1. Crafting effective thesis statements and elaborating points

2.  A thesis statement  An overview, or preview, of what you will be discussing in the essay  An interesting and engaging lead to catch the reader’s interest

3.  Is not necessarily just one paragraph  May include quotations or textual evidence  Is not merely a summary of the story or text  Clearly presents the writer’s ideas and opinions  Previews the ideas to come

4.  A thesis statement is your explanation of your view of the topic or your question. In your thesis statement, you MUST state your thoughts.  A thesis is your argument.

5.  “George Hadley buys a house for his family that does everything for them. The house cooks, cleans, ties shoes, and even rocks the family to sleep at night. In the house is a so- called nursery that brings the children’s wishes to life.”  What is wrong with this thesis?

6.  “George Hadley, the father in Ray Bradbury’s ‘the Veldt’, is a weak parent whose inability to discipline his children ultimately brings about his destruction.”  What is good about this thesis?

7.  Fact or observation: People use many lawn chemicals.  Thesis: People are poisoning the environment with chemicals merely to keep their lawns clean.

8.  Announcement: The thesis of this paper is the difficulty of solving our environmental problems.  Thesis: Solving our environmental problems is more difficult than many environmentalists believe.

9.  Title: Social Security and Old Age.  Thesis: Continuing changes in the Social Security System makes it almost impossible to plan intelligently for one's retirement.

10.  Broad: The American steel industry has many problems.  Narrow: The primary problem if the American steel industry is the lack of funds to renovate outdated plants and equipment.

11.  Vague: Hemingway's war stories are very good.  Specific: Hemingway's stories helped create a new prose style by employing extensive dialogue, shorter sentences, and strong Anglo-Saxon words.

12.  More than one main point: Stephen Hawking's physical disability has not prevented him from becoming a world-renowned physicist, and his book is the subject of a movie.  One Main point: Stephen Hawking's physical disability has not prevented him from becoming a world renowned physicist.

13.  Give a preview of your main ideas  “George’s mismanagement of his children causes them to become spoiled and bratty. George further withdraws from the kids’ lives, causing a total lack of communication in the family; ignoring the necessity of family ties is George’s greatest flaw.”

14.  A few adjectives go a long way!  Is the author’s diction grim? Uplifting? Oppressive? Foreboding? Invigorating?  Is the author’s syntax elaborate? Restrained? Complex?  Is the imagery bleak? Violent? Inspiring? Chilling? Overpowering?  Find strong, specific adjectives: steer clear of “good,” “bad,” “positive,” “negative,” etc.

15.  Explain—what? How? Why?  Evidence—quotes and paraphrasing  Example

16.  What?—the techniques used by the author, such as figurative language, rhetorical appeals (logos, ethos, pathos), and stylistic choices (diction, syntax, parallel structure)  How?—the effect of the techniques (what) upon the piece and the audience  Why?—the intent of the author

17.  AVOID CIRCULAR REASONING! When explaining, make sure to analyze—tell the relationship of each technique to the overall effect.  “It is logos because it is logical,” does not analyze.  “His argument that he would not take her father’s money suggests logically that he would be a kind and considerate husband, sensitive to her feelings,” explains the effect of the logos upon our perception of the character.

18.  Give examples  “For example, George allows the children to use the nursery for ‘one more minute’ when they complain that he intends to shut it off for good.”

19.  Explain any jargon or terms that the reader may not know.  Explain any ideas that the reader may not understand or that the reader may misunderstand.  “By ‘weak parent’, I mean to say that George too frequently gives in to his children, allowing them to run the family.”

20.  Show how the character is like or unlike another character in the story in a specific way.  Compare to an outside character (book, movie, TV show).  “Like George, Lydia gives in to the children’s wishes. However, whereas George attempts to follow through with shutting the nursery, Lydia tells George that doing so would be ‘cruel’; she is clearly even weaker as a parent than is George.”