1. Roster: Please verify your email address, and put a checkmark next to your name or add your name and address to the roster. Handouts: Please pickup a copy of today’s handouts:  Syllabus  NotePages for Day #1 1

2.  Our website, roster, and syllabus  Definitions of love  Love viewed within the context of Moral Community & Hierarchy of Needs (Judith Boss) (Abraham Maslow)  Three components of an attitude of love  Three approaches to the dynamics of love (Gary Chapman, Robert Sternberg, John Lee) 2

3. Behavior Person Environment. Behavior is a function of the Person & the Environment.

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5. ... by children. … as cognition, emotion, or overt behavior. 5

6.  “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.” Rebecca - age 8 6

7.  “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl - age 5 “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you  “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy - age 6 7

8.  “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny - age 7  “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle - age 7 8

9.  “Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss” Emily - age 8  "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4 9

10.  "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7  "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7 10

11. What is Love?  “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy - age 4  “You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica - age 8 11

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14. 14 A. B. C.

15. 15 A. B. C. B = f (P x E) Behavior is a function of the Person and the Environment Kurt Lewin (1940)

16. 16 A. B. C. My Moral Center The Marginalized The Excluded

17. 17 A. A. My Moral Center We accord the highest level of respect to those at our moral center. Without any effort we are mindful of their individuality, and we cherish their humanity. We seek to increase their happiness, and decrease their unhappiness. If we unintentionally hurt someone and then apologize, we may bring this up again, apologize again, and continue to feel remorse. “I feel sorry, and I feel guilty that I caused you pain.”

18. 18 B. B. The Marginalized While we do not seek to cause them unhappiness, we realize that we cannot please everyone all the time, and that’s life. If we unintentionally hurt someone and then apologize, we will resent it if this matter is brought up again. “I have already apologized. What more do you expect me to do about it? Get over it. I was sorry at first, but now I’m starting to feel angry!”

19. 19 C. C. The Excluded Their well-being is none of our concern, except for how it affects us. We may neglect them, ignore them, use them, or seek to hurt them for our own purposes. We dehumanize them, and we perceive them all to be essentially the same. We also may perceive that if we increase their unhappiness then we will increase our happiness. “I am proud that I hurt you.” “I feel safe now that you are incapacitated.”

20. 20 A. B. C. My Moral Center The Marginalized The Excluded

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37. We become more unique and cooperative. Cherishing the diversity of life. We are more alike and competitive. Threatened by differences.

38. 38 A. B. C. My Moral Center The Marginalized The Excluded

39. 39 A. B. C.

40. 40 A Bus Trip & A Dog’s Tail

41. These 3 assessments are available on our class website: Day #1, and will be the focus of much of our discussion next week. http://www.canyons.edu/faculty/rafterm Love Assessment Totals 1. Chapman’s Languages of Love Total A ___ Total B___ Total C___ Total D___ Total E___ A: Words of Affirmation B: Quality Time C: Receiving Gifts D: Acts of Service E: Physical Touch 2. Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love Assessment Total I ___ Total P___ Total C___ I: Intimacy P: Passion C: Commitment 0-45: not a strong component of the relationship 60-90: a fairly strong component of the relationship 105-135: a very strong component of the relationship 3. Lee’s Love Attitudes Scale Total E___ Total L___ Total S___ Total P ___ Total M___ Total A___ 41

42. My email address is: msrafter@gmail.com 42

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