1. Chapter Outline Developing a Smooth Flow of Communication
Communication Skills Men and Women: Do They Speak the Same Language?
Communication and Family Conflict
Family Life in the Information Age

2. Communication
Communication is the sending and receiving of messages, intentional and unintentional, verbal and nonverbal.
Communication is basic to every human relationship.

3. Factors Related to Communication:
Trusting and confiding in one another
Trying new ways to deal with problems
Working together to solve problems
Expressing caring and affection for each other daily

4. Factors Related to Communication:
At least one family member talking to his/her parents regularly
Sharing feelings and concerns with close friends
Parents spending time with teenagers for private talks
Checking in and out with each other

5. Good communication Helps minimize hostilities
Conflict management is essential to all intimate relationships
A person whose lack of communication skills finally leads to the demise of their marriage will soon find that any new relationship is also in trouble

6. Communication failure
When communication is not accomplishing what it is suppose to.
People seek pleasure and avoid pain
It is important to try to avoid negative thoughts and communicate in a positive manner

7. The Foundation Blocks of Successful Communication
Commitment: The partners must be committed to make their relationship healthy and strong.
Couples often seek marriage counseling to late and so much pain and suffering have occurred that the commitment is destroyed
Principal of least interest

8. The Foundation Blocks of Successful Communication
Growth orientation: The partners must accept the fact that their relationship will always be dynamic and changing, rather than static.

9. The Foundation Blocks of Successful Communication
Noncoercive atmosphere: The partners must feel free to be themselves, to be open, and to be honest.
This cannot exist in a one-sided, totalitarian relationship

10. 3 types of marriages?
Laissez-faire: both partners have total freedom of choice and action
Democratic: shared responsibility and authority
Autocratic: both have responsibilities but authority is assigned to a single leader

12. Communication Skills
Communication Motivation: A felt need to communicate
Communication Skill: The ability to accomplish one’s communication goals
Communication Behavior: Verbal and nonverbal actions that a person takes to accomplish his/ her goals

13. Identifying Problem Ownership
Clarifying responsibility, or problem ownership, is an important first step in problem-solving communication.

14. Self-assertion
Self-assertion is the process of recognizing and expressing one’s feelings, opinions, and attitudes while remaining aware of the feelings and needs of others.

15. You-, I-, and We-Statements
You statements are least effective in problem solving situations.
Tend to create distance between people by placing blame on the other
Create and maintain an adversarial “I versus you or them” relationship

16. You-, I-, and We-Statements
I statements locate the feelings or concerns inside the person who is making the statement, rather than placing the problem on the other partner
Less apt to provoke resistance
The other person however has been made aware that he/she is the cause of the other persons discontent

17. You-, I-, and We-Statements
We statements place the problem in the group or relationship rather than on one of the individuals in the relationship
Center the problem in both persons or in the group, places responsibility on both people

18. Empathic Listening
Empathy means not only understanding what the speaker is saying, but also responding to and feeling the speaker’s nonverbal communications and emotions.

19. Empathic Listening Focus on the person who is talking
Nonjudgmental and accepting
Lets the speaker know that the listener hears and cares
Listen fully not selectively

20. Nonverbal Communication
If we are to be good listeners, part of our attention needs to be directed to the nonverbal communications of the speaker, often referred to as body language.

21. Nonverbal communication
Emotions are reflected throughout the body
Hand gestures
Eye contact/avoidance of
Very descriptive of a persons feelings
Bodily expressions
Facial expressions
Personal space

22. Negotiating
In negotiation, the partners alternate between self-assertion and empathic listening.

23. How women and men communicate
Page 140, lets go over this

24. Conflict-Causing Communication Strategies
Denial: when one partner does not acknowledge the problem.
Disqualification: when the person intends to cover an emotion and deny that a real conflict exists.

25. Conflict-Causing Communication Strategies
Displacement: the person places emotional reactions somewhere other than the real conflict source.
Disengagement: family members avoid conflict simply by avoiding one another.

26. Conflict-Causing Communication Strategies
Pseudomutuality: Family members appear to be perfectly happy and delighted with each other. In this style of anger, no hint of discord is ever allowed to spoil the image of perfection.

27. 5 negative types of couple interaction
Contempt- indicating one partner is inferior or undesirable
Criticism- making disapproving judgments about one’s partner
Defensiveness- not listening, but defending oneself against attack

28. stonewalling- refusing to listen to a partners complaints
Belligerence- being provocative challenging a partner’s power and authority

29. Anger Mild anger episodes can strengthen relationships in some cases
Constructive anger can alert a person to a problem in the relationship (i.u,we statements)
Repressing anger over a long period of time can lead to emotional detachment and indifference

30. Topics of Conflict
Handling money, dividing household tasks, relative relationships, jobs, social activities, alcohol use, moodiness, handling anger, and children all appear to be possible areas of conflict for many couples.

31. 1. The ability to accomplish one’s communication goals is
Communication Behavior
Communication Motivation
Communication Skill
Commitment

32. Answer: c
The ability to accomplish one’s communication goals is called communication skill.

33. 2. According to the text, this is basic to every human relationship.
Commitment
Growth
Trust
Communication

34. Answer: d
Communication is basic to every human relationship.

35. Commitment Self-assertion Communication Problem Ownership
3. The process of recognizing and expressing one’s feelings, opinions, and attitudes while remaining aware of the feelings and needs of others is
Commitment
Self-assertion
Communication
Problem Ownership

36. Commitment Self-assertion Communication Problem Ownership
3. The process of recognizing and expressing one’s feelings, opinions, and attitudes while remaining aware of the feelings and needs of others is
Commitment
Self-assertion
Communication
Problem Ownership