1. Uncovering The Hidden Relationship Issues That Affect Financial Decision Making
Louis M. Barretti, Ph. D

2. The Field of Financial Psychology
Benefits of a collaborative approach
The client’s perspective
Positive Psychology
Martin Seligman

3. Happiness
“A wealthy man is one who earns $100 more a year than his wife’s sister’s husband.”
-H.L Mencken
Research on Happiness
Richard Layard
Stanley & Markman
The Importance of Expectations

4. Balancing The Stress Of Life
“If I am working so hard, why isn’t it working?”
Five potential sources of joy or conflict in relationships.
Roommates
Lovers
Friends
Financial partners
Parents/children

5. Constructing a Relationship Balance Sheet
Snapshot of the current state of the relationship
Finances
Communication
Problem Solving
Work/Career
Time Together
Household Tasks
Intimacy and Sexuality
Children and Parenting
Your Partner’s Parents and Family
Recreation/Relaxation
Friends
Alcohol and Drugs
Religion/Spirituality
Values/Goals/Philosophy of Life
Trust

6. The Financial Genogram
The past is always present
Childhood messages
Religion
Society and the Media

7. Life as a Couple
“Marriage is an accumulation of shared moments, a series of compromises held together by small acts of love.”
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
-Henny Youngman
Teamwork
Who’s family of origin will the new system look like?
Who makes the money?
How much do we need?
How will we save or spend it?

8. Uncovering Hidden Relationship Issues
Control and Power
Caring
Recognition
Commitment
Integrity
Acceptance

9. Differences in Handling Money
Saving Spending
Risk Averse Risk Tolerant
Pensive Impulsive
Organized Generalist
Open to change---Values Constancy

10. The Meaning of Money: Four Primary Money Motivators
Freedom
Security
Power
Love

11. Parenting Moving from a 2 person to a 3 person system
The conveyer belt speeds up
The Sandwich Generation
Aging parents
Eldest daughter
Parental pensions

12. Legacy
The Launching Family
Grandchildren
Inheritance

13. Predictors of Marital Distress
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling

14. Developing A Shared Vision
Create time and privacy for communication
Develop a win-win negotiation style
Validate your partner’s point of view
Practice active listening
Communicate using “I” statements
Understand the emotional aspects of your own and your partner’s money personality-their memories, hopes, and fears
Encourage curiosity rather than reactivity
“Love is the heart’s immortal thought to be known and all forgiven.” Henry Van Dyke

15. Resources “Authentic Happiness” by Martin Seligman
“Happiness” by Richard Layard
“The Couple’s Guide to Love and Money” by Jonathan Rich
“Genograms in Family Assessment” by McGoldrick & Gerson
“Couples and Money” by Victoria Collins
“You Paid How Much For That?” By Jenkins, Stanley, Bailey, & Markman
“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman