1. + Managing Challenging and Stressful Situations Capacity Building Seminar Edinburgh, Scotland 10th to 12th September 2011 Dr. Dasha Grajfoner

2. + Shelter How well did you listen to the others in your group? Did you feel heard? Did you allow yourself to be pressured into changing your mind? Were you too stubborn that so that the group couldn't reach a decision? Did you feel you had the right answer? What do your own selections say to you about your values? What surprised you about your choices or the selections of other groups? What assumptions did you make about gender? Race? etc.

3. + What are your challenges and stressors?

4. + Range of Challenges and Stressors Internal External: Within your close relationships Within trans/LGBT community Outside trans/LGBT community

5. + What is Stress and Challenges? Stress and challenge results from an imbalance between the demands we perceive to be under, and the resources we think we have. The difference relates to how stressed or challenged we feel. Bigger the difference, more stressed we are.

6. + Signs of Stress Physical: chest pain, colds, no sex drive, digestion problems Behavioral: eating/sleeping too much or too little, procrastinating, staying in, drinking and smoking Emotional: feeling lonely, irritable, moody, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed Cognitive: poor concentration, judgment, memory, worry, seeing negative

7. + How do you cope with stress?

8. + Circle of control In Control No Control

9. + How do you resolve conflicts?

10. + Conflict resolution 1. Know yourself 2. Identify personal needs 3. Choose safe negotiation place 4. Active listening 5. Clearly express your needs 6. Use problem solving and appreciative inquiry to identify problems/options

11. + Preventing conflicts Stop Listen Observe Respond

12. + How do you manage deadlocks?

13. + Manage deadlock How it feels Reframe the issue Break it down Restate others point of few Be flexible Affirm areas of agreement Explore best alternatives

14. + How do you look after yourself?

15. + Looking after yourself Prioritize your issues and tasks Set SMART goals: Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Timely Plan small steps Appreciate what you have achieved

16. + Looking after yourself Address conflicts as soon as possible if you can Identify your strengths in the situation and use them Focus on positive aspects of the situation and write them down Delegate and ask for help

17. + Looking after yourself Responsibility Pies – We did not get the office space we wanted