1. Why Don’t You Get on My Nerves Anymore? Socioemotional Aging Karen L. Fingerman Professor Human Development & Family Sciences Faculty Affiliate, Psychology Department University of Texas at Austin

2. Relationship Problems Poor Mental Health…

3. With age, adults report fewer problems with:  Friends (Blieszner & Adams, 1995)  Spouse (Carstensen, Gottman, & Levenson, 1995)  Children (Fingerman, Chen, Hay, Cichy, & Lefkowitz, 2006)  Grandchildren (Fingerman, 1998)  Sibling (Bedford, 1989)  Relationships (Akiyama, et al., 2003; Fingerman & Birditt, 2003; Rook, 1987)

4. Why do they have fewer problems? Person Changes… Person Changes… –Emotions –Cognition –Brain Social Context… Social Context… –Selection of most rewarding partners –Roles

5. Person Features Relationship Features Adult’s Socioemotional Response Partner’s Input Social Input Model of Socioemotional Response Fingerman & Baker, 2006; Fingerman & Pitzer, 2007 Fingerman & Charles, 2010

6. Social Partner’s Input…. Social partners may hold views of older adults that influence their behaviors towards that older adult. Perceptions of remaining time. Interpersonal dyadic reactions.

7. It takes two to tango…..

8. Overview of Social Problems (N = 187)  TEENAGERS (aged 13-16)  YOUNG ADULTS (20s)  MIDDLE-AGED (40s)  YOUNG OLD (60s)  OLDEST OLD (80s) NIA, Grant # AG1448401, “Adults’ Reasoning about Social Problems” NIA, Grant # AG1448401, “Adults’ Reasoning about Social Problems” Fingerman, Hay, & Birditt (2004) Journal of Marriage and Family

10. Social Problems Study Demographics, vocabulary, & health Social desirability Kahn & Antonucci measure Measure of problematic ties Open-ended questions about interpersonal problems, behaviors, and emotions Ratings of behaviors and emotions

11. Classify relationships as: Close only Close only Problematic only Problematic only Mixed or ambivalent Mixed or ambivalent

12. Average Number of Relationships Classified as Close Only

13. Average Number of Relationships Classified as Ambivalent

14. Average Number of Relationships Classified as Problematic Only

15. Overall Findings…. Older adults experienced fewer ambivalent as well as fewer problematic only ties. People of all ages experienced the greatest ambivalence towards close family (spouse, child, parent)… Which means that older adults somehow manage to avoid getting upset with their close social partners….

16. Young and middle-aged adults are most ambivalent and upset with close family

17. Adult Family Study Phone interviews (CATI) individually Phone interviews (CATI) individually Background Information Background Information Positive and Negative Qualities of Relationships Positive and Negative Qualities of Relationships

18. Adult Family Study 158 Families (N = 474) Son or Daughter (22 to 49, M = 34 years) Son or Daughter (22 to 49, M = 34 years) Mother (40 to 82, M = 60 years) Mother (40 to 82, M = 60 years) Father (43 to 84, M = 62 years) Father (43 to 84, M = 62 years) Stratified sampling by age, gender, ethnicity Stratified sampling by age, gender, ethnicity Fingerman, NIA Grant AG17916-01, “Problems between Parents and Offspring in Adulthood ”

19. Positive Emotions HappyRelaxedInterestedPleasedProudDelighted

20. Negative Emotions IrritationDisappointmentGuiltWorryJealousDisgustEmbarrassment

21. How do partners’ emotions fit together?

22. Intensity of Negative Emotions

23. Offspring worry Parent feels loved Hay, Fingerman, Lefkowitz (2007)

24. Negative for the offspring But positive for the elderly parent

25. Socioemotional Processes as Interpersonal Transactions Individual Reading Cues & Responding to Partner Individual Reading Cues & Responding to Partner

26. Age Differences in Behaviors Tell me about the last time you were irritated, bothered, hurt, or annoyed with (name of social partner) What did you do in this situation? Birditt & Fingerman (2005) Journals of Gerontology

27. Coding for Responses Constructive: discuss problem, ask person to stop, tried to solve the problem Avoidance: Remain calm, pray, do nice things for person unrelated to the problem Confront: Argue, yell, name call Neglect: Ignore person, sulk, not talk to the person

28. A bit more about the codes Reliability established across 100 out of 833 responses (12% of data) Kappas ranged from.79 to.93 7% of data did not fit any codes (cry, harm another object, exercise)

29. Distributions of Behaviors ConstructiveAvoidConfrontNeglect Teens ( n =187).50.14.36.11 Young adult (n =203).56.19.18.10 Middle aged (n =162) (n =162).68.14.11.08 Young old (n =179).68.20.07.05 Oldest old (n = 102) (n = 102).48.33.09.07

30. Behaviors in Daily Interpersonal Problems National Daily Diary Study (N = 1,242) –Part of the MIDUS study –Adults aged 25 to 74 –Participants completed interviews about daily stress each day for 8 days –666 participants who indicated that stress involved another person (n = 1,618 responses) Birditt, Fingerman, and Almeida (2005)

31. Replicate Findings Older adults were less likely to argue or use confrontational behaviors than were younger adults Older adults were less likely to argue or use confrontational behaviors than were younger adults Older adults were more likely to “do nothing” or describe a non-specific passive behavior Older adults were more likely to “do nothing” or describe a non-specific passive behavior

32. Summary….. Older adults attempt to avoid interpersonal tensions Older adults attempt to avoid interpersonal tensions Younger adults more confrontational… Younger adults more confrontational… But older adults were interacting with other older adults, younger adults interacting with younger adults…. But older adults were interacting with other older adults, younger adults interacting with younger adults….

33. But in the real world…Social partners come prepackaged by age…

34. So, how do social partners treat older adults?.....

36. Social partners treat older adults better…

37. Holiday Card Study….. Fingerman & Griffiths, 1999

38. How Older Mothers & Daughters Handle Tensions

39. Mother/Daughter Problems Study (N=96) Mothers Mothers –Over age 70 –Well-educated –Healthy Daughters Daughters –Mean age 45 –Live within 50 miles of their mothers Study Design Study Design –Individual interviews, joint interviews, questionnaires

40. Daughters’ Behaviors During Interviews

41. Mothers’ Behaviors During Interviews

42. What’s going on here? Daughters see problems Daughters see problems But, in the best relationships tone down their responses in their mothers’ presence Why? Why? Don’t have much time left Don’t have much time left She’s not going to change. She’s not going to change.

43. Relationships have Time Perspective Ho 1: Perception that time in the relationship is running out leads social partners to behave more “positively” Fingerman, Miller, Charles, 2008

44. Sample Younger Participants Aged 22 to 35 n = 70 M = 25.64 years 57% women 67% college degree Older Participants Aged 65 to 77 n = 71 M = 70.21 years 51% women 79% college degree

45. Procedures: Within Participant Design Report on the young adult (aged 18 to 35) feel closest to Report on the older adult (age 65+) feel closest to NOT their romantic partner

46. Manipulation of Time Perspective Young adult: Joining cultural immersion program in Peace Corps Older adult: Moving to retirement community in Hawaii

47. Reaction to Negative Behavior: Insult Manipulation Now, imagine the following situation: You are talking in a group of people, describing a problem you are having. (Name of older/younger adult)_______ responds by saying something highly critical and slightly insulting about you. You are surprised and hurt by these remarks. Now, imagine the following situation: You are talking in a group of people, describing a problem you are having. (Name of older/younger adult)_______ responds by saying something highly critical and slightly insulting about you. You are surprised and hurt by these remarks.

48. 3 behavioral responses to insult Confront 2 items: Confront, raise voice,  =.58 Engagement 3 items: Calmly discuss, try to find, solution  =.79 Avoidant 4 items: Situation blow over, accept nothing can do, avoid dealing with, act as if nothing going on  =.83 Control for: Typicality of the situation

49. Other measures Individual Time perspective (Carstensen & Lang, 1996) Emotional expressivity (Kring, Smith, Neale,1994) Stereotypes (Packer & Chasteen, 2006) Relationship Time perspective of relationship How close, how long known, relationship quality

50. Multilevel Models: Predictors Target Age Manipulation: Away on an island or not Future Time Perspective for Relationship Length of Relationship Positive Relationship Quality Negative Relationship Quality Importance of Relationship Blame other party How upset about situation Typicality of situation Participant Age Participant Gender Participant Future Time Perspective Emotional Expressivity Stereotypes of aging

52. Behavioral responses to insult…. Confront if target is young adult Engagement if target is young adult Avoidant if target is older adult Notes: Partial mediation effect of time perspective

53. Perceptions of Social Transgressions Standardized Vignettes… Miller, Charles, Fingerman (2009)

54. Development ofVignettes: Pilot Studies Used tensions from the NSDE and from studies of most salient interpersonal problems Rated for age appropriateness, intensity Rated names to be cohort transcendent Included photos rated for attractiveness, positive, negative emotion

55. Vignettes about Interpersonal Tensions

56. Participant Ratings How character would react to transgressions How character would react to transgressions Perceived blame and forgiveness Perceived blame and forgiveness Stereotypes of aging Stereotypes of aging Background characteristics Background characteristics

57. Mixed Model: Confront PredictorBSE B Intercept 2.30*** 0.30 Transgressor Age -0.19** 0.06 Controls: Closeness of relationship, participant age, reactor age, gender, familiarity with situation, aging stereotypes Note. Parameter estimates are fixed effects. *p <.05. ** p <.01. *** p <.001.

58. Mixed Model: Engagement PredictorBSE B Intercept 2.03*** 0.31 Transgressor Age -0.07 0.05 Controls: Closeness of relationship, participant age, reactor age, gender, familiarity with situation, aging stereotypes Note. Parameter estimates are fixed effects. *p <.05. ** p <.01. *** p <.001.

59. Mixed Model: Avoidant PredictorBSE B Intercept 2.97*** 0.30 Transgressor Age 0.13* 0.05 Controls: Closeness of relationship, participant age, reactor age, gender, familiarity with situation, aging stereotypes Note. Parameter estimates are fixed effects. *p <.05. ** p <.01. *** p <.001.

60. Social partners may contribute to older adults’ sense that there are few problems in relationships

61. Why do older adults get along better with their social partners? Individual Individual –Better emotion regulation –Less likely to behave aggressively Relationship contexts Relationship contexts –Older social partners –Fewer contexts in which annoyances arise Social input Social input –Partners are forgiving –Protective social input

62. Individual Socioemotional Development Social Partners’ Beliefs Interpersonal Transactions

63. In our personal relationships, The best may be yet to come….

64. Average Use of Problem-solving Behaviors Toward Younger and Older Transgressors