2. MG Production Musical No retirement home for me!

3. Two years ago, my wife and I went on a cruise through the Western Mediterranean aboard a cruise ship, the Princess. During dinner, we saw an elderly lady sitting alone in the large dining room. I noticed that the employees, officers, and servers seemed to know this lady…. So I asked our server who the lady was, expecting to learn that she was the owner of the company, but he replied that all he knew was that she had remained on board for the last four cruises.

4. One evening when we left the dining room, we stopped at her table to say hello to her. We chatted and I said: "It seems that you have traveled on the last four cruises aboard this ship." She answered: “Why, of course!" I said: "I don’t understand." She said: "It's much less expensive than a retirement home!"

5. It’s a fact that furthermore, I will not go to a home for the elderly. Now that I am old and weak, I go on cruise ships such as the Princess Cruiser. The average cost of a home for the elderly is $105 per day. I checked the cost of reservations on the Princess and with a long term discount and a senior’s discount, it is only $71 per day. This leaves me $34 each day that I can use for:

6. 1) Tips (which do not amount to more than $10 per day). 2) I can eat up to 10 meals a day if I want to waddle to the restaurant or just call room service - which means that I can have breakfast in bed every day if I want.

7. 3) The Princess cruise ship has three pools, a fitness room, a washer and dryer and free entertainment every night. 4) They also supply the toothpaste, razors, soap and shampoo for free...

8. 5) They will even treat you like a royal guest and not a number. An extra $6 tip for the crew will bring everything you need right to your finger tips. 6) I meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

9. 7) TV down? Need to change a light bulb? Need to replace the mattress? No problem! They will fix everything and will even apologize for the inconvenience … 8) You get clean sheets and towels every day without even asking!

10. 9) If you fall and break your hip in a retirement home you will be on health insurance. If the same accident happens on the Princess, they will upgrade your cabin to first class for the rest of your life.

11. And now for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia... or any other destination? Princess will always have a boat ready to go, so do not place me in a retirement home. Call me on the Princess!

12. PS: Remember, when you die, you are thrown over board, and all for free!

13. MG Production Pass this tip on to those who dream of a luxury retirement retreat.