2. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice

3. Four Realms of Compatibility Genesis 2:24 (MSG) Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. Amos 3:3 (MSG) Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren't going to the same place? Mark 3:25 And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

4. Spiritual compatibility Emotional and intellectual compatibility Physical compatibility Compatibility in life's calling Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Four Realms of Compatibility

5. Proverbs 4:26 Ponder the path of your feet, And let all your ways be established. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Watch Out For Warning Signs

6. Signs of immaturity Signs of lack of preparation Signs of character weaknesses Signs of parental control Signs of parental dependence Get insight from parents and/or spiritual mentors Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Watch Out For Warning Signs

7. Romans 14:5 (GNB)...We each should firmly make up our own minds. James 1:8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice What Do You Expect? What Can You Give?

8. Q1 : What kind of spouse would you really like? What traits or qualities that are really important? What traits or qualities are nice but not critical? Chapter 3 : Making The Choice What Do You Expect? What Can You Give?

9. Q2 : What are your expectations of marriage? What kind of a home and family would you like to see built? Keep this practical and realistic. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice What Do You Expect? What Can You Give?

10. Q3 : What traits and qualities can I bring into my marriage for the benefit of my spouse? Q4 : How can I help toward building my marriage and building a home and family that I would like to see as described in my response to Q2? Chapter 3 : Making The Choice What Do You Expect? What Can You Give?

11. Genesis 24:1-15 Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Is There An "Appointed One" And Only?

12. Rebecca could have said 'No' Abraham's servant went out on the search for a bride and depended on God's guidance. He had his way of discerning God's guidance. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Is There An "Appointed One" And Only?

13. Abraham's servant did not over-ride the choice and will of the bride's family Ultimately it was Rebecca's decision There are many others whom God has led differently Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Is There An "Appointed One" And Only?

14. in doing the seeking, you are not going about trying to find the "appointed" one for your life, but the person you recognize as the one God is guiding you to and that you determine would be best for you. The one that you choose with God's guidance then becomes "the appointed one" for you. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Is There An "Appointed One" And Only?

15. Matthew 7:7 (GNB) 7 "Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. Proverbs 18:22 (MSG) Find a good spouse, you find a good life--and even more: the favor of GOD! Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Doing The Seeking

16. Proverbs 19:14 (GNB) A man can inherit a house and money from his parents, but only the LORD can give him a sensible wife. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Doing The Seeking

17. Making the decision on the person you are going to marry is a combination of the leading of God’s Spirit, following the instructions in God's Word, and using sound judgment, wisdom and godly counsel. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Doing The Seeking

18. Ephesians 5:17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Discerning God's Guidance

19. Romans 12:2 (GNB) And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Discerning God's Guidance

20. Colossians 1:9 (GNB) For this reason we have always prayed for you, ever since we heard about you. We ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will, with all the wisdom and understanding that his Spirit gives. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Discerning God's Guidance

21. Does this person have the traits and qualities that are important to me? Is there alignment and compatibility in all four realms? Is the person ready (prepared) or can this be addressed properly? Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Discerning God's Guidance

22. Are there any warning signs and have these been adequately addressed? Is there a witness (leading) in your spirit given by the Holy Spirit? Do you have God's peace about this? Are there any other external indicators where you have seen God's hand at work in guiding you to this? Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Discerning God's Guidance

23. Is it mutual? Are both ready to say 'Yes' to each other? Is there support and approval from parents? Is there support and approval from spiritual elders who oversee your life? Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Discerning God's Guidance

24. Romans 12:12 (GNB) Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times. Hebrews 11:1 (GNB) To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see. Chapter 3 : Making The Choice While You Are In Waiting

25. No Sex Before Marriage! Just say No! Higher standards for those in ministry Until you are married, You are NOT married Chapter 3 : Making The Choice The Engagement Period

26. Singleness could be a choice you make for Kingdom purposes (Matthew 19:11-12) Singleness is a gift - you are empowered for a life of celibacy (1 Corinthians 7:7-9,28) Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Am I Called To Be Single?

27. Singleness is a choice you make to focus on spiritual pursuits (1 Corinthians 7:32-38) Chapter 3 : Making The Choice Am I Called To Be Single?

28. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles

29. 1 Peter 3:7 (MSG) The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God's grace, you're equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don't run aground. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Equals, Joint-Heirs And Interdependent

30. 1 Corinthians 11:11-12 (GNB) 11 In our life in the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman was made from man, in the same way man is born of woman; and it is God who brings everything into existence. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Equals, Joint-Heirs And Interdependent

31. Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) 21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. 22 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

32. Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) 23 The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. 24 So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

33. Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) 25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--a love marked by giving, not getting. 26 Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

34. Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) 27 dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. 28 And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor--since they're already "one" in marriage. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

35. Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) 29 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, 30 since we are part of his body. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

36. Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) 31 And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." 32 This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

37. Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) 33 And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

38. Husband’s role and responsibility 1. Love as Christ loves 2. Nourish your wife 3. Cherish your wife 4. Lead as the head of the marriage 5. Know your wife 6. Honor your wife Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

39. Wife’s role and responsibility 1. Love your husband 2. Submit to your husband 3. Respect your husband 4. Help your husband Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles A Divine Parallel : Christ And His Church

40. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 1 Timothy 5:8 Titus 1:6-9 Titus 2:1-6 Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Responsibilities At Home And For The Family

41. 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 (MSG) 1 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Enjoying Sex

42. 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 (MSG) 2 Certainly--but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Enjoying Sex

43. 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 (MSG) 3 The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality--the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. 4 Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Enjoying Sex

44. 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 (MSG) 5 Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting--but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Enjoying Sex

45. 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 (MSG) 6 I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence--only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Enjoying Sex

46. Maintain a balanced and fulfilling sex life (vs 2) Sex must be enjoyed with mutuality, each seeking to satisfy the other (vs 3) Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Enjoying Sex

47. Sex is an opportunity to enable the husband and wife to enjoy each other's bodies and must not be used as a way to "hold something back" (vs 4). The husband and wife can agree to abstain from sex for a short period of time for prayer and fasting (vs 5) Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles Enjoying Sex

48. Proverbs 31:10-31 Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles The Virtuous Woman And Her Husband

49. For my wife to be a Proverbs 31 wife, I will have to be a Proverbs 31 husband. Chapter 4 : Understanding Roles The Virtuous Woman And Her Husband