1. Experience in India

2. Q : So, do you guys have electricity in India?

3. A: Of course. We generate electricity by making an elephant run around a field by setting fire to its tail.

4. Q : Do you have cars in India?

5. A: No. We only use cows and elephants.

6. Q : Will I be able to see elephants in the street?

7. A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

8. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore?

9. A: What did your last slave die of?

10. Q Do you have enough food in your country?

11. A: No. But when we get hungry, we eat the cows and the elephants.

12. Q: Can I bring cutlery into India?

13. A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

14. Q: Do you have perfume in India?

15. A: No, WE don't stink.

16. Q I hear that you actually have snake charmers with poisonous snakes roaming the cities.

17. A: Oh yes, I was a snake charmer once. In fact, I have one in my bag right now.

18. Q Do people have enough clothes to wear?

19. A: Sure. Everybody wears exclusive Calvin Klein underwear, Its keeps us cool.

20. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India?

21. A: Only at Christmas

22. Q Do you actually burn widows right after her husband's death?

23. A: Yup. We burn them whenever we want.

24. Q Can women vote in India?

25. A: No. We just burn them.

26. Q Do you have enough fuel in India?

27. A: I just told you about the women, didn't I?!!

28. Q Do you have "arranged" marriages in India?

29. A: Of course. We do like to organize things, you know...

30. Q: Do you have Toilet paper?

31. A: No, we use sand paper.