statement in one color  Highlight your text evidence (song lyrics) throughout the whole essay in a different color.  Underline each body paragraph’s topic sentence Step Two: Mark Key Text

6. ROUND TWO: Select a reader you trust, and trade essays with them.

7.  We looked at the three-step introduction earlier this week. Does this essay have at least a three sentence introduction?  Does the introduction mention the song title and artist?  “Song Title” in quotation marks  Look at the thesis statement: does it…  Clearly establish what the American dream is to the author?  State how the selected song connects to that definition? Step 1: Thesis Statement/Introduction

8.  Remember, the assignment requires multiple body paragraphs – that is, more than one. So, be sure you have at least two body paragraphs!  Also, recalling the outline on the ADSE website – body paragraphs should be at least 8 sentences long. Be sure your paragraphs are developed. I’d rather see fewer well developed body paragraphs than many puny ones! Step 2: Body Paragraphs – Structure

9.  Look at each paragraph’s topic sentence  Does the topic sentence establish what each body paragraph is about?  Read each body paragraph. Is there ANYTHING in the body paragraph that is not germane given the topic sentence? Comment on your post-it note. Step 2: Body Paragraphs – Topic Sentences

10.  Eyeball each body paragraph  Are there two sentences with EMBEDDED text evidence per paragraph?  Is each paragraph constituted of 1/3 text evidence (color) and 2/3 commentary (white)? If you see more than 1/3 yellow in the paragraph, comment about it to your partner – this indicates they are summarizing too much and not analyzing enough. Step 2: Body Paragraphs – Concrete Detail: Commentary Ratio

11.  It’s the last week of the 1 st Six Weeks! Let’s finish strong!  Today’s agenda:  American Dream Song Essay is due tomorrow! Our tasks:  Review rubric  Complete peer edit  Springboard 1.14 (sample survey)  Review data that we have compiled so far  Select your groups of 2-3 for the project (must have these by the time you enter tomorrow)  If time: select statements for group surveys Monday, September 23, 2013

12.  Your final copy with a copy of your lyrics is due TOMORROW!  BE ON TIME. If you’re one day late, you lose 10, 2 days late, 20, etc. Deadline Information – SUPER IMPORTANT!

13.  Your final copy with a copy of your lyrics is due TOMORROW! You have two options for submission:  Turn in a printed copy AT THE START of class  Turn in an electronic copy before 8:30 a.m. tomorrow to BOTH of these email addresses  lisa.roberts@gcisd.net lisa.roberts@gcisd.net  lisa.roberts.ghs@gmail.com Deadline Information – SUPER IMPORTANT!

14. Go to ADSE page on my website RUBRIC REVIEW

15. Remember, final copy must be…  Font: Times New Roman, 12 pt  Spacing: Double (please select “Remove spacing after paragraph”)  Page Layout  Margins  Normal (1” margins) Required Components - Format

16.  Copy of lyrics should be included  For Pete’s sake, YES, black out any bad words that are in the song. (Why do you even have to ask?) Required Components - Lyrics

17. SWITCH PAPERS WITH A CLASSMATE. TIP: THIS SHOULD BE SOMEONE WHO HAS NOT READ IT BEFORE!

18.  Read the essay, beginning to end, noting for the following:  Do the introduction and thesis set a clear direction for the essay?  Does each body paragraph’s topic sentence clearly establish what the paragraph is about, and does all information in that paragraph relevant to that t.s.?  Does each body paragraph have at least two concrete details (quoted song lyrics) that have been embedded within the sentece?  Does the writer’s commentary deepen meaning, or does it get redundant? Overall Quality Write feedback on the following on post-it notes provided at your table. Remember to offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.

19.  Are there at least TWO body paragraphs?  Does each body paragraph have 8 sentences? Required Length

20. Capitalization American dream First word of each sentence I Proper Names Song Titles (Example: “Party in the USA” Sentence Structure You are in eleventh grade, so I should NOT see run-ons and sentence fragments. Fix them…! Spelling Circle what you think may be spelled incorrectly, even if you aren’t sure. Usage To/two/too Their/there/they’re it’s/its Whether/weather than/then Conventions Mark issues on your partner’s essay. It is not your job as the editor to fix the mistakes; it is the writer’s job!