1. Grief and loss Dr Fariba Arabgol Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist
Shahid Beheshti University of Medical Science

2. Facts about children’s grief
Death
Divorce
Sexual abuse
Relocation
Exposure to violance

3. Childhood loss Loss of relationships Loss of external objects
Loss of self
Loss related to skills & Abilities
Loss related to habits
Loss in the environment

4. Myth of Grief
Adults can instantly give explanations to children about death and spirituality.
The grief of adults dose not impact on the bereaved child .
Adults should avoid topics that cause a child to cry.
An active ,playing child is not a grieving child.

5. Myth of Grief
Parents, educators &…. Always are prepared & qualified to give explanations & clarifications regarding loss & grief.
Children need to( get over )their grief and move on .
Children are better off not attending funerals.

6. Myth of Grief
Infants and toddlers are too young to grieve

7. Four Psychological Tasks of Grief Work
Understanding
Grieving
Commemorating
Going on

8. Understanding - Magical thinking -Common cliches :
1/ Sara lost her mother
2/ Dad went on a long trip
3/It is God’s will or God took him
because he is so good
4/ He went to sleep last night
5/she is watching you in heaven (so you
better be good)

9. Understanding
Age :
Age : 2 – 7
Age: 7 – 12
Age : 13 & up

10. Grieving Shock & denial Searching & yearning Disorganization & despair
Rebuilding & healing

11. Commemorating
Children need to establish ways to remember the person or animal that died.
Involve kids in formal and informal ways to commemorate
Formal:
Informal :

12. Going on Kids can begin to risk loving again and enjoying life .
This dose not mean forgetting the person who’s gone .

13. Techniques for Grief Work
Identify feelings : anger ,panic ,denial, guilt, withdrawal…..
Grief resolution techniques : story telling, letter writhing , poetry , memory books, drawing, picture
Children’s questions and answering them:

14. Children’s Questions Questions for God Q……. For a mom that died
Q……..about forgetting
Q……..about cliches
Q……. about closure
Q……about secrecy
Q ……about facts
Q…….about the inability to grieve openly

15. Children’s Questions Q… about dying Q….about magical thinking
Q….about heaven
Q….about safety