1. Counseling Centers of New York June 5, 2015 Charlene Vetter, Ph.D. & Andrew T. Wurl, Ph.D. SUNY Buffalo State

2.  Examine cultural messages about LGBTQ relationships  Examine myths and misconceptions of IPV in LGBTQ relationships  Learn about unique tactics of abusing partners  Learn about barriers to accessing services for survivors  Tips for Counselors and Service Providers

3. Privilege The unearned benefits one receives by virtue of membership in a particular social group Heterosexism  Assume that everyone is heterosexual/heterosexuality is preferential  Believe that LGBTQ relationships are immoral and/or do not make valuable contributions to society  LGBTQ parents do not parent as well as heterosexual parents

4. Irrational fears of lesbian, bisexual, trans- identified, genderqueer individuals  Fears often based in individual beliefs, prejudices, negative stereotypes  Misinformation, lack of information, education  Beliefs used to justify name-calling, bullying, violence, abuse, discrimination, forced incarceration, forced psychiatric treatment, deprivation of civil rights  Beliefs can become weapons in the arsenals of LGBTQ abusers

6.  25-33% of LGBTQ people experience partner abuse in their lifetime.  National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs’ 2013 report: › 2,697 reports of intimate partner violence, an increase of.67% from 2012 › 21 reported IPV-related homicides › 50.2% of survivors were people of color › Transgender survivors were 1.9 times more likely to experience physical violence and 2.5 times more likely to experience IPV in public spaces

7.  NCAVP 2013 report cont. › Bisexual survivors were 1.6 times more likely to experience sexual violence and 2.2 times more likely to experience physical violence › Young LGBTQ adults (ages 19-29) were 2.6 times more likely to experience sexual violence in IPV relationships › Young LGBTQ adults were also 1.4 times more likely to experience injury as a result of IPV and 1.7 times more likely to require medical attention

8.  MYTH: Abusers are men; victims are women.  MYTH: Abusers are usually bigger, stronger and more “butch” than their partners.  MYTH: LGBT individuals being abused can more easily leave their partners due to absence of legal ties.

9.  MYTH: LGBT IPV is mutual.  MYTH: The length of the relationship or living situation determines what is considered abuse.  MYTH: Women abusers are less physically abusive than men abusers.

10.  With little to no societal validation of LGBTQ individuals, people in a survivor’s life may not even recognize that the survivor is in a relationship, much less that s/he is being abused.  Many people are closeted and cannot turn to friends, family, faith communities, or employers for support.  Homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia do some of the batterer’s work for them by isolating the survivor, destroying their self-esteem, and convincing them that no one will help them because of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.  Clients may feel they are “coming out” a second time, as they come out as being abused to others.

11.  There is a greater likelihood of no arrest, wrongful arrest, or dual arrest when calling the police, and no restraining order or dual restraining orders given by judges.  There are fewer resources available for LGBTQ survivors.  There is a lack of screening to determine who the abuser is and who the survivor is by police, courts, support groups, shelters, and other services.  There may be LGBTQ community pressure not to air dirty laundry about partner abuse or to use the legal system.

14.  Use gender-inclusive and gender- neutral language in order to open doors to all survivors.  Mirror a person’s language.  Be aware of your own biases.  Don’t ask invasive questions about someone’s body.

15.  Be mindful of clients’ level of being out, especially when connecting the person to community resources.  Pay attention for LGBTQ-specific abuse tactics.  If children are involved, they may be concerned about outing their parents or be concerned about others not understanding their situation.  Do not assume getting an Order of Protection is a good idea; partner’s likely response and ability of client must be assessed.

16.  Help clients assess possible costs (homophobia/transphobia) and benefits of seeking IPV services in the community.  Help clients assess potential costs (silencing, victim-blaming) and benefits (possible support) by disclosing abuse in LGBTQ community.

17.  In New York State, the Expanded Access Law was passed in 2008, allowing same-sex dating couples access to Family Court and civil orders of protection, regardless of whether they lived together or have a child together.  LGBTQ community may be small, so safety planning needs to be very intentional, especially as some services or events may include individuals known to the abuser.  Be familiar with LGBTQ-friendly services within your area that may be needed, such as an LGBTQ-affirming attorney for legal issues.  Promote LGBTQ-specific programs for IPV to increase awareness.

18.  Only ask in complete privacy separate from partner  Assure confidentiality  Present IPV Screening as a routine procedure: e.g., “There are some routine questions we ask all our clients, because many of them are in relationships where they are afraid their partners may hurt them. Is this a concern for you? Are you ever afraid of your partner?”

19.  Do not ask “Are you a victim of domestic violence?” Clients may view “victim” as stigmatizing label, think what they experience is not bad enough to be considered abuse, view DV/IPV as a heterosexual phenomenon

20.  Ask short, concrete, behavioral questions. Does your partner….hit, hurt, criticize, manipulate, or try to scare you? How might your partner respond if he/she knew your HIV status? Has your partner ever disrespected you because of your gender identity? Has your partner ever interfered with transition when he/she was angry (e.g., not allowing you to take hormones, or making you take too many medications in hopes to feminize or masculinize you quicker)?

21. The Network la Red www.tnlr.orgwww.tnlr.org New York City Gay & Lesbian Anti Violence Project www.avp.orgwww.avp.org Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence www.opdv.state.ny.uswww.opdv.state.ny.us Additional Resources: www.pridecenterwny.org www.transequality.org