1. Why Does My Child Behave Like That? Practical Strategies for Parents of Kids on the Asperger/Autism Spectrum

2. Our Kids Flexible Thinking Generalization Main Idea Organization Problem-solving Perspective Taking Unwritten Social Rules Social Communication Self Awareness Self Advocacy Attention Impulse Control Regulation of Emotions and Anxiety Sensory Regulation Looking through an Asperger’s/Autism Lens © Asperger/Autism Network www.aane.org

3. Ever feel this way?

4. Building Positive Interactions Avoid “Four Cardinal Sins” Thomas Phelan (2004) Nagging Lecturing Arguing Offering unscheduled, spontaneous advice

5. Building Positive Interactions What to do Instead Talk less or keep silent Make an appointment to discuss the issue Seek to understand their point of view Car Use humor Enjoy each other!

6. Learning About Emotions Meltdown Cycle Teachable Moment Rumbling MeltdownRecoveryTeachable Moment Learn early signs of stress Nothing is worth the explosion! Brenda Smith Myles

7. Learning About Emotions Pictures in books Special interests Cartoons/Comics TV/Movies Apps Video-replay Charades/Drama “Talking out loud” Hi-Low

8. Self-Regulation The Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis LevelPerson, Place or Thing Makes me feel like this 5This could make me lose control! 4 (Find a quiet place) This can really upset me! 3This can make me feel nervous 2 (Use calming sequence) This sometimes bothers me 1This never bothers me

9. Self-Regulation Strategies The Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis RatingSize of ProblemResponses 5Catastrophe (Fire) “I have to follow directions and move fast.” 4Big (Mom in Hospital) “Lots of people can help us.” 3Medium (Friend can’t play today) “I can call someone else.” 2Small (Lost homework) “I can talk to the teacher.” 1Glitch (Don’t like my lunch) “Maybe dinner will be better.”

10. Self-Regulation Strategies The Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis RatingType of WordExampleWhat will happen 5ThreateningSwearing at teacher Get in trouble Detention 4Angry“Get out of my face” Detention and stern lecture 3Hurtful“I don’t care what you think” Nobody wants to be with you. 2Just fine“Could I take a break?” You might get what you need! 1Sweet“Thanks for your help.” People want to be with and help you.

11. Fostering Flexibility Cleaning Your Room Not Necessary Not Allowed Great OK Cleaning every day 10 minutes every other day Dirty laundry in basket Never cleaning

12. Fostering Flexibility I’m frustrated—what will help? Doesn’t Last Lasts a long time Helps a little Eating TreatsBoard or Card Games Library iPod Video Games Reading Friend Bike Walk Dog Talking about it Helps more Feel much better

13. © Asperger/Autism Network www.aane.org Fostering Flexibility: Solving Problems Option 1Option 2Option 3 DifficultyConcern

14. Fighting Playing Helping Plotting against parents Perspective Taking What Siblings Do

15. Executive Functioning Visual Schedules 3:30Snack and Screen Time 4:30Piano 5:30Homework 6:00Set Table and Dinner 6:30Free Time 8:00Get Ready for Bed and Read

16. Executive Functioning Waiting Plan Brainstorm list Visual Timer Point

17. Executive Functioning Routines Sarah Ward

18. What does the future hold?

19. Recommended Resources Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments, Brenda Smith Myles/Jack Southwick. The Incredible 5-Point Scale, Kari Dunn Buron/Mitzi Curtis. The Hidden Curriculum, Brenda Smith Myles, et.al. Navigating the Social World, Jeanette McAfee. The Explosive Child, Ross Greene. ADHD: Living Without Brakes, Martin Kutscher. www.aane.org www.cognitveconnections.com

20. www.brendadater.com Parenting without Panic Facebook Page AANE Facebook Page Contact AANE (617) 393-3824 or info@aane.org