2. Gain an overview of female bullying and relational aggression Learn about popularity and social capital Understand how female bullying affects young women Discuss how female bullying impacts our residential communities Learn ways to combat female bullying

3. “Type of bullying primarily used by pre-adolescent and adolescent girls to victimize other girls. [It is] a covert use of relationships as weapons to inflict emotional pain” (www.teachersandfamilies.com/open/parent/ra1.cfm). “Relational aggression implies a certain amount of skill and is more effectively applied as a means to obtain standing when the relational aggressor is more socially skilled” (Puckett, Aikens, and Cillessen, 2008). “…relational aggressors need social understanding, and that the ability to decode social situations contributes to an aggressor’s social prowess and power” (Puckett, Aikens, and Cillessen, 2008).

4. Social Capital Perceived Wealth SexualityAggression Physical Appearance Prosocial Behavior Social Self- Efficacy

5. “Regina George is an evil dictator. How do you overthrow an evil dictator? You take away her resources. She would be nothing without her high-status man-candy, technically good physique, and evil band of loyal followers.” ~Janis Ian, Mean Girls “Good”“Evil” Perceived popularity, high prosocial behavior Well-known, emulated Not necessarily well-liked, high aggression Sociometric popularity, high prosocial behavior Well-known, emulated Liked, low aggression

6. Socialized Gender Norms Girls: taught to be kind, gentle, emotional Boys: taught to be physically aggressive, strong, stoic Value of Relationships Women’s self-esteem is maintained in part by the ability to sustain intimate relationships with others Girls need to feel liked and socially important Girls may be willing to maintain a friendship at all costs

7. Impact of Biology Testosterone vs. Estrogen Heightened hormone levels during menstruation Women’s Inclination to “Tend and Befriend” Tending: nurturing activities for the benefit of self and offspring Befriending: creation and maintenance of social networks

8. Queen BeeSidekickBankerFloaterTorn BystanderPleaser/WannabeeTarget “We have rules about what we wear. You can only wear your hair up (like in a ponytail) once a week. You can’t wear a tank top two days in a row. You can only wear jeans on Friday and that’s also the only time you can wear sneakers. If you break any of these rules, you can’t sit with us at lunch.” Gabrielle, 15

9. Verbal Insults Social Exclusion Hostile Body Language Cyberbullying Secret Divulging Rumor Spreading Using Boys & Other Relationships Alliance Building BackstabbingUsing ParentsIgnoring Physical Aggression

10. There are two main underlying causes of relational aggression: Increase one’s social standing Socially isolate the victim Bullying begins early and changes form throughout childhood and adolescence: girls tend to become increasingly manipulative and damaging as they age

11. Use of electronic communication to bully others Instant Messages Blogs E-mail Facebook Myspace Text Messages JuicyCampus.com Twitter Almost 60% of cyber victims are female 1/3 of undergraduate students report being stalked over the internet

12. Friendship/Alliance Forming Roommate ConflictsInclusion/Exclusion Culturally Oppressed Groups Clique BehaviorCommunity Climate Student Involvement/Leadership Resident Assistant Job Performance Mental HealthProfessional Staff What have you seen in your communities?

13. Bullies Popular or Well-Known Charismatic Perceived Wealth Exclusionary Activities Superficial Kindness Jekyll/Hyde Behavior Moody

14. Targets Secretive Moody Missed Classes Anxiety Depression Seclusion and/or Withdraw Long-term Mental Health Concerns

15. What have you found to be successful? Understand the causes of their bullying Use their powers for good Watch Mean Girls or Heathers and have a discussion Kill ‘em with kindness Call them out on their actions Refer them to campus/community counseling services Use your student staff as allies Create relational community standards Situating their behavior in a “real world” or workplace setting

16. Five Tips from Rosalind Wiseman: Pledge not to gossip Change the subject or try to find something positive to say Tell your bitchy friend how much you value her but that she’s “better than this.” If someone is bitching about someone else, say “I don’t know if it’s true, but even if it is true, so what?” Ask: What sort of a woman do you want to be? It’s your choice. Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. Cady, Mean Girls

17. It is important to empower the victim to confront their aggressor. If you confront their aggressor, this may lead to intensified aggression. Help them understand their own behavior Give them a place to talk Help them understand aggressors actions and motivations Encourage them to get involved Talk about what true friendship means Empower them to confront the aggressor/situation Use parents as partners Refer to campus/community counseling services

18. Books Brizendine, L. (2006). The Female Brain. New York: Broadway. Evans, N., Forney, D., & Guido-DiBrito, F. (1998). Student Development in College: Theory, Research, and Practice. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Figes, K. (2007). The Big Fat Bitch Book. London: Virago. Wiseman, R. (2002). Queen Bees & Wannabes. New York: Three Rivers Press Articles and Websites Li, Q. (2007). New bottle but old wine: A research of cyberbullying in schools. Computers in Human Behavior, 23, 1777-1791. Mayeux, L., & Cillessen, A.H.N. (2008). It’s not just being popular, it’s knowing it too: The role of self perceptions of status in the associations between peer status and aggression. Social Development, 17, 4, 871-888. Puckett, M., Aikins, J.W., Cillessen, A.H.N. (2008). Moderators of the association between relational aggression and perceived popularity. Aggressive Behavior, 34, 563-576. http://www.treachersandfamilies.com/open/parent/ra1.cfm

19. Other recommended resources: Film Mean Girls The Breakfast Club Heathers Drop Dead Gorgeous Websites Bullying.org -- www.bullying.orgwww.bullying.org American Association of University Women – www.aauw.orgwww.aauw.org Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network – www.glsen.orgwww.glsen.org Riotgrrl.com – www.riotgrrl.comwww.riotgrrl.com Stalkingvictims.com – www.stalkingvictims.com