1. The Crucible Essay Some of you did commit treason against yourself—you did the right deed (completing the essay), but for the wrong reason: obedience to authority rather than to do your best for your own education.

2. Some Statistics—Grades z93-100“6” 3/595% z85-92“5”17/59 29% z77-84“4”13/59 22% z70-76“3”17/59 29% z60-69“2” 7/59 12% zBelow 60“1” 2/59 3% Class Avg.: 78 Required Rewrites: 9

3. Some Statistics—Grades in June if No Improvement z93-100“6” 1/59 2% z85-92“5” 7/59 12% z77-84“4”18/59 31% z70-76“3”17/59 29% z60-69“2”12/59 20% zBelow 60“1” 4/59 7% What this means for passing the Regents: 12 will fail; 21 will have to get 24/25 on the multiple choice in order to pass—if there is no improvement (based on last June’s test)

4. Evaluation Criteria zMeaning: understanding of the quote and text—proper application of the quote accurate details and analysis of the literature zDevelopment: level of discussion/detail provided— accurate specific details focusing on the thesis—the quote in this case (but not plot summary) zOrganization: structure and argumentation—proper thesis, topic sentences, transitions, etc, zLanguage use: level of diction, appropriateness of language—sentence structure, word choice, no slang zConventions: grammar, spelling, etc.

5. What Needs to Improve zEssay Titles: Capitalize properly, make them descriptive yCrucible Essay yIntention and Morality yDeed and Reason: The Morality of Intention in The Crucible zPlay Title: Italicize zIntroduction Format: Follow the instructions given zInterpeting the Lens: Go beyond mere restatement zFocus on the Critical Lens: Refrain from merely narrating the plot of the story—use only those details needed to make your point in each body paragraph.

6. What Needs to Improve zTopic Sentences: Each one should connect the critical lens to the specific point of the paragraph. Consider: yJohn Proctor first signed the confession, but then ripped it up. xNarrative yJohn Proctor is a good example of the critical lens. xVague yWhen he tears up his confession, Proctor does what many would consider to be a good deed but for the wrong reason. xProvides a good connection between the play and the critical lens

7. What Else Needs to Improve zAccurate Details from the Play: yHale did not come to Salem to accuse witches yHale was not convinced that Elizabeth was innocent when she was arrested—though he did clearly have his doubts yProctor admitted the affair to Elizabeth before the start of the play yDanforth is not Parris or Hathorne yAbby does not accuse Proctor of witchcraft or lechery yGiles Corey was not “pressed” to confess or to “name names” yElizabeth does not convince Proctor to confess yElizabeth does not convince Proctor not to confess yElizabeth does not want Proctor dead.

8. Other Issues to Consider— Diction/Mechanics zQuote accurately—it is right in front of you; zSpell names properly—Procter, Marry, Paris, Abbey, Abigal, Hall zEliminate slang—wording such as “kids,” “mess up,” and even “ok” are low in diction and should not be used in formal writing; zCapitalize properly and Use apostrophes—you know these rules zProofread—consider “defiantly/definitely” zConclusions—keep them brief. Restate your main idea and provide closure—two or three sentences.

9. What We Will Learn— in time to come... zOpening lines that move the essay forward zInterpreting the critical lens more effectively zOrdering your arguments effectively zWriting Topic Sentences that analyze rather than merely narrate zBlending quotes properly into your text zWriting Sophisticated Transitions that unify your essay. zUsing high level diction to write like college-bound young adults rather than “hormone riddled middle schoolers”

10. Rewrites zYou must rewrite if your grade was below 70 zYou may rewrite if your grade was 70 or above zMake significant changes, not just the easy cosmetic ones (Get help!) zUpload your new draft to the rewrite link on Moodle zDue: Thursday, Oct. 25 by 5:25 pm